Friday, June 25, 2010

I wish I can talk you

Dear Mama,

I wish I can to you. Something's happening to me lately, and I wanted to know what you think or how you feel about it. I really I wish I can see you.

The kids are fine, Mama. They're great kids, I'm so proud of them. Thank you for giving them a good foundation.

Take care of yourself, Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Sunday, June 20, 2010

Father's day

Dear Mama,

Today is Father's Day, and I really have no plans of going out because I have to money to treat the kids. But they asked me to take them to SM Clark, and said they will treat me because it's father's day. At first I didn't want to, Mama, saying that they should just save the money. But Angel was persistent and I fear I might be causing disappointment to them, so I obliged.

We have good kids, Mama. Thank you for raising them well. Mama, I wish I could talk to you. I have something very important to tell, I hope I can see you.

That's all for now, Mama. Take care of yourself. I love you, Mama. I miss you.


Friday, June 18, 2010

Update on the kids

Dear Mama,

Sorry I haven't written for a long time. I've been disorganized lately. Too many things that I want to do, and I end up not accomplishing anything.

This morning, I took Angel to her school. Today is Saturday, but she said she needs to go because today is the audition for the dance club that she wanted to join. I'm sure you know how Angel loves to dance, Mama. I think she got it from you. Honestly, I don't want to, but it's her passion lately, and I bowed to support her in endeavors.

Ralph is getting more responsible lately, Mama. I think he's maturing. But of course, there will always be the little boy who is so playful and curious of everything. Looks like I can't take that away from him, Mama. I am just trying to guide him to channel that curiosity. So far, I haven't been unsuccessful.

Edgar, on the other hand, will be more serious in his studies now. He's in his fourth year in high school, and said he want to take up engineering in college. But he is aiming for high grades in his last year in high school. He was asking me to buy him a drum set, so I asked him to get honors, and I will buy him his request. Actually, I also have agreements with Ralph and Angel, so I can encourage them.

As for me, nothing's new. Just living my life, one day at a time. Living a daily existence, with my only aim is to make to through the day. Oh well, that's just how it has been. I'm sure you know why. It's like walking and dragging my feet as I do.

But I'm surviving, Mama, or at least I think I do... or at least, until the I day I be allowed to be with you again. Take care of yourself, Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Saturday, June 5, 2010

Would it be okay if I leave the kids?

Dear Mama,

Yesterday, I met with my friend Alex, Mama. He works in Dubai. I asked him if there is a possibility for me to work there, and he told me what to do - where to apply, what to watch out for, although necessarily in his company.

You know Ralph is in his third year in college now, Mama. Edgar is in his fourth year in high school, while Angel is in Grade 6. By next school year, I will have two kids to send in college and Angel will be in high school. It is nearly impossible for me to afford all their expenses if I stay here, Mama.

But that would mean, I would be leaving them alone if I work overseas. My friend can do it because he has his wife to look after their kids. What was going on in my mind, Mama was that, the kids are already without a mother and then I will make them fatherless too.

Nothing's final yet, Mama. I haven't even applied. But just thinking about Angel growing up without me by her side makes me anxious, Mama. Yet, I have to be practical. I have to be realistic. I know we have great kids, Mama. You have set such a strong foundation on them. They can take care of themselves.

Maybe it's me. I don't want to be away from them. I always want to see them to be sure they are safe.

I don't know what to do, Mama. I'm torn. I have to be realistic, yet I am apprehensive. Wish you were here. Making this decision could have been easy.

That will be all for now, Mama. I just hope I will make the right choice. Take care of yourself. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.