My first letter for the year...

Dear Mama,

It's already 2009, 2:03 AM. The children are already sleeping. We were able to celebrate the new year, although just quietly. You know we never use firecrackers and other exploding materials to greet the new year.

We were just outside, waiting and watching every fireworks that we see in the sky. But what makes me really happy Mama is that I was able to prepare real food again. I cooked pancit canton and made a chocolate version of the refrigerator cake. I also made chicken sandwhich Mama, and those little hotdogs which we put on toothpicks together with marshmallow and cheese and arranged them on the cabbage just like what you were doing before Mama.

Angel said the pancit canton tasted good. In fact, they ate it all. I thought we can have something left for breakfast. The refrigerator cake was also a surprise for me Mama. I didn't expect it to turn out that way. I'm sure glad Angel prodded me to do it.

Now, I feel tired from all those preparation. But happy nonetheless Mama. I sure hope I can sustain this happiness as I look forward to a better year for us.

Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Happy New Year Mama....

Dear Mama,

It's December 31 6:08 AM, the kids are still asleep. In a few moments we'll be preparing for the coming New Year Mama. I still don't know what to do, although Angel and I already have plans.

We may not have games or a party tonight Mama, but I want to make sure that the kids will have fun tonight.

Anyway, I just want to greet you Mama. Happy New Year. I miss you Mama. Take care.

I love you.


Daddy

2008 is almost over...

Dear Mama,

Christmas is over, and now I'm thinking yet again of what to do for New Year's Eve. But it's not exactly the New Year's eve that I'm afraid about Mama. I know the kids will understand whatever I can come up for the occasion.

But what I'm worried about Mama, is the new year being ushered in. I know it should be bringing me more hope Mama. But the thought of going through another year brings me more anxieties. I just hope it won't catch me in this state.

The kids are fine Mama, although they get bored at home. It's their Christmas vacation.

Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you. I really wish I can be with you soon.

I love you.


Daddy

Post-Christmas party letter

Dear Mama,

Just finished cleaning up after the Christmas party, the kids are all asleep now. It wasn't that bad. We finished early, so we ate early. I did not do the lumpiang shanghai like I told you before, instead I just cooked ground beef, and bought tortilla chips and some dips. I was able to make the 'tiramisu' although I should be buying more fruit cocktail and creams next time.

The party was fun, the children participated and they were very cooperative. Angel danced and recited a poem, Ralph sang and Edgar played the guitar. We had a great time with the games, I thought I would run out of games. Fortunately, there weren't really any lull in between games.

We were happy Mama, because we were able to continue what you started. I wish you have seen us. Take care of yourself Mama. Merry Christmas.

I love you.


Daddy

It's our Christmas party!

Dear Mama,

I just finished preparing the food for our annual Christmas party, we will start in about an hour. It will be our first without you Mama. I made a program for the party and have discussed it with the kids, they also have prepared their numbers for the presentation.

Hope you can join us Mama and watch us as we hold our tradition which you have started. Take care Mama. I miss you.

Merry Christmas Mama. I love you.


Daddy

Not feeling well...

Dear Mama,

I feel sick. My eyes are watery and I am sneezing most of the time. I think I got the flu. I already took medicine Mama. I just hope this won't get worse.

I wish you can touch me tonight.

I guess I have to rest now and continue looking for blogging opportunities tomorrow.

Goodnight Mama. Take care.

I love you.


Daddy

Menu for noche buena

Dear Mama,

It's now December 22, two days to go before the noche buena. I'm still thinking of what to prepare for the kids. I don't want to do the spaghetti again because I want to do something new.

Angel is asking me to make the 'tiramisu' Mama. I still don't know if I can do it. I'm also choosing between the barbeque or lumpiang shanghai. I know I haven't made lumpiang shanghai before, it will be another first for me if ever Mama.

Well, we still don't have any ham, I'm planning to buy one on Wednesday if budget permits. That's all I can think of right now Mama as far as the food is concern. Of course, I'm also discussing the games with Angel for our Christmas party. I also told them to prepare some numbers for the party.

That's all for now Mama. Hope you can join us in our party. Take care Mama. I love you.

I miss you Mama.


Daddy

Waiting for Christmas...

Dear Mama,

I'm waiting for Christmas, not that I want it to come, but I just want it to be over with. I already bought gifts for the kids. Although I'm still thinking how to celebrate the noche buena and our traditional Christmas party.

I hope I can pull this one through Mama, for the sake of the kids.

Pray for me that at least I can make it a happy for them.

Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you. I love you.


Daddy

Not much of a homemaker...

Dear Mama,

As the days passed by, I'm finally realizing how hard it is to maintain the house. Everywhere I look is a mess, including me. I thought I can arrange the house to make it more homey, but I don't even know where to start.

With the noche buena fast approaching, I have been thinking of what to prepare for the kids Mama. Honestly, I can't think of anything.

So far, the only preparation we have done is to draw out names for our exchange gifts. I hope, we can think of something to prepare before Christmas eve comes.

Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you. I love you.


Daddy

About Angel...

Dear Mama,

I haven't written you for sometime, and I admit I did that on purpose. Aside from not having anything really good to say, I'm having those 'episodes' again and I feel so low, lost and lonely. If I write, I might not be able to say anything but rants and whines.

That's why last Monday, I didn't say anything and just greeted you a happy wedding anniversary. Because that was the only good thing I can say then Mama.

Anyway, before I post more rants, this morning Angel and her classmates performed in their school's Songfest. I was able to videotaped them, although I was far so the image are blurred. They performed well, and they are the third runner up. There were 8 groups in the contest.

Next week will be Christmas parties for the kids, Angel, Edgar and perhaps Ralph too even though he is already in college.

That will be all for now Mama. Take care of yourself. I miss you.

I love you Mama.


Daddy

Happy anniversary

Dear Mama,

Today is December 8, our wedding anniversary.

Happy 17th wedding anniversary Mama.

Take care, I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Can you still appreciate the flowers?

Dear Mama,

I've just been to La Pieta today after taking Angel to school. I brought some orchids for you. As I placed the orchids and lighted the candles, I was asking myself if you can still appreciate the flowers.

I know, I haven't brought you much flower when you were still here Mama. And you have forgiven me for that because it was not my style. Now, I try to bring flowers every time I visit you at the cemetery.

Does not make sense, does it Mama? No matter how many roses or orchids I bring, no matter how big a bouquet I may take there, you won't be able to touch nor smell them. But why am I doing it?

Just like these letters, I hope that I can reach to you Mama. I hope that you somehow can see and appreciate them, and see how much I miss you.

I know, I should have brought you more flowers then. I could have held you more often and said I love you. Instead of doing it all today when you can longer hear me and see all these things I'm doing. I'm really sorry Mama. I could have shown you more when you were still here.

I miss you Mama.


Daddy