Friday, January 27, 2012

Sorry about my last post...

Dear Mama,

I'm sorry about my last letter. It's just that I'm really tired of all these pains. I'm tired of getting hurt. If only you were here, I won't have to go through all these. I'm starting it again. I'm sorry, Mama. I really wish I can be with you soon.

I miss you.


Friday, January 20, 2012

Why do you have to leave?

I wish you didn't have to leave. I was taking good care of you, aren't I? I was willing to give up everything, turn my back on everything, just so I can take good care of you. But why do you have to leave me? If only you were here, I wouldn't have to go through all these stupid things. I wouldn't have to feel so lonely and look for acceptance... only to be hurt, ridiculed, judged, and be treated like I'm a piece of shit! Why do you have to leave, Mama? I promised to take good care of you. I was taking good care of you!

Monday, January 16, 2012

Dear Mama

Dear Mama,

Here I am, early at work. I had to leave early because I needed to have my Promissory Note for Angel's tuition fee be signed by their principal. Later, I will go to the main campus to have it signed by the finance head and get her examination permit. I don't how I will manage Mama, but hey! I've been through worst, right? I guess, I should just worry less and just continue to go on like there's no problem... or should I?

Anyway, Ralph has a girlfriend now. Well, I mean at least it's official. Unlike before when he's saying that he's still courting her. I am backing off from him now and let him make his own decisions. Of course, I will always be there to guide him if he needs it. For now, I just had to let him grow.

Edgar is stepping up, as far as house chore is concerned. I just hope he gets more responsible and realistic. Just like me, he likes to dream a lot... of things that are quite impossible, I must say. Anyway, he's growing up too. So I just let him be.

As for Angel... oh boy! Should I prepare myself, Mama? She's growing up so fast. I don't know how I would be able to let go of her. Little by little, I can feel that she's testing her independence. She's been asking permissions to go here... to go there... do something, or buy something. Sometimes, I allow her. Sometimes, I don't... but I rarely win, Mama.

Well, that's quite a mouthful. I hope I didn't bother you enough, just wanted to update you on the kids. Take care of yourself, Mama. I am really missing you.

I love you.


Monday, January 9, 2012

Angel turns 14... silently

Dear Mama,

Angel turns 14 yesterday. It just passed silently as we didn't have any celebrations. I'm sorry I was not able to celebrate her special day, Mama. Well, I was able to cook for her. I do hope that this weekend, I will be able to take her out, and buy her something.

The kids will be having their exams again soon, Mama. You know what that means. Anyway, I really do not have anything good to say right now. Hmm... you know? You should have tasted my barbeque 'liempo' last night. Angel said it was good. But I'm sure, it will be better if you're the one who cooked it.

That will be all for now, Mama. Take care of yourself.

I miss you, Mama.

I love you.


Wednesday, January 4, 2012

More dreams and opportunities... and hurdles

Dear Mama,

It's another year, and I am having bigger dreams for 2012. I was told by my publisher just recently Mama that they are negotiating for my book REFLECTION to be sold in National Bookstore. Nothing's final yet, but they said there a possibility that it will happen. The only problem with that Mama, is that since they have a lot of branches, I will need to have many books printed and I do not have the funds to finance that much printing. It is a good chance, though. I wish I have the resources, I do not want such an opportunity to slip, Mama.

Of  course I am also planning to publish more books this year, Mama. I want to have a Book 2 of my REFLECTION, a short story book, an inspirational book, and either a Kapampangan or Tagalog book. That would mean more funds requirement. Anyway, I can dream Mama, right? I only wish it won't just be a dream.

If only you're still here, Mama. I'm sure you can help me find a solution to these problems. Not only that, I wanted you to be there when it all happens... and then you'll be proud of me. I'm sorry I tarried, Mama.

I guess I bothered you enough for now. Take care of yourself, Mama. I miss you.

I love you, Mama.


Monday, January 2, 2012

Happy new year, Mama!

Dear Mama,

Happy new year! I'm sorry. I know it's already the second day of the new year and my last letter to you was last Christmas. It's only now that I was able to have access to the Internet. Just like in previous New Year celebrations, I didn't really prepare for it. We did not have parties or anything, just a simple Medya Noche shared with the kids.

I was so proud of myself, Mama. I made macaroni salad for our Medya Noche, and it wasn't that bad. Actually, Angel gave it a thumbs up. I don't want to brag, Mama... but hey! It was really good! To think it was my first attempt and I even lacked some green ingredients. I know, you were guiding me then, Mama.

Meanwhile, Angel made desserts for us. She bought cupcakes and colorful candies, arranged them each in plates and they looked deliciously cute. I'm sure, you would be proud of your daughter, Mama.

Then, that was it. After eating and a little rest, the kids went to sleep. It was the simplest New Year celebration we had. I promise to make up for it next year. So, until my next letter. Take care of yourself, Mama. I miss you.

I love you.