Worried about Ralph

Dear Mama,

    It's 8:20 p.m. as I start this letter on a Tuesday evening. We already had our dinner, Mama. Ralph is resting and will be preparing for work in a while. I'm worried about him, Mama. He seems to be sick. He's wearing a sweater when it's so hot right now. He must have fever that's why he's feeling cold, Mama. He must have gotten tired last Saturday when he went to Manila straight from his work to meet his friends and former officemates. I asked him if he'll be able to work tonight and he said yes and he will work. I hope he'll be fine, Mama.

    Edgar isn't actually well, too Mama. He has a headache. It must be due to the intense heat today. It's already evening and it's still hot, Mama. I advised him to take medicines. His arms is healing, Mama. Although I always remind him that it is not yet well. Because he might forget, get carried away, and carry heavy objects, Mama.

    I guess that will be all for now, Mama. Angel and I are fine. Although Angel wasn't feeling well when she woke up this afternoon, but she's better now.

    I wish you're here with us now, Mama. I miss you.

    I love you, Mama.

                                                                                            Daddy

Just hi

Dear Mama,

    I want to write a letter, but I don't know what to say. I mean, what to say that won't burden you. You should be resting already and I should not be bothering you.

    It's Saturday evening, almost midnight. Edgar is not yet home, Mama. He is out with his officemates. He attended a birthday party and his last message was they went out for coffee. He'll probably be home in a while, Mama.

    I'm waiting for the arrangement of my latest song that I will release for my birthday, Mama. I'm spending money again for my whims. I'm sorry, Mama. This will be the last one. After this, I will stop spending on my songs.

    That's all I can say for now, Mama. I really just wanted to say hi. I miss you, Mama. I wish I can hug you right now.

    I love you.

                                                                                                     Daddy

Anxiety attack... again

Dear Mama,

    I'm having anxiety attack again. I don't like this, Mama. When I feel like this, it seems like something will go wrong. Or worse, everything will go wrong.

    I'm so tired of feeling this, Mama. I want this to stop. Help me.

                                                                                                        Daddy

Happy Easter, Mama!

Dear Mama,

    Happy Easter!

    It's Easter Sunday, Mama and it's also the last day of the very long weekend. We did not go out during the long break, Mama. We just stayed home. I slept and was doom scrolling most of time, save for a few laundry and other house chores, I don't think it was productive break on my part, Mama. I was not even able to clean the clutters I planned on cleaning. 

    If it was any consolation, I was able to release my second song on Spotify, Mama. Which of course meant I spent money again on my crazy dream. I don't even know if it's worth it, Mama. I'm happy that I was able to release my song, but I also feel guilty for wasting money. It felt like I was so selfish, Mama. And to add to that, I don't even get streamed much, Mama. Just like my books on Amazon, nobody notices my creations. What do I expect? I am not famous.

    Anyway, that's all for now, Mama. I don't know if we'll go out later. I'm not sure, Mama. But it's too hot right now. Summer is really here.

    Until my next letter, Mama. I miss you.

    I love you, Mama.

                                                                                                    Daddy

First day of the Holy Week break

Dear Mama

    It's Thursday, 8:30 a.m. here and it's the first day of our Holy Week break. For Edgar and I, at least because Ralph still have work until Friday. He just arrived from work, Angel is preparing our breakfast, or most probably, brunch, and Edgar is still sleeping in his room, Mama.

    I received the final mixed copy of my second song this morning. It might have been sent late last night, but I just saw it this morning. I will be uploading it today on my Distrokid account, Mama. Hopefully, it will be live on Spotify tomorrow. The title of the song is Table For One. An English song this time. The first one I uploaded, Ingat Ka, was Tagalog.

    We have no plans for the Holy Week break, Mama. Probably we'll just stay home. Primarily because Ralph don't have a break. It's regular working day for them for the whole week. I'm looking forward to some cleaning and decluttering. I also plan to learn more about music production. That is if the procrastinator within don't get the better of me again, Mama.

    That's all for now, Mama. I'm excited for the breakfast being prepared by Angel. Wish you're here and join us. I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                            Daddy

Angel's second day of cooking

 

Dear Mama,

    It's the second day, or night, that Angel cooked our dinner. She cooked fried pork liempo, Mama. I must say their quite good. They are crispy and well cooked. Better than what I usually come up with when I fry pork, Mama. 

    I had dinner late, though. I went out before 7 p.m. and came home around 8 p.m. Angel and Ralph are already finished taking their dinner when I arrived, and they just left some for me and Edgar, who also came home late. I went to the recording studio to record my second song for Spotify, Mama. I spent money again for my whim. I'm sorry.

