Back to the gutter

Dear Mama,

    It's Sunday, October 27, and still 3 days before payday. I am down to my last P100 in my wallet, Mama which I will use later to buy cat food. Good thing I just walk to and from work, Mama. Hopefully it won't rain tomorrow, although there's another typhoon coming in today, if it hasn't entered the PAR yet.

    Angel is on her way to the vet, she was asking for money to pay for the Grab. Unfortunately, as I've said I'm down to my last 100 which is already reserved for the cat. Ralph will again pay for the consultation to the vet, which he will pay later via GCash.

    It's Ate Tey's birthday today, and there'll be dinner  later at Sta. Teresita. We'll go there, although I won't have anything to give to Ate Tey. I'll just say I'll give it to her on payday. I am not sure though if Angel will be coming with us later, Mama. You know how she always avoids coming with us on occasions like this. It doesn't matter which family side it is.

    I don't know how I will be able to recover financially, Mama. It's like I'm back in the gutter. I don't want to burden Ralph, especially now that he is in-between jobs. I hope things will be better for us soon.

    Anyway, that will be all for now, Mama.

    I miss you.

    I love you, Mama

                                                                                                Daddy

Rainy days

Dear Mama,

    It's raining right now, there's a typhoon and they named it Kristine. I think we are under Signal no. 2 right now, Mama. It's Thursday, and tomorrow, Friday is Fiestang Apu and also the Tigtikan Terakan King Dalan (TTKD). But it's raining and it might probably rain until tomorrow, or Saturday. There's a possibility the TTKD will be rained on.

    Angel is out right now, Mama. She went with her cousins from your side of the family. It's her first time to be with them alone. I'm glad they invited her, because Angel needs to go out. She only goes out when we go out, Mama. She still hasn't found a job yet, although she's actively applying.

    Ralph still hasn't been hired yet. He's been going through a lot interviews but nothing has materialized from those interviews yet. I really hope he gets hired soon. I know that feeling of being jobless. Good thing he is more psychologically and mentally healthier than me, Mama. But I do pray he gets a job soon.

    Edgar seems to be doing fine in his present job right now, or he's just making good use of his time there. If he might be looking for other opportunity, he's not actively pursuing it right now. Sometimes he says he wants to grow with the company, Mama.

    Me? Still in limbo. Trying my best to make both ends meet, and my debts are piling up again, Mama. And yes, still getting those anxiety attacks from everything I hear in my environment.

    Anyway, that will be all for now, Mama. I hope I can hug you right now. I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                        Daddy

Losing sight, figuratively speaking

Dear Mama,

    I'm almost losing sight of everything, figuratively speaking. Although my eyesight isn't really that good either.

    I don't know what's happening, Mama. It seems like I'm losing hope of everything and I'm just dragging myself day in and day out. There is nothing good happening to us lately, Mama.

    Financially, I am depleted. I am not even living paycheck to paycheck, Mama because I am always having a deficit. And every period is bigger that the last one, thus  I feel my financial woes accumulating.

    Physically, I don't know. I get tired easily. I get irritated easily. I don't know, Mama. It's like I'm getting back to my old self, or perhaps even worse.

    I have also disconnected from almost everything - Toastmasters, batchmates, friends, companions. I no longer want to be associated with anything.

    I don't know, Mama. I've lost zest. I've lost my drive. And it's the longest I've felt like this. I don't know if I can still recover.

    I'm sorry, Mama. I wish you were here.

                                                                                                        Daddy

Home alone

Dear Mama,

    I am home alone right now. The kids went to attend the baptismal of their niece. It will be in Manila and they will  be there overnight. They'll be back home tomorrow, afternoon or early evening most probably, Mama.

    I will just be cleaning up the laundry basket until tomorrow, Mama. Hopefully, that is.

    Nothing much to say. I don't have any plans, I might go out for coffee, or I might just sleep in early, Mama.

    That will be all for now, Mama. 

    I miss you. I love you, Mama.

        

                                                                                                    Daddy

Happy Teacher's Day!

Dear Mama,

    Happy Teacher's Day!

    If you were only here, I know you will be celebrated by a lot of students who love you. That's because you were such a good and kind teacher, Mama. Even to this day, when a former student of yours would recognize me, or would learn that I am your husband, they would approach me and they only have good words for you. Probably, you are now teaching little cherubim in heaven, Mama. 

    I wish you were here, Mama.

    Ralph still hasn't found a new job, but he's searching, Mama. He is applying left and right, and have attended a lot of interviews already. Hopefully he'll find a company that not only will pay him well, but will help him grow and succeed professionally.

    I really wanted to say a lot, Mama. But it's your day. I don't want to ruin it. Happy Teacher's Day, Mama!

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                        Daddy