Thursday, February 19, 2015

Dear Mama,

Good morning. It's 4:00 a.m. now and I do not have work today. It's really funny that I wake up early when I do not have to and wake up late when I need to get up early. Just one of the ironies in my life, Mama. There are lots of ironies happening to me lately, Mama. You know what's one of them? Caring for someone who doesn't really care about me.

If only you're still here, I would not have to go through this thing, Mama. I don't know why these things happen to me.  I'm getting tired of all of this, Mama. Why can't I just go through life taking care of the kids, fulfill my promise to you, and then just rest in peace with you when they are all settled down?

I really do not need anybody, right? I had all the love that I need when you were still still here. That would be enough to last me beyond my lifetime. What's funny is that, I never went out looking.

I don't know, Mama. I'm just getting confused. I'm sorry, I know I'm not making any sense here. I just wish you're still here and none of these need to happen. Maybe I'm just missing you.

I wish you're here, Mama. I love you.