    Ralph is now preparing to go to work, Mama. Edgar came home around 9 p.m. He had a meeting that is connected with his being a financial advisor.

    Tomorrow is our last day of work before we take our Holy Week break, Mama. We have no plans because Ralph have to work even on Maundy Thursday and Good Friday because he is handling an American client in his work.

    I that will be all for now, Mama. I miss you.

    I love you, Mama.

                                                                                                    Daddy

Angel cooked our dinner tonight

Dear Mama,

    I just finished washing the dishes and Ralph is now preparing for work. Angel cooked our dinner tonight, Mama. She cooked nilagang baboy and it was good. Nobody helped her in the kitchen, Mama. Probably she asked Edgar for the procedures or she searched for it on the Internet. She said she also prepared a list of food she'll be preparing for the week. Yes, Mama, Angel will be cooking for the whole week. Edgar cannot cook yet because we don't want him to strain his left arm which is not yet fully healed, Mama. That is probably the reason why Angel volunteered to cook. It's just Monday, let's see if she really can cook for the whole week.

    I already received the second song I asked to be arranged, Mama. Tomorrow, I'll be recording the vocals, and have it mixed so I can release it the soonest. Am I stupid to want to release my original songs, Mama? I know I don't really have a good singing voice, but I have no choice. I have no one to sing my songs. If only my voice was as beautiful as yours, Mama.

    Anyway, that's all the update I have for now, Mama. I wish I can hug you right now. I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                                Daddy

Celebrated Edgar's birthday

Dear Mama,

    We celebrated Edgar's birthday via staycation in Oasis Hotel. We checked in yesterday courtesy of Ralph. I was hesitant about it because I was worried about the house, the cats, and the expenses involved. But all our three children really wanted it, Mama, especially Angel. So, I have no choice but to just let them, and I thought I also need that rest. I was still worried about the house, Mama but I really tried my best to distract myself.

    Edgar and I played billiard in afternoon, afterwards we took a dip in the pool, Mama. Ralph joined us rather late in the afternoon, while Angel slept in the room. In the evening we went out to eat and we had samgyupsal, Mama, and then we went to Starbucks before we went back to our room to sleep.

    This morning, we had our breakfast in Maranao and rested in our room again before we checked out at 12 noon. We then went home and again slept for the rest of the afternoon. We had dinner at home courtesy of Edgar who ordered food delivery. Edgar also received a cake from his supervisor in insurance, and had it after dinner, Mama.

    And that was all about Edgar's birthday celebration, Mama. I wasn't able to share in the expenses because I had no more money since I paid for a Tablet as my gift for Edgar. It would have been a happier celebration if you were here, Mama. We miss you.

    I love you, Mama.

                                                                                                    Daddy

Almost Edgar's Birthday

Dear Mama,

    A few days more and it will Edgar's birthday. They are planning to have a staycation, Mama. I'm a bit skeptic, and at the same time embarrassed or feeling awkward, Mama because I cannot share in the expenses. I'm also worried about Ralph's finances because he's been shouldering most of the expenses during our R&R. I hope I can have a windfall or something so I can help him, Mama.

    We had quite a few struggles last weekend, Mama. First Edgar's gout made its presence felt last Saturday, and he couldn't walk. Worse, he was outside when it manifested itself. He had to take a Grab car on the way home, Mama. Then Angel, for reason we don't know, was chilling last Sunday afternoon. Edgar called me and said Angel was shivering in his room where she took a nap. It wasn't even cold that day, Mama. I doubled her blanket, gave her paracetamol, put another jacket on top of her blankets, and also gave her the heat pad, until she finally calmed down and fell asleep. Later that evening, it was like nothing even happened, Mama.

    Meanwhile, Ralph is still having his cough and asthma attack. Last night, he was suddenly having difficulty breathing again he had to take his inhaler twice. He didn't even do anything that would cause him to get tired, Mama. Me, on the other hand, had another anxiety attack last night. I did not even know what caused it, Mama. I felt cold, almost feverish, and I can't relax. I cannot even stay still. It took a while before it subsided, Mama. And I still had no idea why it happened.

    Aside from those that I mentioned, it was as usual for us, Mama, together with the cats inside and outside the house. So, that will be all for now, Mama. I wish you were here. I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                Daddy

Second day of long weekend

Dear Mama,

    It's Saturday morning, the second day of 3-day weekend. Ralph is on his way home from work, Mama. Probably, he'll be here anytime now. He has work because their company does not observe Philippine holiday, although they can avail of the day off on a different day, which makes it flexible for him.

