Dear Mama,

We were able to celebrate your birthday yesterday. I let the kids go ahead while I bought some food and brought it to Nanay in Sta. Teresita so they could feel the celebration as well, then I met the kids at Marquee Mall.

We were there at around 3:30 p.m., since the buffet dinner will start at 5 p.m., we just roamed around the mall, looking for something buy. Ralph and his girlfriend bought some toys for their godchildren,  while Edgar and Angel bought personal stuff. You know, the kind of things that they do not really need but for some reason they think they do. Then we went to Timezone where they played table hockey. Angel actually wanted to sing in the KTV booth, Mama. Unfortunately, none was available then.

We then went to Yakimix, 10 minutes before 5 and just waited until they opened and called the names of those with reservations. What's funny was everyone was all gathering near the door, literally blocking the way, as if it was on a first come, first serve basis. When they started calling, of course, we were the first one to be called since I always make reservations one week in advance. 

The kids enjoyed the meal and the time spent there, Mama. Edgar, who was actually the one who requested that we go back to Yakimix, spent most of the time grilling food. Angel just ate some sushi and immediately started with the desserts. Ralph, well you know him Mama, almost everything. Since it was Marnelle's birthday (Ralph's girlfriend), the personnel there sang, and danced, happy birthday for her.

After Yakimix, we went to back to Timezone to see if there are already KTV boots available. Angel really wanted to sing, Mama. Fortunately, the big booths are already available then and they were able to sing a few songs. We spent almost an hour inside the booth, Mama. Angel wanted to stay longer but Ralph's card has insufficient balance already. Then we went home, Mama.

All in all, it was a great time. It's getting rare, and expensive, this bonding moments when the kids are all complete. Soon I know, it will become rarer, Mama. Edgar will be graduating next year, and then Angel will have her priorities. I'm already preparing myself, Mama.

Anyway, it was a great time. I wish you were with us. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Dear Mama,

Happy birthday!

We celebrate another birthday without you. Nothing can make your absence more pronounced like special occasions. Next week we will be having our wedding anniversary, and again we will celebrate without you, then of of course it will be Christmas and New Year.

I have been blessed lately and I know this is all because of the good seeds you planted, Mama. But all these blessings would have been more meaningful if you are still here with me. I could have made you happier... I could have taken care of you better... I could have shown you what you really deserve, Mama.

Life can be cruel and ironic sometimes, it has deprived us when we needed it most. Of course, I cannot complain now and I'm thankful for the blessings that come our way. I just wish.... 

Oh well, happy birthday Mama. I miss you.

I love you.

Daddy

Dear Mama,

I'm alone at home again today, and it's Friday night. Angel went out earlier, she said they will be having a practice for their mass dance for the upcoming sports fest, Edgar is still in school but he'll be home in a while, it's almost 8 p.m.

Got really nothing to tell for updates, Mama. I'm just excited for Sunday when we go out to celebrate your birthday. The 3 kids will be complete, and we will be eating out. We'll be roaming around the mall before we eat, Mama. Maybe we would buy some gifts for Christmas. 

I will be planning for the Christmas party again, and I do not know what to prepare again. Maybe I will go again with spaghetti, or maybe nachos and dips. I don't know, Mama. I'm still not use to planning, I always stress myself every time this season comes.

Anyway, that will be all for now, Mama. Until my next letter. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Dear Mama,

I almost bought a badminton racquet today. Almost, because while I was on a jeepney on the way to the sports store, I received a text message from Edgar. He said they will be going to Manila tomorrow to make reservations for the review school they will be enrolling next year after they graduate. Of course, that means he will be needing money to pay for the reservations, and also his transportation and food allowance for the trip. It's a good thing I have not reached my destination yet, Mama otherwise I would have spent the money. Naturally, I did not proceed because Edgar's review is more important. I can always buy that racquet some other day.

It's a good thing that Edgar and his friends are already preparing for their review, Mama. Actually, I have been nagging him, in a subtle way, every now and then if they are already planning and looking for review school and a place to stay while they are reviewing. Every time he would answer they have already discussed it in passing. At least now, they are doing something about it. I hope they will have a safe trip tomorrow, Mama. Please guide our son on his travel.

That will be all for now, Mama. Angel is fine, haven't heard from Ralph so that means he must be fine too. I can't wait for weekend to come because we will be spending time together again, the kids and I, and celebrate your birthday, Mama. I really wish you were still with us, it would have been a merrier celebration. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Dear Mama,

I just finished ironing the uniforms of the kids for next week, although I might iron again sometime midweek because they only have 3 sets of uniforms each. In a while we will be having our dinner, Mama. It will just be canned tuna for now.

I'm tired, Mama. I want to rest. I want to hold your hands and embrace you. I miss you,  Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Dear Mama,

We just arrived home from Sta. Teresita where we celebrated Koya Fel and Ate Vangie's birthday. Ralph was with us, he came home last night. He will leave for Makati tomorrow but he'll be back next weekend so we can celebrate your birthday.

Mama, I feel so down and sad right now. My song lost again in the songwriting contest. It looks like I will never really make it. Maybe I should stop dreaming about it and not even attempt joining any of those songwriting contests again. I'm no musician. I will never make it. I'm only making a fool  of myself.

