Edgar's birthday celebration

Dear Mama,

    I had the prostate ultrasound procedure yesterday as requested by my doctor. During the ultrasound procedure, the doctor on duty I am still okay. There is nothing wrong nor are my prostate enlarged. I will be going back to my doctor tomorrow to bring the ultrasound result, Mama.

    We also celebrated Edgar's birthday yesterday. We had an early dinner in Balibago, afterwards we went straight home and we continue the celebration with the birthday cake I bought yesterday morning. Of course, we sang happy birthday for Edgar, Mama. We also gave him our gifts, which were a travelling bag from me and Angel, while Ralph gave him a pair of pants and video game cartridges. 

    After eating the cake , I already went to sleep, Mama because I suddenly felt weak and tired.

    That will be my update for today, Mama. 

    I miss you, Mama. I love you.

                                                                                                Daddy

It's getting hot in here

Dear Mama,

    It's getting hot lately because it's already summer. And you know how hot summer can be in our country, Mama. But it's not only the weather that's getting hot, Mama. It seems my temper has been quick to rise up easily lately. I immediately get angry and snaps at a flick of a finger.

    I don't know if it's me, the weather, or something else. Lately, I have been encountering situations that easily irritates me, and sometimes I cannot control myself. I know I should not let outside forces influence my inner peace or something. I thought I was about to master that, but lately I'm failing, Mama.

    Is it my age? Or am I just simply tired of everything?

   This Wednesday I'll be having my prostate ultrasound. I don't know what to think. I'm afraid that I almost don't want to go through it. I don't know why my doctor recommended it.

    It will also be Edgar's birthday, Mama. Our EA will be turning 28. I'm really old, Mama. But I still have not raised anything tangible that I can leave to our children. I have failed, Mama. I hope they will do better once I'm gone.

    I'm tired, Mama. I miss you. 

    I love you, Mama. I wish I can be with you soon.

                                                                                                    Daddy

What's next?

Dear Mama,

    It's early Sunday evening. Edgar is preparing our dinner now. He prepares our meals most of the time. Initially, he planned of opening up a food business that's why he tried experimenting in the kitchen since the pandemic. I don't know if he still plans to do that, but he continued preparing our meals. 

    It's Monday again tomorrow, and back to work I'll go. I'm not really complaining about going back to work, Mama. You know I have no problem with my work. However, I do have problem continuing with life itself. I don't know what's going to be next.

    I mentioned in my last letter that I lost in the Division speech contest in Toastmasters, hence I can longer continue in pursuing my dream. I will still continue with Toastmasters, but the enthusiasm won't be there, Mama. I think I lost all my zest.

    Last Friday I had my quarterly check up with my doctor, Mama. He said the results of my blood chemistry and 2D Echo were okay. However, he ordered me to have prostate ultrasound, Mama. He said there were stains of blood in my urinalysis, and asked if I had problem urinating. I said not really a problem, but it's frequent, and mostly small quantities only. I mean, it wasn't like before. I thought it was just because of my age, Mama. But he said it could be because of enlarged prostate, that's why he gave me a request to do the procedure.

    I'm not sure if I want to do it, Mama. What if he is correct? What will happen then? He wants me to do it ASAP, Mama. I'm still thinking about it.

    That's all for my update for now, Mama. If only you were here, I would have been much comfortable going through this stage.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                    Daddy

The end of the journey

Dear Mama,

    Yesterday we had our Division level speech competition, and I competed in the Humorous and International category because I won in the Area level last month. Unfortunately, Mama, I did not win yesterday. I really did not lose because I landed second place, but still not a champion. That means I will not be proceeding to the District finals in April, and my journey towards being a champion speaker has ended yesterday. Oh well, I did my best, Mama. I hope you're still proud of me.

    As for my songwriting 'career,' I performed last Tuesday at the Museo Ning Angeles during the National Arts Month culminating activity in Angeles City, Mama. There were more audience than I had with the songwriters group. There were also mostly people I don't know, that's why I was so nervous that it was actually obvious in my voice. But I still sang my songs.

    Anyway, that will all for now, Mama. Ralph and Edgar are not here now. They are in Tagaytay with their cousins. They might come home late tonight. Angel is still sleeping.

    Until my next letter, Mama. I miss you.

    I love you.

                                                                                            Daddy