    Just finished some cleaning, Mama. Thinking of what to do to make this weekend productive instead of just doom-scrolling. I'm planning to learn arranging and mixing songs, Mama. Although the problem with that is, while I may learn how to use the software for the job, it will still take a good ear to make sure the finish product is good. And I am tone-deaf, Mama. Oh well, let's just see if it's doable.

    Angel is still sleeping. She might wake up once Ralph arrive so she can have her breakfast. Edgar is tending to his plants. He's still wearing his arm sling, Mama. He takes it off every now and then.

    So far, that's the update for today, Mama. I wish you were still here.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                        Daddy

Just another update

Dear Mama,

    It's Thursday evening and we just had our dinner. Edgar is not yet home, Mama. He and his officemates went to Clark Parade Ground for picnic. It's holiday tomorrow, so they decided it's okay to go out late tonight. Ralph will be preparing for work in a while, and Angel is doing the dishes tonight, Mama.

    Slowly, we are getting our life back on track, Mama, whatever that life is. Edgar is better now, although he is still wearing his arm sling because his fractured bones hasn't healed yet. And because he isn't capable yet, he cannot cook and we are always on deliveries, ready-to-eat food, and take outs. It's a bit expensive but I really cannot cook anymore, Mama. I'm no longer confident in the kitchen because Edgar had been doing the cooking.

    Ralph, I believe, is getting comfortable in his new company now. I hope he's taking his responsibility seriously. Because he is a company officer now, Mama. I'm praying he is not too kind that he'll be taken advantaged of, nor too strict that he'll be resented. I hope he'll get your wisdom when handling situations and conflicts, Mama.

    Angel is busy with the cats and kittens, both the strays and the ones inside the house. She's the one looking after them, Mama. She's also helping with the house chores since we've been back from the hospital, Mama. As I've mentioned earlier, she's doing the dishes.

    As for me, nothing much, Mama. My song on Spotify isn't really getting much streams. Not surprising of course, since I am really a nobody when it comes to this industry. But what's funny, Mama is that I am planning on releasing my second single soon. I just sent my song to my arranger, and when they send the arranged backing track, I will immediately do the vocals recording so I can release it as soon as possible. Either last week of March or first week of April, Mama. Then on my birthday in May, I'm planning to release my third song. Hopefully, this will all happen, Mama.

    Well, that will be all for now, Mama. I wish you're still here with us. I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                    Daddy

Edgar is back to work

Dear Mama,

    Edgar returned to work today. We were actually discouraging him, since it's already Friday and told him to go back on Monday instead. But he still went through, Mama. His initial plan was to take a Grab car to work and also later going home, but he changed his mind when Ralph reminded him his daily rate is less than his total fare for the Grab car to and from work. So, he took the jeepney instead. I was worried because his left shoulder is still in pain, but I checked on him and he said he arrived to work safe.

    He'll be having his birthday again soon, Mama. It's unfortunate though that he had an accident in his birth month. Still I'm glad he's alive and recuperating from his injuries. Praying that will be his last accident. He might not be with us on his birthday, Mama. He said his officemates are planning to go to Baguio on his birthday weekend and he wanted to join them. Of course, I won't stop him. He's old enough to make his own decisions.

    I guess that will be all for now, Mama. I just want to update on Edgar's condition.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                        Daddy

Hell week

Dear Mama,

    It was a hell of a week that we had. After Nanay's birthday on Monday last week, our son Edgar had an accident in his motorcycle on his way to work the next day, Tuesday. The rescue team of CDC called me on the phone to tell me about Edgar's accident, and that they took him to ONA, where I proceeded after the call. I was already in my work then, Mama, but I asked to be excused because of the emergency.

    When I reached the hospital, Edgar was crying in pain, Mama. He cannot move his body, his arms and back aches, and he has a lot of wounds on his hands and legs. They had to stitch his wound on his knee. His x-ray showed he had some fractured ribs and fractured shoulder plate. His CT Scan, fortunately, showed no damage in his brain. But he had to transferred to JBL in San Fernando, Mama. Because the nurse in ONA said they do not have the facility to handle his case. Using their ambulance, they took us to JBL where Edgar was admitted from Tuesday last week, until today, Tuesday.

    You know how it is in public hospitals, Mama. And I think it has gotten worse. Because they think they are doing their routine work, but they are not actually taking care of the patients. Imagine while we were in the room, no doctor has seen us nor talked to us. The only doctor we saw was in the ER before he was transferred to the ward. And to see that doctor, we had to wait until 1 a.m. of Wednesday. We were at the ER at around 11 a.m. of Tuesday, Mama.

