ss_blog_claim=1d71f8786f2d8adfc991f224918cf210

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

I miss our family

Dear Mama,

It's been a year, I'm sorry. I really plan on deleting this space from the internet permanently because I feel like I'm only making things worse. I'm sorry, Mama. 

The last time I wrote I was feeling lost, now I am worse. I'm lost, confuse, and alone. The kids grew up and I am basically on my own. They are still with me, Mama although I feel that they are so distant. It's like I am losing my kids... especially Angel.

Mama, please tell me I am just overthinking. I never felt so alone in my life. Before, I knew I will always have the kids by my side. Now, I am no longer sure. I guess as long as I know that they are happy and secured, I should be contented with that.

I miss our kids, Mama. I miss my Angel.

I wish we are still a whole family.

I miss our family, Mama. I miss us. I miss you.

If only we could all be together again.

I love you, Mama.

Daddy

Thursday, January 28, 2016


I'm sorry, Mama... I failed.

Sunday, January 17, 2016

Dear Mama,

Please help me... guide me with Angel, Mama. I seem to keep on pushing her away.

Help me, Mama.

Daddy

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Dear Mama,

Angel's 18th birthday already passed. We just went out just like a usual weekend bonding, the kids and I. Nothing special, Mama. We spent the whole afternoon in SM Clark where Angel played the Gashopon at Comic Alley (I do not know what that is) and bought her a cheesecake at a bakery in SM that she has been eyeing before. After that, we roamed around the mall again, just doing some window shopping, Mama.

Ralph's girlfriend bought her a dress as gift. I was supposed to buy her a laptop, unfortunately, we haven't received our last pay from our previous employer yet. For dinner, we went at the coffee shop of a former officemate who invited me there, her gift for Angel's birthday.

After dinner, we went to the park at Villa Angela because that's where we ate. Angel and her kuyas played on the swing. Then we went home. Angel said she was satisfied. Of course, I know better.

I'm sorry, Mama. I wish I had more to make her happy. I'm really sorry.

Please forgive me.

I love you, Mama.

I miss you.


Daddy

Monday, January 4, 2016

Dear Mama,

It looks like Angel is no longer excited for her birthday. Maybe because she knows there's nothing special that she can look forward to on that day. I did promise her to take them out, Mama. It will just be like a regular weekend bonding for us, not a memorable birthday party for her.

I'm sorry, Mama.


Daddy

Friday, January 1, 2016

Dear Mama,

Ralph is not feeling well but he has to travel back to Makati today. Please guide him, Mama so he will be safe in his travel. 

I'm sorry I was not able to take good care of him, Mama. I know our children would have been in better hands if you were here instead of me.

I'm sorry, Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Thursday, December 31, 2015

Dear Mama,

Today is the first day of the new year. I really do not know if I should be worried or be excited. Honestly Mama, right now my heart is filled with anxiety. Our baby will be turning 18 in eight days, and as I told you before, she is drifting away from me. I can feel it.

Within two weeks too, Ate Let will be coming home. Although she will be staying in Pampang, she might visit us to see her house. I do not know what she will say once she sees her house in chaos, she might ask us to move out because we did not take care of her house.

I really do not know what to think now, Mama. My head is full of stuff and I cannot sort them out.

I'm losing it, Mama. I need you.


Daddy

Friday, December 25, 2015


Mama, I feel like I'm losing the battle... if I haven't lost it yet.

I'm sorry, Mama.