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Wednesday, July 23, 2025

Why am I a failure, Mama?

Dear Mama,

    Why am I such a failure? Why am I a such a big loser, Mama? I am failing in almost everything!

    I failed as a son, I wasn't able to make my parents proud and was not even able to help them financially. In fact, I was even a burden to them even though I was already married and have my own family. They were still supporting me when I lost my job and you were sick, Mama. I did not help them. I burdened them.

    I was a failure as a student. Did not get any honors that might have made Nanay and Tatay proud. I even almost failed in one of my subjects. I barely made it, Mama. 

    I failed as an accountant, a banker, and an employee. I wasn't able to achieve anything. I was not able to make something of my profession. I cannot do anything right, Mama.

    I failed as a Toastmaster. I never became a champion. I failed as an author. Nobody bought my books. I failed as a songwriter. My songs never amounted to anything.

    But most of all, Mama, I failed as a father. I was not able to give our children a decent house they can live in. A safe and peaceful environment they can thrive in. I was not able to provide all their needs, and I was not able to guide them in my life properly because I myself am clueless. I'm such a big failure, Mama. A loser!

    I'm sorry, Mama. I failed.


                                                                                                             Daddy

Monday, July 21, 2025

The rain never stopped

Dear Mama,

    It has been raining continuously since last night. It would pause for a while, and then it would rain again even harder. Typhoon Crising has already left the country and this is just monsoon rain, Mama. Although there is another one coming in, if it's not yet here.

    Ralph has already left for work, Mama. I'm waiting for his message that he has boarded their shuttle bus. He took a trike to the terminal even though it's raining. I hope he'll make it on time and dry. It's already 8:19 p.m. and their shuttle leaves at 8:30 p.m.

    There's loud thunder, Mama. Perhaps there might be some lightning, too although they must be far because I can't hear them. 

    I guess that will be for now, Mama.

    I hope to be with you soon.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.


                                                                                                        Daddy


Friday, July 18, 2025

Another rainy weekend

Dear Mama,

    It will be another rainy weekend for us most probably, as there's a tropical storm. There's no typhoon signal raised yet for our place, but there's been a lot of raining lately, especially in the evening.

    It's Friday, 6:50 p.m. but Ralph has already left for work, Mama. He said he will be meeting his friends at the mall before going to his office later before 9:00 p.m.

    I don't know what to say here, Mama. But I know I wanted to say something. There's a lot inside of me right now, but I don't how to say it. I just wish I can hug right now, Mama.

    I need you.

    

                                                                                                            Daddy


Saturday, July 5, 2025

Rainy Sunday

Dear Mama,

    It's a rainy Sunday morning. It's 8 a.m. and I am done with the laundry, Mama. I had my coffee earlier. Ralph and Angel are sleeping right now. Edgar is already awake, but he is in his room. I think he'll be preparing our brunch in a while, Mama. He already put the left-over rice from the freezer to the table.

    It has been raining almost the whole week, Mama. There were days the sun would shine for the day, although it was still cloudy, and then rain would fall in the evening and overnight. I'm not sure, but there must be a typhoon right now, Mama.

    Yesterday, our siblings had lunch out with Nanay, courtesy of Koya Boy who will be going back to Guam today, Mama. His flight will be this evening.

    Ralph will be having his turn-over for his house anytime soon, Mama. He already paid for the requirements to move in, they are just doing the finishing touches. He is not yet sure, but he is planning to move in to his new house, although he will then be farther from his work.

    I guess that will be all for now, Mama.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.


                                                                                                        Daddy