    We were supposed to be discharged last Sunday afternoon, but the doctor who was supposed to sign Edgar's papers did not come. We waited the whole day of Monday, but still the doctor did not arrive. What's worse was that we were removed from the room and was transferred to another room because a new patient need to use our bed. I felt discriminated and humiliated, Mama. Today, we were only discharged after I posted our predicament on Facebook, and somebody told the management about it. It was only then that the doctor came to sign Edgar's chart. We still had to wait the whole day, Mama because it had to pass to other departments - from the billing to the social worker. We were finally discharged at almost 5 p.m., Mama. And still no doctor saw us, nor discussed Edgar's condition, diagnosis, and other reminders.

    Edgar feels better now, Mama although he still has limited movements. He still cannot use his left arm because of the fractured shoulder. He will be seeking second opinion this week, Mama.

    While we were in the hospital, it was just Ralph and Angel at home, Mama. At times it was just Angel because Ralph had to go to work. I'm glad they are okay, Mama.

    I'm sorry for this long letter, Mama. I'm sorry about what happened to Edgar. I know they would have been taken better care of if only you were here. I'm sorry, Mama.

    I really wish you here. I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                Daddy

Nanay's 96th birthday

Dear Mama,

    Nanay turned 96 today. We had 2 celebrations, as usual, Mama. First was yesterday, Sunday, where we invited friends and relatives. Our cousins from Paranaque (Tatay's side), and Novaliches (Nanay's side) were able to join us. Of course, we were also joined by our cousins here in Angeles, which are all from Nanay's side.

    Today, the actual birthday of Nanay, we had dinner at our house in Sta. Teresita. It was just for us, though. A simple get together with siblings, nephews, nieces, and grandchildren.

    I don't know how long Ate Let and Koya Boy will be staying here in the Philippines, but on Thursday, Koya Boy will be treating us for lunch. But since I cannot attend because I have work, and I cannot take a leave of absence, Ralph will be representing me, Mama.

    Edgar took his motorcycle to work today, Mama. It's his first day on the road in his motorbike. I'm glad he's safe. Praying for his safety everyday. Help me pray for him, Mama.

    That will be all for now, Mama.

    I miss you.

    I love you.

                                                                                                      Daddy

Last day of February

Dear Mama,

    Yesterday, our children and I went out. I went straight to SM Clark after work because I had to get a haircut, then I waited for them. Edgar arrived first, Mama. He also came from his work. Ralph and Angel came after a while. We had dinner at Din Tai Fung courtesy of Ralph, of course. He wanted us to experience it, Mama. It was quite expensive, though. After dinner we went to Starbucks for coffee, where we also stayed and waited for Ralph's time to clock in for work which was 9:00 p.m. Their office is just at SM Clark, Mama. Then, the three of us - Angel, Edgar, and I, went straight home while Ralph proceeded to his office.

    Tomorrow, we will be celebrating Nanay's 96th birthday, Mama. Although her birthday is actually on Monday, we had to schedule it on a Sunday so we can invite our cousins from Nanay and Tatay's side. Although, there will still be another celebration dinner on her birthday on Monday in Sta. Teresita, Mama.

    I'm still having anxiety in our neighborhood, Mama. Although the new management of the grill house beside has done everything to be not too loud. They have done some sort of sound engineering, not actually soundproofing because I can still hear them sometimes. At least not as loud and disturbing as the one before the pandemic. But I am still getting anxious at night, especially when there's a car parking in the front of our house. I'm trying my best to manage it, Mama. I needed to adapt, I know. I cannot always have things my way. But I wish it wasn't the case.

    Edgar will be riding his motorcycle to work starting on Monday, Mama. He already got a copy of his OR/CR. He is out right now to get his temporary plate number he will use while waiting for his actual plate. He just arrived right now, as I am typing this. Guide him on the road, Mama. Help me pray for his safety.

    I am listening to my song right now in Spotify, Mama. I had to add it to a playlist, though, and play other songs. So I won't appear to be self-patronizing or something like that. At least it will still look like a legitimate streaming.

    I guess that will be all for now, Mama. I have said too much today. I hope I did not annoy you.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you,

                                                                                                                Daddy

Midweek update

Dear Mama,

    It's Wednesday night and we already had our dinner. Ralph is getting ready for work, Mama. It will be his third day (or night) today. He's still not doing anything yet according to him, because his requirements are still incomplete which wasn't really his fault, Mama. But he is still reporting as they already required him to.

    It will be Nanay's 96th birthday on Monday, Mama. Although we will be celebrating it on Sunday. We have invited our cousins, both from Nanay and Tatay's side. However, only 10 people might be able to attend from Tatay's side. We rarely see them because we no longer go to Paranaque like we used to when Tatay was still alive. It was a good thing we were able to join them last December for a Christmas party slash reunion of Dela Cruz clan.

    My first single in Spotify isn't really getting that much stream, Mama. Which is not really surprising because I am an unknown artist. I am just relying on the support of my friends who might have streamed it already only once or twice. I hope I will have loyal followers haha... 

    Anyway, I guess that will all for now, Mama. Ralph might be going to leave for work soon.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                                Daddy

Sunday night

Dear Mama,

    It's Sunday night, 8:30 p.m. and it's back to work again tomorrow. There's really never enough weekend. Ralph is on his way home now, Mama. He went to Pasig this morning to meet some of his friends from a previous company he worked in. Probably already in NLEX now, or perhaps near Dau already. He will be starting on his new work tomorrow, Mama. I hope he'll stay there longer than his last company.

    As I mentioned in my previous letter, I uploaded my first song in Spotify, Mama. It went live last Friday. I still don't know how it's doing because I have not claimed my artist account yet. I have already applied but I haven't been approved yet. I am still not sure if I'm doing the right thing, Mama.

    That's all the update I have for now, Mama. I wish I can be with you soon.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                            Daddy

Getting ready to upload to Spotify

Dear Mama,

    I received my finished product today. My original song that I have asked to be arranged, recorded for vocals, and sent for mixing is now back to me, all ready for uploading to Spotify to be released. But I am worried, Mama. I know my voice isn't beautiful, so I am worried about what they'll say.

    I know, I have already reached this far, I have spent time and money already. I guess I should go for it, right Mama? But that's just the easy part, Mama. I don't know if I will have the courage to promote it once it's live in Spotify and other platforms.

    If only I was even just half as good as you are a singer. If you were only here, you'll definitely be the one singing my compositions, and they will sound good, Mama.

    Oh well, I need to prepare and gather the courage to upload the song now, Mama. I hope I can make you proud, or at least not embarrassed. 

    I wish you were here. I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                    Daddy

Update on Ralph

Dear Mama,

    Ralph went to see a pulmonologist today. At first when he sent us a message, he said he might need to be admitted in the hospital. I got worried, Mama. Because if he'll be admitted, that means he's not okay.  The problem was that he's in-between jobs, and he has no health insurance right now.

    He said they are still waiting for him to rest. His breathing was tested, and he registered 250-340 where the normal should be at least 450. I was not surprised based on what I saw from him last Sunday while we were out, Mama. After resting, he was asked to use his inhaler before they tested him again. He registered 450-550, Mama. Only then was he allowed to go home.

    He was prescribed medicines, Mama. Most of which were like his current medicines. A nasal spray was added to his medicines, and he was prescribed to use his inhaler twice a day, 2 pups per take. It was just as needed before his check up, Mama. Now, it's included in his maintenance.

    Praying he'll get better soon, Mama. Especially now that he'll be starting in his new company next week. Help me pray for him, Mama.

    

                                                                                                                    Daddy

Worried about Ralph

Dear Mama,

    I am getting worried about our son, Ralph. We were out today because Angel wanted to watch the show of her favorite group Alamat in Marquee Mall. Everything was okay, Mama. Until after the show, while we were walking, we noticed Ralph grasping for air. We asked if he's okay, and he said yes. 

    While we were eating, he again stopped for a while. He wasn't bringing his inhaler, Mama. We immediately went home after eating, and he asked for his inhaler. He feels better now, he is resting. But I asked him to nebulize once he has rested.

    I am worried about him, Mama. His cough seems to be getting worse, and he is almost grasping for breath. I asked him to consult with a pulmonologist. His doctor is an internal medicine and has no specialization yet. So far, he is prescribed with an inhaler, and the medicine used in nebulizers. He is not getting better, as far as his cough is concerned. That's why I asked to seek a pulmonologist. He will be seeing one on Tuesday, Mama. 

    He is about to start in his new job, Mama. I am praying that his health, especially his respiratory, won't get in the way. Help me pray for him, Mama.

    Please help me make Ralph feel better.

                                                                                                            Daddy

 

This day again

Dear Mama,

    I really don't know how to greet you every time this day arrives. Should I greet you happy valentines day? Or should I greet you happy birthday in heaven, Mama? I don't know if I'm confused, heartbroken, or just stubborn.

    18 years ago today, you left us and went home with Our Father. It was tough for us. Painful. But it was freedom for you. Freedom from all the pain and suffering. You've been strong for so long, and you deserved to rest. Maybe I was just selfish to let you go. That was why you left when I was out. I wasn't even able to say goodbye.

    18 years and everything's still clear to me - the doctors, the nurses, the commotion, their effort to revive you, and me standing on the door looking in. Until they stopped trying, and one by one offering condolences and sympathy as they left the room.

    18 years and nothing has changed. I just learned to live with it. But the pain, questions, and confusions, they are all still inside. All kept within. Tucked in. Because no one would understand. And why should they?

    18 years and I still don't know how to greet you on this day. But I will always wish you were still here with us.

    I miss you, Mama.

                                                                                                        Daddy

First recording session

Dear Mama,

    I just had my first recording session today. I went to the recording studio to record my first song that I will release in Spotify, Mama. I had four takes, and the person I was talking to there said he will be doing some editing before sending me the vocals that I'll be sending to the one who will do the mixing before I can upload it to Spotify. 

    I'm not sure if this is all worth it, Mama. But I guess I will push through with it. 

    That's all I have to say for now, Mama. I just want to update you on my musical journey.

    I wish you here, I could use someone to cheer me.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                        Daddy

Sunday family day

Dear Mama,

    Our children and I went to Marquee Mall today just to spend our Sunday afternoon there. It was just me, Ralph, and Angel, Mama. Edgar went out this morning for his insurance agent endeavor, Mama. But he met us at Marquee Mall. He actually arrived there before us.

    Since there wasn't really anything much to see at the mall, we had our dinner at around 5 p.m. We ate at the food court in Marquee Mall, and we just rested there for a while. After dinner, and after resting for a while, we went to The Infinity Place, Mama. We had our coffee there, because the Starbucks in Marquee Mall is already closed because of the mall expansion and renovation.

    We stayed at Starbucks until around 8:30 p.m., Mama. Then we went straight home, because I was already feeling cold. Good thing, booking a grab car today wasn't hard.

    That's how our Sunday went today, Mama. Tomorrow's Monday again, and we'll be back to work.

    Until my next letter, Mama.

    I miss you.

    I love you, Mama.

        

                                                                                                        Daddy

Updates on me and Ralph

Dear Mama,

    I already have the song I sent for arrangement. They sent me a minus one, or what they call as track. It was nice, Mama. My song has a professional-sounding accompaniment. My only concern is, I cannot play it that way, live. I will have to make do of it for now, Mama.

    Now, I need to go to a recording studio so I can record the vocals of the song. But I have cough right now, Mama. I'm not sure if I should proceed and hope I won't cough while recording, or hope the studio can fix it. Or if I should wait for the cough to subside. But if I delay, I might lose the drive (which I already am), and no longer push through in releasing my song, Mama. Also, I might spend all my money and have no more funds for releasing my song. I don't know, Mama. I'm confused.

    Last night, when I stood up to go the bathroom to pee, Ralph talked to me and said one of the company he was applying to messaged him and said he was accepted. When I asked if they already gave him an offer, he said not yet. They were asking for a copy of his pay slip from his previous company before they give him the final proposition. I don't know if it was all true, because it was around 11 to 12 midnight, and I was half-asleep, Mama. He did not mention anything this morning as I was preparing for work.

    Anyway, that will be all for now, Mama. Really wish you were here. I could use your advice.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                        Daddy

London bridge is falling down

Dear Mama,

    I've been feeling anxious since this morning. I don't know what's causing it, Mama. Angel is sick again. She cannot eat well. She doesn't have any appetite although she's trying to eat, Mama. Please help us. Make Angel well, Mama.

    Ralph is also not feeling well, although he's trying to cope. He still doesn't have a job right now. He's still waiting for calls from those he'd applied on. He isn't talking much lately, and I don't know what to say to him, Mama.

    It seems it's only Edgar who is up right now, or at least he's trying to. I guess it's because of his new endeavor as a financial consultant. He needs to be positive and not easily give up. I wish he'd be successful, Mama.

    It will be Nanay's birthday in a month's time. For the last 10 years, we've been celebrating her birthday, Mama. Koya Boy and Ate Let usually goes home during Nanay's birthday. I'm always worried during these times, Mama.

    Anyway, that will be all for now, Mama. I'm sorry for failing our children. I wish you were still here. I knew they'd be much better.

                                                                                                        Daddy

Ranma crossed the rainbow bridge

Dear Mama,

    Another one of our cats crossed the rainbow bridge today. Ranma, the mother of Otis, left us today today, Mama. I did not know she was sick, although she was always hiding inside the cabinet of Edgar these past few days. This morning, Edgar and Angel saw her weak. They tried to revive her, but she eventually gave up. I feel bad for the cats, Mama. We really don't know how to take care of them.

    As for me, I am not sure if I'm having the flu or this is because of my age in this very cold weather we have. Although, I took my temperature this morning, it's 37.14. I took bioflu after that. I was planning to take one again now, but I remembered I just took my maintenance medicines. Maybe after a while, Mama. Just to be sure.

    We did not go out today, like we usually do on Sundays, Mama. Because Ralph went out with his friends, Edgar had a short ride around the neighborhood, while Angel and I stayed at home. I really wanted to go out, but I wasn't really feeling well. So, I just stayed at home.

    Unfortunately, I cannot take a sick leave tomorrow because it's Monday, Mama. If we took a sick leave on Monday, Fridays, or before and after a holiday or long weekend, we need to provide a medical certificate. Even if it's just one day.

    Anyway, that will be all for now, Mama. I might be playing the guitar for a while before I go to sleep.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                                Daddy

Prelude to weekend

Dear Mama,

    It's Friday night, and we just had our dinner. I am also done cleaning the cat litter boxes and taking out the trash. Ralph is out tonight, Mama. He attended a trivia night event, which is usually weekends - Friday and Saturday. He doesn't attend regularly, though. He attends the event based on the subject they have. Tonight must be general interest, Mama.

    I'm still waiting for my song arrangement, Mama. It's not yet done. It's almost February. I hope they did not change the tempo or the style. I'm excited but also worried.

    I am not sure what to expect this weekend, Mama. Although tomorrow we're going to the supermarket to buy our groceries. And every time we go to the supermarket, I always get anxieties, Mama. Worried about the line or any other untoward incidents. I hope I can control my anxieties, because it sometimes get in the way, Mama.

    That will be all for now, Mama. Please pray for us, especially our children.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                        Daddy

Monday update

Dear Mama,

    It's another Monday, start of another week. The new water meter hasn't been installed yet, they haven't inspected it yet. Hopefully, they'll come today, Mama.

    Edgar already bought his new motorcycle, although he hasn't been taking it to work. He still doesn't have the temporary plate, Mama. He might get flagged down if he get it out on the main road. If that happened, they might sense he's new and milk him for money. You know how corrupt traffic enforcers are.

    I'm still waiting for the song I asked to be arranged. It's not February yet, I am just excited.

    Anyway, that will be all for now, Mama. I miss you.

    I love you.

    

                                                                                                        Daddy

Our water meter is stolen again

Dear Mama,

    Our water meter was stolen again today. Angel woke me up at 3 a.m. today telling me that our water meter was stolen again. She said she was only made aware because the barangay personnel were knocking at our gate. They said they saw someone on the cctv acting suspicious, when they tried to catch them, they were already gone, and so was our water meter, Mama.

    This is the second time in less than a year that our water meter was stolen, Mama. Sometimes I think I'm the problem, am I attracting these things happening to us? I wasn't even actually thinking bad, Mama. I was busy thinking of our children and my upcoming song release in Spotify.

    Anyway, Ralph is on his way to report to the police and water district. He just came from the barangay for the report he needs to submit to the police and to the water district. 

    Edgar and I did not work today. Edgar's reason was because of his gout, while my reason was this stolen water meter. We have fixed the problem temporarily so we will have water in the house. Edgar also said he will go out later to finally get his motorcycle.

    That's all for now, Mama. I just want to update you on what happened to us.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                    Daddy

We gout another problem

Dear Mama,

    That's not a typo, we really gout another problem. Or should I say, we have another problem with gout.

    As you know, Mama, Ralph and Edgar are having recurring gout attacks. Tonight, Edgar's was worse. It's painful, Mama. It's started this morning, and it has gotten worse this evening. He said he was feeling the pain while he was at work today. I'm thankful he was able to make it home safe.

    They are taking medicine, Ralph and Edgar, for their gout, Mama. But it's just a pain reliever that they have to take when the gout attacks, and lately, they have been very painful. Ralph has it for more than 10 years now, probably. While Edgar's started last year. I hope they'll be free from this problem soon, Mama.

    Ralph still hasn't found a new job, Mama. He's still waiting for feedback from those he have applied before. I'm praying he finds a stable one soon.

    Angel discussed with me her plans about her health, Mama. She said she wants to see another dermatologist and get second opinion about her skin problem, and she's also planning to see a psychiatrist. We both agreed that she should see her doctor first, an internist, and she should tell him her plans about the dermatologist and the psychiatrist.

    That will be all for now, Mama. Praying for better future for us. Please help us pray.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                                Daddy

I took the first step

Dear Mama,

    Last night I took the first step in releasing my song to Spotify. I sent my song to an arranger, Mama. It will be finished by the first week of February. I have also contacted a recording studio where I'll record my song once the arranged music is completed, Mama. Then the mixing, and finally sending my song to a distributor who will upload my song to Spotify and other platforms.

    I'm excited, Mama. Although, I'm not really expecting much, given that there are a lot of outstanding independent songwriters releasing their songs to Spotify. Then there the mainstream artists, of course. So, I guess I'll be happy if I get 10 to 20 streams on Spotify with my song haha....

    That's all what I want to say, Mama. I wish you're here and I'm telling this to you personally. I hope I'm making you proud.

    I love you, Mama.

    I miss you.

                                                                                                                Daddy

Before I retire for the night

Dear Mama,

    I am about to sleep, but I thought I'd write a short letter for you. We'll start another week tomorrow, Mama. I'm praying there'll be better news for us, especially Ralph and Angel. Angel said she'll be applying for work tomorrow. Ralph is still waiting for calls. So far he only had 2 interviews, Mama.

    Edgar didn't get the motorcycle he was supposed to get today, Mama. I don't know what kept him, though. But I am relieved he won't riding a motorcycle for now.

    We went to SM Clark again today, Mama. Ralph had his haircut, while I bought some items I need for the laundry. Then we had ramen for dinner, and ice cream for dessert before going home, Mama. 

    I am considering to push through in releasing my original songs to Spotify, Mama. One song at a time, of course. I hope I'm making the right decision.

    That will be all for now, Mama. I did say it's short. But I wish I can hug you right now.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                                    Daddy

Saturday Night update

Dear Mama,

    It's just me and Angel tonight here at the house. Actually, we just arrived home a while ago. We went out to find a place to eat around Marisol, Mama. Since it was only the two of us, I thought we can go out. We walked about 2 blocks away, Mama. Afterwards, we also had coffee at another coffee shop even though the place where we had dinner was actually a coffee shop, too.

    Ralph went to attend another quiz/trivia night in Balibago, Mama. He just messaged us, he might go home a bit late because he is planning to get a foot massage, since there is one where they had their event. Edgar, on the other hand, went to Makati for another event which is related to his being a financial advisor/insurance consultant. He hasn't updated us yet whether he'll be going home tonight.

    I asked Angel if I should push through in  releasing my song to Spotify, and she said yes. I'm still hesitant if I should. I'm concerned about the money I will be spending, Mama. We might need it in the house, or for our children.  I'm confused, Mama. I wish you were here.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                                        Daddy

Friday night

Dear Mama,

    It's Friday night, and every weekend (Friday and Saturday), there are singers in the grill bar beside us. The good thing is that they are not as loud as the previous owners, Mama. The new owners have installed soundproofing materials. Although not really zero noise, at least it's not as loud as the one before the lockdown in 2020.

    We already had our dinner, Mama. Although Edgar is not yet here. It was just the three of us - Ralph, Angel, and me. We just bought food from a Korean restaurant in highway, Mama because I don't know what to cook. Because it was Edgar who has been doing the cooking, I don't know how to cook anymore. I'm still trying sometimes, but most of the time I just buy food, Mama.

    Edgar went out with his officemates, Mama. He said they will be going out to dinner. He might be late because they might go for coffee after dinner. I just hope the car parked in front of us leaves before Edgar arrives home. He might get annoyed again. Anyway, he will be getting his motorcycle soon, Mama. I will now just worry endlessly. I hope he stays calm and safe will riding his motorcycle.

    I don't know if I will still push through in releasing my original songs to Spotify, Mama. I will shell out at least P10k for my initial song because I will have to buy an account. I don't know if it's worth it. I think it's just a selfish whim. I can just use that money for more important stuff. I don't know, Mama. I'm confused.

    I guess that will all for now, Mama. I hope you will visit me in my dream.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                            Daddy

Is it getting better or is it just taking a pause?

Dear Mama,

    It's a little quiet now here. Angel feels better, and hasn't been complaining of any pains lately, Mama. Must the medicines having the effect on her. She's having better dispositions lately. Probably it was really her hypothyroidism that was causing her problems before. She's taking medicines for her maintenance, Mama. I hope she continues to be like this. She's also planning to do some exercises. She been gaining weight.

    Ralph and Edgar are also okay, Mama. They were no longer having fever, although their gouts seem to show up every now and then. Sometimes it's just mild, but other times it seems painful, Mama. I wish they would be healed from this condition permanently. Ralph is still looking for a job, while Edgar has been trying his luck as an insurance broker/financial advisor. I'm praying he will succeed in his endeavor. He is also planning to buy a motorcycle, Mama.

    As for me, I'm trying my best to cope, Mama - financially, and most especially, emotionally and psychologically. I cope by doing song covers in TikTok haha... I have quite a number of followers, Mama. I don't know why, but they seem like my singing haha... either that, or they just want to support an old man singing. After all, a lot of them are calling me 'lolo' or grandpa haha... I don't mind. I'm really old anyway. 

    Well, I guess that will be all for now, Mama. I wish I could hold your hands and hug you right now.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                            Daddy