Had a great time at my gig last night

Dear Mama,

    I had a great time at my gig last night. It was not perfect, but I had a great time, Mama. I had a very receptive and appreciative audience. And I think I'm funny hahaha.... I had some bloopers - wrong chords, wrong words, bad punchline deliveries, and the like, but it didn't matter to me, Mama. I was having fun.

    It was a bit exhausting, though. I played for 1 hour and 30 minutes straight! I had an option to offer open mike to people who wanted to sing, but I did not opt to it because I might not be able to accompany them. Beside, I should be the star of the show haha... Kidding, it's the first reason, really.

    I was more confident last night compared to my previous gig there, Mama. Angel noticed it, too. Perhaps because the weather was okay. And I had some young people telling me after the show, "Ang galing n'yo po!" That felt great, Mama. 

    It was far from perfect, but I had a great time. I hope I made you proud, Mama. Wish you were there watching me.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                            Daddy

Friday night again

Dear Mama,

    It's Friday night again. I'm waiting for Ralph, he is preparing to leave for work, Mama. Angel already left earlier. Edgar just arrived home a few minutes ago.

    I just finished practicing for my gig tomorrow, Mama. I'm praying I will do well and I will not encounter any technical issues like last time. I'll wear a new t-shirt design for my Roy2dworld logo, Mama. I'm excited, although still a bit nervous. 

    That's all for now, Mama. Please pray for me.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                Daddy

Feeling overwhelmed right now

Dear Mama,

    I am feeling overwhelmed right now. I don't know if it's really overwhelmed, or just another episode of anxiety, or I am overwhelmed with anxiety. I don't know what I feel right now, Mama. But I know I am not okay.

    I have a busking gig on Saturday at the Museo Ning Angeles again, Mama. The place where I had a lot of bloopers last May. I'll be back there this Saturday, and I am afraid I'll have the same experience again. I don't know why I said yes, but Angel was pushing me, Mama. I had problem with the spotlight then. I cannot see the markings on my guitar fret that's why I was playing wrong chords in some of the songs. I also had problem with my audio. It was weak, not clear, and I think it was grounded because I was having some crackling sounds. Because of that, my confidence was affected and I struggled throughout my set. I'm not so sure about this Saturday. I also need a new set and a script.

    There's a new puppy in our garage, Mama. I heard it crying in front of our gate around 4:30 a.m. today. I thought it was one of the kittens. I fed it, and it went inside the garage. Because I was afraid it might hurt the kittens, I put it back outside, Mama. But it didn't leave and it didn't stop crying. Until it was able to forced itself through one of the grills, Mama. Now, I don't know what to do it. There's a tiny kitten that seems to be afraid of the puppy. The puppy wanted to play but the kitten was so small, Mama. The tiny kitten is also new here, it just appeared in front of gate last week. Somebody must have dropped it there.

    These, and a lot of other things, Mama. I don't know. I need to practice for my set this Saturday. But I cannot focus because of this anxiety. I don't know what to do, Mama.

    I wish you were here.

                                                                                                Daddy

Monday fever

Dear Mama,

    I got rained on earlier when I was going home. It was just a drizzle, Mama. After a while, I felt cold while I was resting. I felt I had fever, Mama. I took paracetamol. I feel better now. I think.

    Angel is already at work, Mama. Ralph is still sleeping. I will wake him up later so he can prepare for work. We already had our dinner, Mama. I feel sleepy now, but I had to wait until Ralph leaves for work.

    That will be all for now, Mama. I really don't have anything much to say.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                    Daddy

Rainy Friday night

Dear Mama,

    It's a rainy Friday night. It's past 7 p.m. and Angel is on her way to work, Mama. I just booked her Grab car, and she's on her way now. The rain started as she was about to get into the car. I hope they'll have a smooth travel, Mama. Although traffic is expected because it's Friday and it's raining. I'm monitoring her through my app, Mama.

    Ralph is also getting ready for work. He said he's going to leave early tonight, and he won't be having dinner here. Edgar is still not here, Mama. He and his officemate went out for coffee night. So, once Ralph leaves, I'll be all alone here, Mama. Edgar won't be home until probably 10 p.m. the earliest.

    It think the rain has stopped, Mama. Or it just rested. It's been on and off, Mama. I hope the cats and kitten in our garage our safe. I couldn't let them all in the house, Mama.

    I already had my dinner earlier. I ordered tocilog from the apartment in front of us. I also ordered for Angel's lunch break later at work. I'm not sure if it's the app lagging or there's really traffic in Balibago right now, but the car in the tracker is not moving, Mama. It's seems they are already inside Clark.

    That's all for now, Mama. I have to clean the cats' litter boxes.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                        Daddy

Just another Monday

Dear Mama,

    It's just another Monday. Angel is already at work, it's 8 p.m. now. Ralph is getting ready for work, too. We already had our dinner, Mama. Not sure really what to write here.

    Yesterday, we went to SM City Clark just to eat, Mama. Ralph attended an event after lunch and he met us at SM around 5 p.m. for the dinner, and afterwards we went straight home. We were not able to have coffee, which might have frustrated Angel because I felt she didn't want to go home. Although she immediately fell asleep as soon as we arrived home. She was actually already sleeping while we were still in the Grab car, Mama.

    Anyway, I really do not know to say. But I wanted to talk to you, Mama. I wish I could.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                    Daddy

Wednesday night

 Dear Mama,

    It's Wednesday night, and we already had our dinner. Angel is already at work, Mama. She left at 7 p.m. earlier (it's 8:20 p.m. now) before we had our dinner. But Edgar was able to pack her 'lunch' for work, Mama. Ralph is resting now. I will wake him up later at 9 p.m.

    I really don't have much to say now, Mama. Still grinding while dragging my whole existence. Also waiting for my songs in Spotify to be noticed. I'm still not getting much streams, Mama. I guess I just wasted my time and money.

    I'm a bit sleepy now, Mama. But I have to fight it because I still have to wake Ralph up later.

    Anyway, I guess that will be all for now, Mama.

    I miss you.

    I love you, Mama.

                                                                                                        Daddy

Friday anxiety

Dear Mama,

    It's almost 5 p.m., I'll be waking Angel up in a while so she can prepare for work. Although I'm not sure if she's okay. Earlier she sent a message while I was work that she's not feeling well, Mama. She said she'll take a nap and see if she'll feel better later. I hope she is, so she can complete the whole week, Mama.

    Edgar just arrived home from work. He is the one preparing the our dinner, as well as Angel's packed 'lunch' for work. Their lunch is around 11 p.m., though. 

    I'm having anxiety again, Mama. It's Friday, aside from Angel's condition I'm worried again about the restobar beside us. I hope there won't be any problem tonight.

    I'll be reporting the house rent balance again by the end of month, Mama. I am worried because I have so many advances that I might not be able to pay off. Ate Let will get mad at me again. I got caught up again in expenses, Mama. And it seems worse this time. Angel has had a lot of check ups, laboratories, and consultations. Aside from other indulgences to make her feel better. I'm sorry, Mama. I thought things will get better for us financially. I might resort to lenders just to cover up for my advances, Mama.

    I guess that'll be all for now. I'm sorry for the problems, Mama.

    I wish you were here.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                Daddy