Getting ready to upload to Spotify

Dear Mama,

    I received my finished product today. My original song that I have asked to be arranged, recorded for vocals, and sent for mixing is now back to me, all ready for uploading to Spotify to be released. But I am worried, Mama. I know my voice isn't beautiful, so I am worried about what they'll say.

    I know, I have already reached this far, I have spent time and money already. I guess I should go for it, right Mama? But that's just the easy part, Mama. I don't know if I will have the courage to promote it once it's live in Spotify and other platforms.

    If only I was even just half as good as you are a singer. If you were only here, you'll definitely be the one singing my compositions, and they will sound good, Mama.

    Oh well, I need to prepare and gather the courage to upload the song now, Mama. I hope I can make you proud, or at least not embarrassed. 

    I wish you were here. I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                    Daddy

Update on Ralph

Dear Mama,

    Ralph went to see a pulmonologist today. At first when he sent us a message, he said he might need to be admitted in the hospital. I got worried, Mama. Because if he'll be admitted, that means he's not okay.  The problem was that he's in-between jobs, and he has no health insurance right now.

    He said they are still waiting for him to rest. His breathing was tested, and he registered 250-340 where the normal should be at least 450. I was not surprised based on what I saw from him last Sunday while we were out, Mama. After resting, he was asked to use his inhaler before they tested him again. He registered 450-550, Mama. Only then was he allowed to go home.

    He was prescribed medicines, Mama. Most of which were like his current medicines. A nasal spray was added to his medicines, and he was prescribed to use his inhaler twice a day, 2 pups per take. It was just as needed before his check up, Mama. Now, it's included in his maintenance.

    Praying he'll get better soon, Mama. Especially now that he'll be starting in his new company next week. Help me pray for him, Mama.

    

                                                                                                                    Daddy

Worried about Ralph

Dear Mama,

    I am getting worried about our son, Ralph. We were out today because Angel wanted to watch the show of her favorite group Alamat in Marquee Mall. Everything was okay, Mama. Until after the show, while we were walking, we noticed Ralph grasping for air. We asked if he's okay, and he said yes. 

    While we were eating, he again stopped for a while. He wasn't bringing his inhaler, Mama. We immediately went home after eating, and he asked for his inhaler. He feels better now, he is resting. But I asked him to nebulize once he has rested.

    I am worried about him, Mama. His cough seems to be getting worse, and he is almost grasping for breath. I asked him to consult with a pulmonologist. His doctor is an internal medicine and has no specialization yet. So far, he is prescribed with an inhaler, and the medicine used in nebulizers. He is not getting better, as far as his cough is concerned. That's why I asked to seek a pulmonologist. He will be seeing one on Tuesday, Mama. 

    He is about to start in his new job, Mama. I am praying that his health, especially his respiratory, won't get in the way. Help me pray for him, Mama.

    Please help me make Ralph feel better.

                                                                                                            Daddy

 

This day again

Dear Mama,

    I really don't know how to greet you every time this day arrives. Should I greet you happy valentines day? Or should I greet you happy birthday in heaven, Mama? I don't know if I'm confused, heartbroken, or just stubborn.

    18 years ago today, you left us and went home with Our Father. It was tough for us. Painful. But it was freedom for you. Freedom from all the pain and suffering. You've been strong for so long, and you deserved to rest. Maybe I was just selfish to let you go. That was why you left when I was out. I wasn't even able to say goodbye.

    18 years and everything's still clear to me - the doctors, the nurses, the commotion, their effort to revive you, and me standing on the door looking in. Until they stopped trying, and one by one offering condolences and sympathy as they left the room.

    18 years and nothing has changed. I just learned to live with it. But the pain, questions, and confusions, they are all still inside. All kept within. Tucked in. Because no one would understand. And why should they?

    18 years and I still don't know how to greet you on this day. But I will always wish you were still here with us.

    I miss you, Mama.

                                                                                                        Daddy

First recording session

Dear Mama,

    I just had my first recording session today. I went to the recording studio to record my first song that I will release in Spotify, Mama. I had four takes, and the person I was talking to there said he will be doing some editing before sending me the vocals that I'll be sending to the one who will do the mixing before I can upload it to Spotify. 

    I'm not sure if this is all worth it, Mama. But I guess I will push through with it. 

    That's all I have to say for now, Mama. I just want to update you on my musical journey.

    I wish you here, I could use someone to cheer me.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                        Daddy

Sunday family day

Dear Mama,

    Our children and I went to Marquee Mall today just to spend our Sunday afternoon there. It was just me, Ralph, and Angel, Mama. Edgar went out this morning for his insurance agent endeavor, Mama. But he met us at Marquee Mall. He actually arrived there before us.

    Since there wasn't really anything much to see at the mall, we had our dinner at around 5 p.m. We ate at the food court in Marquee Mall, and we just rested there for a while. After dinner, and after resting for a while, we went to The Infinity Place, Mama. We had our coffee there, because the Starbucks in Marquee Mall is already closed because of the mall expansion and renovation.

    We stayed at Starbucks until around 8:30 p.m., Mama. Then we went straight home, because I was already feeling cold. Good thing, booking a grab car today wasn't hard.

    That's how our Sunday went today, Mama. Tomorrow's Monday again, and we'll be back to work.

    Until my next letter, Mama.

    I miss you.

    I love you, Mama.

        

                                                                                                        Daddy

Updates on me and Ralph

Dear Mama,

    I already have the song I sent for arrangement. They sent me a minus one, or what they call as track. It was nice, Mama. My song has a professional-sounding accompaniment. My only concern is, I cannot play it that way, live. I will have to make do of it for now, Mama.

    Now, I need to go to a recording studio so I can record the vocals of the song. But I have cough right now, Mama. I'm not sure if I should proceed and hope I won't cough while recording, or hope the studio can fix it. Or if I should wait for the cough to subside. But if I delay, I might lose the drive (which I already am), and no longer push through in releasing my song, Mama. Also, I might spend all my money and have no more funds for releasing my song. I don't know, Mama. I'm confused.

    Last night, when I stood up to go the bathroom to pee, Ralph talked to me and said one of the company he was applying to messaged him and said he was accepted. When I asked if they already gave him an offer, he said not yet. They were asking for a copy of his pay slip from his previous company before they give him the final proposition. I don't know if it was all true, because it was around 11 to 12 midnight, and I was half-asleep, Mama. He did not mention anything this morning as I was preparing for work.

    Anyway, that will be all for now, Mama. Really wish you were here. I could use your advice.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                        Daddy

London bridge is falling down

Dear Mama,

    I've been feeling anxious since this morning. I don't know what's causing it, Mama. Angel is sick again. She cannot eat well. She doesn't have any appetite although she's trying to eat, Mama. Please help us. Make Angel well, Mama.

    Ralph is also not feeling well, although he's trying to cope. He still doesn't have a job right now. He's still waiting for calls from those he'd applied on. He isn't talking much lately, and I don't know what to say to him, Mama.

    It seems it's only Edgar who is up right now, or at least he's trying to. I guess it's because of his new endeavor as a financial consultant. He needs to be positive and not easily give up. I wish he'd be successful, Mama.

    It will be Nanay's birthday in a month's time. For the last 10 years, we've been celebrating her birthday, Mama. Koya Boy and Ate Let usually goes home during Nanay's birthday. I'm always worried during these times, Mama.

    Anyway, that will be all for now, Mama. I'm sorry for failing our children. I wish you were still here. I knew they'd be much better.

                                                                                                        Daddy