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Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Dear Mama,

Hi! School is about to begin in 2-week's time for the kids. Angel is already enrolled. She also bought her notebooks and school uniform. She is really ready, Mama. Our baby is now a college freshman. I hope she'll get focused now on her studies. Edgar is not yet enrolled, his school said he still needs to complete his OJT before he can enroll. He will be finished next week, Mama. After that, he will be able to enroll.

My copies of my book Plethora has finally arrived, Mama. I picked them up from the post office yesterday. It was a great feeling seeing my actual book. It makes me feel like I'm a real writer! Unfortunately, I was only able to order 6 copies and sell the 5. Maybe someday soon, I will be able to order more copies.

Ralph, I guess is doing well, Mama. He is not calling or texting, but I guess he's okay. He has really adopted and adjusted to his independence. I will just let him be, but I will be there if he needs me, Mama.

Well, that will be all for now, Mama. Take care of yourself. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Dear Mama,

Hi! Just winding down and will be resting in a while. Tomorrow is the start of another week. I would like to be optimistic about it, Mama. I'm looking forward for more good things to happen, and I have to thank you for planting all those good seeds when you were still here. Soon, everything will be perfect for me and the kids. I just you were still here with us, everything would have been better if only you were here.

I'm sorry, Mama. I just can't help it sometimes. I will be resting in a while. Take care of yourself, Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Dear Mama,

I have some good news today. Nanay said she went to the doctor and all her laboratory test results are normal now. The doctor said she can now eat anything she wants. I reminded her though that it should still be in moderation. It's a happy news, Mama. I'm really happy that Nanay is okay. I hope God continues to bless her and keep her strong and healthy.

There is another songwriting contest, Mama. I know I will not have a chance again, but I know I will still join again even if I have doubts about the manner they choose. I hope the someday that I have been waiting for will be this one. Wishful thinking again, Mama.

Well, that's all I have to say now, Mama. I don't want to ruin this happy letter with my endless whining again. Take care of yourself, Mama. I really miss you.

I love you, Mama.


Daddy

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Dear Mama,

Happy anniversary!

Today could have been our 29th year since the first day you said yes to me, albeit reluctantly. I still remember that night. You were nervous. I was nervous too. Maybe more nervous and more frightened than you. I was thinking of the worst - that you might get mad or you would say no.

But hesitantly, you said yes. I know you only said that then because you were afraid that you might not be able to get home, and your purpose was just to help me nurse a broken heart, and that you'll leave me soon as I recover. 

As fate would have it, I was able to make you stay longer than you intended to. I know I may not be the best boyfriend in the world, but in my own little way, I made sure I would be able to make you feel how much you meant to me and showed you the love that you deserved. I know, I could have done more... I wish I could have done more.

Thank you for giving me that chance, Mama. The chance that no one else has ever given me, and no one will ever give me. I'm sorry for my failures and shortcomings. 

I wish you were still here so we can celebrate this 29th year together. Happy anniversary, Mama! Thank you very much for everything. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Dear Mama,

I went to La Pieta this afternoon to run, and of course to visit you. I planned on making 4 rounds but I managed to make only 3. On my last round, I just walked. I don't know why, Mama. I did not have the strength nor the zest to run. I cannot help but think of what I mentioned to you in my previous letter.

Maybe I deserve that. Maybe I may not be aware of it, but I am really a bad person. Or I am really monster-ugly that I scare people away. Whatever, as much as I do not want to be affected, it bothers me, Mama. It's hurting me. I'm sorry.

I wish you were here, Mama. None of this would happen to me if only you were here. I really wish you were here, Mama. I need you.


Daddy

Dear Mama,

Ralph came home last night at around 11:30 p.m., straight from Tagaytay. He went there with his high school friends. His best friend came from the U.S. and it was a sort of reunion trip for them. I told him just to get off in Makati so he can rest. He still went home last night. He returned to Makati this morning, but not after buying 2 electric fans, 1 each for Angel and Edgar. I'm glad they will not have to tolerate the summer heat, especially Angel.

Mama, can I tell you something? She blocked me. I just learned this morning that she blocked me from her Instagram account. I don't why, I did not anything wrong, Mama. I was just able to view her account last night, but today it was already set to private. I know, it will follow on her other social media accounts. It hurts, Mama. 

Sorry, I'm just venting out. Don't worry Mama, I won't take it on anyone. Everything will be just the same. I've been through this before, it's not the first time. I will just focus on my work, my writing, and the kids. Everything will be okay, Mama. I promise.

Until my next letter, Mama. Take care of yourself. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.


Daddy


Friday, May 15, 2015

Dear Mama,

We just got home. The kids and I went to Jollibee to eat dinner. I took them out just to break the routine at home. You know, always thinking of what to eat and always ending up buying cook food from a nearby carinderia. We could use some bonding moment anyway.

Mama, I bought rubber shoes this afternoon. I hope it's okay. I need them so I can continue with my running, even if my knees are hurting. It is my only exercise right now, and it's the only thing I can really do. Although most of the time, I do more walking than running. But it is still an exercise.

She still did not acknowledge me, Mama. Am I that bad of a man to be given the cold shoulders? I know, it's clear as the sun - she doesn't want to have anything to do with me, but should she really treat me this way? 

I'm sorry, Mama. I just do not have anyone here to talk to right now. I'll be fine, don't worry Mama. 

Take care of yourself now. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Dear Mama,

Hi! Just finished eating dinner, and I am resting for a while before I go to sleep. Nothing much happening to us now, Mama. Just the same home-work-home routine. Nothing exciting, it's just like getting the day over with just to face the next day doing the same. Oh well, at least I'm surviving.

I really do not have much to say now, Mama. The kids are okay. Ralph is in Makati, Edgar is having his OJT and Angel is getting more independent. In less than 3 weeks, it will be back to school for the  2 kids.

I wanted to say something but I don't know what it is, Mama. Anyway, forget it. Maybe it's not important that is why i forgot it. I hope I could see in my dreams soon, Mama. I miss you.

I love you, Mama.


Daddy