Dear Mama,

I am not feeling well today. My head is throbbing all day long and my nape is aching. I asked to have my BP checked this afternoon Mama, and it registered 130/80. I guess that is why I am in pain. Is this going to be a regular thing for me, Mama?

You know what happened? I got reprimanded and was issued a memo for not reprimanding a subordinate for his tardiness. I guess I am not really a good shepherd, Mama. I cannot take care of my flocks. Worst, I am even being blamed for it for not reminding him!

Am I really a loser, Mama?

I really wish I can hug you right now, Mama. I need you.

I love you.

Daddy

Dear Mama,

My knees are now hurting even if I am just walking. I am worried, Mama. Does this mean that I am really old? Running is my only exercise to keep myself healthy and now I cannot even do brisk walking. Why is life like this, Mama? Am I really such a loser?

I will no longer pursue my feelings with Lena, Mama. No matter how much I like her, I know I do not have a chance. Besides, as I what is happening to me now, I am really getting old. I might just be  a burden to her. She will be the last one, Mama. I will no longer hope for anything. I will just fulfill my promise to you and make sure that the kids are always okay and that they will have a better future. And when I am sure that they are all settled, I will just wait for the time to be with you again.

I am really tired, Mama. I want to rest. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Dear Mama,

Hi! How are you, Mama? If you'll ask me, I am not really okay. A lot of things are going in my mind right now, Mama.  Yesterday, I went back to the doctor to bring the results of my tests. He said my uric acid and blood sugar are high, Mama. He also said I could be at risk of having diabetes if I do not watch myself. He did not give me any medications for maintenance yet, Mama. He just advised me to watch what I eat and avoid all those food that could aggravate my situations. 

What can I say? This is exactly the reason why I do not like to go to the doctor, Mama. Anyway, I just hope that whatever happens, I will not cause any problem to our kids or other people.

Mama, can I talk to you about Lena? I have been telling you about her every time I visit you at La Pieta. Guess what? It looks like I do not have a chance with her. What's new?! Maybe because you gave me so much love when you were still here that The Guy Above thinks that it's good enough to last me until I die. Maybe He's right. Maybe that is the reason why I am still alone today, maybe because I really do not anybody.

But I really like her, Mama. I do. I just wish she would give me a chance.

What am I talking about?! I'm sorry, Mama. Please forgive me. I'm talking nonsense again. Anyway, Angel is already enrolled in STI this early for her first year, first semester in college. Edgar will be starting his on-the-job training next week at PLDT, and Ralph is still busy working at SGV in Makati. All is well, Mama. Don't worry about us.

Well, I guess that will be all for now, Mama. Do take care of yourself. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Dear Mama,

I went to the doctor last Thursday for a check up to be sure I am okay, because I have been having this recurring headache. My first tests, urinalysis and CBC, are okay Mama. However, the doctor advised me to have more tests. I hope they are all included in our medical benefits. I will try to get them now, Mama.

It's tough, Mama. Hanging on, pretending to be strong, and all that. I am not complaining. I will make it through. Although sometimes I honestly wished that all of this would end, I know that I still cannot leave the kids. They are not yet ready, I still haven't prepared their future for them. I still have to be here for them. I just wish that sometimes things would get a little bit easier.

That will be all for now, Mama. Sorry to bother you again with this. I hope you understand. It's difficult to go through all these alone. I really wish you're still here. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Dear Mama,

Yesterday we were able to have our summer outing. We went to a resort in Manibaog. Unfortunately, Ralph was not able to join us because he has work yesterday. We spent the whole day there yesterday and went home only at around 9 p.m. It was a nice way to spend the day to relax and forget all the worries for a while, Mama.

Next week will be Angel's enrollment. She will be enrolling in STI, Mama. She will be availing of her scholarship there. I hope she takes her studies seriously as there won't be second chances cause she needs to maintain her grades.

The kids are fine, Mama. They're doing good. Edgar and Angel are having their summer break from school now, and Ralph is busy with his work in Makati.

That will be all for now, Mama. Take care of yourself. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Dear Mama,

The kids and I were able to go on our Visita Iglesia today. We came home at around 11 p.m., but not before treating them to a dinner, even though it's just Jollibee.

Mama, is it okay I prayed about you and Lena. You know her, right? I've been whispering her name to you. I really do not know if something would prosper from this. I just hope so. Otherwise, I don't want to go there again.

I don't think I'm making sense here. I'm sorry, Mama. Maybe I should stop for a while and write you again later. Take care of yourself, Mama. I miss you.

I love you.

Dadd

Dear Mama,

It's Holy Thursday and there's no work today. Time to rest and reflect. Ralph is here, Mama. He went home early yesterday which is good, because he was able to avoid the rush of people going to the provinces. Later tonight, we will be going to have our traditional Visita Iglesia, Mama. I wish you could join us. I wish I could keep this tradition going with the kids. At least they have some family activity they are looking forward to.

It's summer again and you know how Angel is during hot days, she gets very uncomfortable and irritated. The problem is, we have no electric fans at home. I might be able to buy one this Saturday for her. I did not buy yesterday, the last day of malls to be open, because I am still bud getting our money, I hope we can survive until next payday if I buy her one electric fan because she really needs it.

That will be all for now, Mama. Take care of yourself. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy