Saturday, June 5, 2010

Would it be okay if I leave the kids?

Dear Mama,

Yesterday, I met with my friend Alex, Mama. He works in Dubai. I asked him if there is a possibility for me to work there, and he told me what to do - where to apply, what to watch out for, although necessarily in his company.

You know Ralph is in his third year in college now, Mama. Edgar is in his fourth year in high school, while Angel is in Grade 6. By next school year, I will have two kids to send in college and Angel will be in high school. It is nearly impossible for me to afford all their expenses if I stay here, Mama.

But that would mean, I would be leaving them alone if I work overseas. My friend can do it because he has his wife to look after their kids. What was going on in my mind, Mama was that, the kids are already without a mother and then I will make them fatherless too.

Nothing's final yet, Mama. I haven't even applied. But just thinking about Angel growing up without me by her side makes me anxious, Mama. Yet, I have to be practical. I have to be realistic. I know we have great kids, Mama. You have set such a strong foundation on them. They can take care of themselves.

Maybe it's me. I don't want to be away from them. I always want to see them to be sure they are safe.

I don't know what to do, Mama. I'm torn. I have to be realistic, yet I am apprehensive. Wish you were here. Making this decision could have been easy.

That will be all for now, Mama. I just hope I will make the right choice. Take care of yourself. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.