I really wish I can hug you right now, Mama. I need you. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Dear Mama,

Angel feels better now. She was already okay this morning but I did not let her go to school, that is why I did not work too lest she might go to school once I leave. Anyway, I already told the office that I will not work today. I just want to make sure that she's okay. Thank you very much for taking care of her, Mama. I knew it was you. Thank you for still looking after us.

I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Dear Mama,

Angel is sick. She arrived home from school this afternoon and said she's not feeling well. Our Angel has fever, Mama. She got stressed on the first week of classes. I told her not to go to school tomorrow and rest, I also will not be going to work tomorrow so I can look after her, Mama.

Earlier, she said she was cold. I prepared soup for her, Mama. After eating, she felt better... or at least, better that how she was when she arrived earlier. She's resting now, Mama. We still haven't taken our dinner yet. I'm still cooking, and I guess we will be waiting for Edgar too.

Please help me take care of Angel, Mama. Help me make her well.

Thank you, Mama.

I miss you and I love you.

Daddy

Dear Mama,

I just received a text message from Ralph that he has already boarded a bus. He left for Makati today after lunch. It's a good thing he was able to immediately get on a bus in Dau, you know how it is there on Sundays. That is why he is leaving early even if it is still hot.

I cooked tinola for lunch today, Mama. Angel has been requesting for it, and Ralph is here so I thought it will be a good time to cook. I think I did pretty well, Mama. The kids liked it, Angel said it's good. Of course, it is still far from how you cooked, Mama, but it's not bad. I wish I can cook more food for them.

Ralph will be back on the month-end so we can celebrate your birtday, Mama. We might just go out, the kids and I. Edgar is requesting that we go back to Yakimix and the two are inclined to agree with him, so I guess that is where we will be, Mama. It's just too sad celebrating a birthday when the celebrant is not around. Wish you could be with us.

I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Dear Mama,

We just arrived home, the kids and I. The three kids, that is. Ralph came home this morning. We went out after lunch and doing some chores. First we went to Jenra and Nepo Mall, then we proceeded to Marquee Mall where we stayed until evening.

We also had our dinner there, Mama. We had a great time. It's rare that we are complete like this, that is why I cherish these moments, Mama. Too bad, our kids aren't the type that like taking pictures, but it's okay. I will always remember watching them talking to each other and teasing each other. I hope they will stay that way even when I am gone, Mama.

Well, that's it for now, Mama. I just wanted to tell you what we did today. I wish you were with us, it could have been more fun. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Dear Mama,

Good morning. It's another weekend. I don't know how to make this another worthwhile and memory-worthy weekend for the kids, Mama. I am not sure if Ralph will be coming today or not. Edgar will be going to school this morning, and Angel said she would like to rest and sleep today. I hope I can do some cleaning today so I can prepare the house for Christmas.

That's all I have to say right now, Mama. Still too lazy to prepare for the day.

I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Dear Mama,

I wish I can tell our kids everything that I want to tell them... and still accept me.

I wish, Mama.. I wish.

Daddy

Dear Mama,

We just arrived home, Edgar, Angel, and I. We went to SM Clark this afternoon to buy a bag for Angel. Actually, that was our only purpose. I told Angel that we will just buy her bag and then we will go home and we won't be eating out. 

Unfortunately, I cannot always hold my word on that. Knowing that this moment have become so rare lately, and will be more scarce in the days to come, I do not want to go home without treating them, even if it's just my last money. I can always do something about that, but I will not be able to bring back the opportunity to spend more time with them again.

Anyway, it was worth it, Mama. I don't regret breaking my budget for them. Unfortunately, again, there are no pictures to capture the moment. Our kids are not the type who want to take photo of their every move. But I don't mind, I will always have the memories.

Well, that's it for now, Mama. Tomorrow's Monday and Angel's first day for the second semester. 

Good night, Mama. I miss you.

I love you, Mama.

Daddy

Dear Mama,

Sorry I have not written to you for the whole week. I just do not have anything new  to say. Angel's class have not started yet last week, they will start this coming week. Edgar's started last week but it seems there's no regular  classes yet as they already have an activity on the first week of class.

Edgar is not here right now, he left this afternoon at around 4 p.m. He'll be coming back tomorrow. He and his classmates will go to the house of one of their friends who will be celebrating his birthday. I just let him socialize lest he will be anti-social and friendless like me.

It's just Angel and I right now. She is cleaning her room, it's already 6 p.m. and she is not yet finished. She started late, Mama. Actually, she started just before 4 p.m. when I nagged her to clean her room. She has so many clutters and she does not want me to touch anything, otherwise I could have cleaned her room for her. 

I'm just waiting for the rice to be cooked. I'm not yet sure if we'll be having an early dinner or a late one. Depends on the mood of Angel, if she wants to finish her chore or if she wants to eat dinner first. 

That's about it, Mama. Ralph is in Makati and he'll be coming home next weekend. I plan to take them out on your birthday, Mama. How I wish you could join us. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Dear Mama,

We just arrived home, Angel, Edgar, and I. We went out and walked to McDonalds in Highway for sundae ice cream. Depression is getting to be expensive, Mama. I took the kids out so I would forget how I feel, and at same time spend some time with them. It was nice, talking to the kids sans the gadgets. I just wish I can tell them everything that's happening inside me.

That will be all for now, Mama. Lest I will tell you again how I wish you were here.

I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy