My knees are now hurting even if I am just walking. I am worried, Mama. Does this mean that I am really old? Running is my only exercise to keep myself healthy and now I cannot even do brisk walking. Why is life like this, Mama? Am I really such a loser?
I will no longer pursue my feelings with Lena, Mama. No matter how much I like, I know I do not have a chance. Besides, as I what is happening to me now, I am really getting old. I might just be a burden to her. She will be the last one, Mama. I will no longer hope for anything. I will just fulfill my promise to you and make sure that the kids are always okay and that they will have a better future. And when I am sure that they are all settled, I will just wait for the time to be with you again.
I am really tired, Mama. I want to rest. I miss you, Mama.
I love you.