I'm trying my best

Dear Mama

I'm trying my best, but it's really difficult to fake strong. But I'm trying my best, Mama. I don't want to worry Angel, because she needs me to be strong. 

I'm trying my best, Mama. 

I want to go home

Dear Mama

I want to go home and be with you. I think of it often, and there were times I was so close to going home. But I can't do it, especially in this time, because Angel has no one here with her except me. Ralph and Edgar still cannot come here because of the situation. 

But I'm tired, Mama. I really want to go home and rest with you.

Hold me, Mama. 

Daddy 

Hanging on

Dear Mama

Everyday seems to bring a different level of anxiety. Angel and I are doing fine, Mama. Ralph seems to have adapted to his situation, and Edgar said he is okay. But I know, everything is not okay, Mama.

Getting the things that we need is becoming harder with new restrictions being implemented almost everyday. I don't know how we will be able to survive on a long term, or how I can stay sane with all these things happening around us. I'm trying to keep myself busy to be distracted from all these things, but somehow it's not successful.

But I will keep on hanging on, Mama. I will try my best.

I miss you, Mama.

I love you


Daddy

My latest book

Dear Mama,

I just finished proofreading my latest book. I finished writing it last month, but I reviewed and proofread it just to be sure. Still, I am not sure if I did not miss anything. I have submitted it to the publisher for approval, Mama. I hope it meets their standards and approve it for publishing.

I'm excited for it, Mama. It's my first Tagalog book. I hope you're proud of me, Mama.

I wish you were here and I'm saying all these things to you in person.

I miss you, Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

24 hour lockdown

Dear Mama

I am getting weak. I am trying my best to stay strong and composed, but I don't know how much longer I can hold on.

A 24-hour curfew has been imposed in our city, Mama. And there are no proper guidelines how we can go out to buy our needs.

I'm afraid things might even get worse.

I'm confused, Mama. I'm tired and I'm feeling weak.

Medicine is out of stock

Dear Mama,

I went out this afternoon to go to the drugstore and buy my medicine for BP maintenance. Unfortunately, it's out of stock. It has always been that way since last week, my supply at home is running out. I resorted to generic for a while, Mama. At least while it is out of stock. I hope I won't have any problem.

It looks like Edgar might not be able to go home, Mama. Last week, he said he will be going home soon. Because there was supposed to be a delivery of some parts to them today, April 14, from their office here, and he will go with them when they come back here. Apparently, the delivery was moved to an indefinite date, and so is his chance to go home. But he said he is doing fine there, Mama.

Ralph, is still in Pasig, by his lonesome at the dorm. Sometimes, he is able to buy food from the carinderia in front of their dorm. Although there are times that it is closed, especially on weekends. I hope he will be able to stock up on food and medicines, Mama.

Angel and I are doing well here. Saved for the anxiety brought about by this situation, we are doing fine. I am coping, been doing a lot to divert myself from this anxiety. Sometimes I'm successful, sometimes I'm not. It's not really the lockdown's fault. I have been anxious about a lot of things even before this started. Of course, you know that, Mama.

But I'm really getting tired, Mama. I wish I can be with you soon.

I miss you, Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Extended

Dear Mama,

The quarantine has been extended until end of the month. It is just fine with Angel and I, but I am worried about Ralph, Mama. Because it means he will be alone longer in his dorm, without much resources. Lately, he's been calling often. I guess because he is really anxious of getting trapped there. He also has been feeling lots of pain lately. Last Sunday he had a terrible headache, which got me concerned because he was crying in pain over the phone. This week, his gout has been punishing him more often. Help me, Mama. Please take care of Ralph while he is alone there. There's nothing I can do for him. I feel so useless and helpless, Mama. 

Edgar said he is scheduled to return home on the 14th. That will be next  week, Mama. There will be a delivery of parts to them, and he said he will go back with delivery team when they return. I hope that will be true and I that he won't have any problem going inside Angeles and Marisol.

Angel is fine, Mama. She's been doing more cooking lately, and helping me with the dishes during weekdays. She was supposed to apply for a job, unfortunately she was caught by this lockdown. 

I am trying to keep myself together, Mama. This pandemic has blown my anxiety sky high, but I'm trying to ignore it. I hope I can hold on longer, Mama.

I need to hold your hand and hug you, Mama. I miss you. I wish you're here with me now. 

I love you. 

Daddy