Losing sight, figuratively speaking

Dear Mama,

    I'm almost losing sight of everything, figuratively speaking. Although my eyesight isn't really that good either.

    I don't know what's happening, Mama. It seems like I'm losing hope of everything and I'm just dragging myself day in and day out. There is nothing good happening to us lately, Mama.

    Financially, I am depleted. I am not even living paycheck to paycheck, Mama because I am always having a deficit. And every period is bigger that the last one, thus  I feel my financial woes accumulating.

    Physically, I don't know. I get tired easily. I get irritated easily. I don't know, Mama. It's like I'm getting back to my old self, or perhaps even worse.

    I have also disconnected from almost everything - Toastmasters, batchmates, friends, companions. I no longer want to be associated with anything.

    I don't know, Mama. I've lost zest. I've lost my drive. And it's the longest I've felt like this. I don't know if I can still recover.

    I'm sorry, Mama. I wish you were here.

                                                                                                        Daddy

Home alone

Dear Mama,

    I am home alone right now. The kids went to attend the baptismal of their niece. It will be in Manila and they will  be there overnight. They'll be back home tomorrow, afternoon or early evening most probably, Mama.

    I will just be cleaning up the laundry basket until tomorrow, Mama. Hopefully, that is.

    Nothing much to say. I don't have any plans, I might go out for coffee, or I might just sleep in early, Mama.

    That will be all for now, Mama. 

    I miss you. I love you, Mama.

        

                                                                                                    Daddy

Happy Teacher's Day!

Dear Mama,

    Happy Teacher's Day!

    If you were only here, I know you will be celebrated by a lot of students who love you. That's because you were such a good and kind teacher, Mama. Even to this day, when a former student of yours would recognize me, or would learn that I am your husband, they would approach me and they only have good words for you. Probably, you are now teaching little cherubim in heaven, Mama. 

    I wish you were here, Mama.

    Ralph still hasn't found a new job, but he's searching, Mama. He is applying left and right, and have attended a lot of interviews already. Hopefully he'll find a company that not only will pay him well, but will help him grow and succeed professionally.

    I really wanted to say a lot, Mama. But it's your day. I don't want to ruin it. Happy Teacher's Day, Mama!

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                        Daddy

Movie time with kids

Dear Mama,

    The kids and I watched a movie tonight. The movie was not really in our plans, Mama. We just went to SM Clark so they can buy gifts they will give for the Christening of their niece next week. I actually asked them to do it today because we received a bad news last night. Ralph was dismissed from his company with the reason being redundancy. He is looking for a new job now, Mama.

    I invited them to go out so we could forget about this bad news. I, too, am feeling a bit down lately, Mama.

    I hope things will get better for us soon.

    I wish I can hug you right now, Mama.

    I need you.

                                                                                                Daddy

We visited Kong Berning

Dear Mama,

    Ralph, Edgar, and I visited the wake of Kong Berning last night. Angel was supposed to go with us, but she wasn't feeling well, so she opted to stay at home. From the incomplete stories I gathered, it seems Kong Berning had a heart attack, Mama.

    Ralph and Edgar met their cousins, and also a few of their uncles and aunties, Mama. I was looking for the old folks so I can pay my respect to them, but it seems we are the old folks now. Tang Badong, I was told, passed away already last year. He was the last one from Ima's family. I was not able to ask from the side of Tatang's family.

    I went to the my doctor today, Mama, for my quarterly check up. He said my lab test results are good, and even my BP is normal. He advised me to continue with my maintenance medicines, Mama. He also added Vitamin B complex in my prescriptions.

    Ralph and I will be back at wake on Friday, Mama. I'm not sure if Edgar and Angel will come with us. The interment will be on Sunday.

    I guess that will be all for now, Mama. I miss you.

    I love you, Mama.

                                                                                                Daddy

Ralph's birthday

Dear Mama,

    Yesterday we celebrated Ralph's birthday. He turned 32 yesterday, Mama. We celebrated by watching a stand up comedy show because he likes watching those, Mama. We enjoyed the show, Mama. We were laughing all throughout. There were about 7 or 8 stand up comedians who delivered their skits, all with different style. I was thinking, I could do that, Mama.

    The show lasted until past midnight because they started late, at around 9:30 p.m. We reached home at around 1:00 a.m. already. Then we took his birthday cake from the ref and sang happy birthday for him, Mama. It was already past 2:00 a.m. when we rested. Tiring, but it's okay. Ralph was happy. The children were all happy, Mama.

    We also received news yesterday that Kong Berning passed away, Mama. We were supposed to go to the wake tonight, but when I was telling Ralph to get prepared he said he doesn't feel well. So, I opted for him to get a rest instead. We'll just go tomorrow. Probably he got tired last night because the place was crowded and quite small. He might have gotten some airborne virus that affected him again. I hope he'll be okay. Please pray for him, Mama. Touch him and make him well.

    That's all for now, Mama. Still wishing you were still with us. I'm sure you would have enjoyed the show last night. I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                       Daddy

It must be the weather

Dear Mama,

    For the last few days, it feels like I am going down with a fever or flu, especially every night. I feel cold, I feel weak, and my back aches. I am not sure if these are real or just in my mind, Mama. I've been so down lately. It feels like I almost want to give up. I feel tired, Mama.

    On Saturday, it will be Ralph's birthday. That's just 2 days from now, Mama. Our eldest will be turning 32 already. I am really getting old, Mama. Actually, I feel old. We will be celebrating on Saturday. Unfortunately, I have no money to buy any gift for Ralph, Mama. 

    Lately, it feels like I've been failing again, Mama.

    Where did I go wrong?

                                                                                                        Daddy

Home

Dear Mama,

We are finally home, Ralph and I. We were discharged this afternoon, or should I say yesterday because it's past 12 midnight now. He is better now, Mama. His BP is going back to normal, although he is still getting occasional 130 and 140.

I hope things get better for us, Mama.

I wish you were here.

Daddy 

P. S. I love you.