Thank you, Mama

Dear Mama,

Thank you for helping me take care of Angel. She was okay yesterday and was able to go to school. I hope I can handle her better next time.

I'm not well, Mama. I am bothered. I don't know why.

Anyway, I hope you're doing fine. Take care of yourself, Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Help me with Angel

Dear Mama,

Angel didn't go to school today. It's that time of the month again. I'm worried about her, Mama. It's like she doesn't go to school at least once a month. I'm not sure if it's normal or something that I should be alarmed of. I've no one to ask, Mama. Please help me handle her problem. I don't even how to talk to her about it. I feel sorry for her because she is left to my care... a clueless father.

I wish I would know what to do. I'm sure, at times at like these, she'll wish she still have you. I'm so sorry, Mama.

Anyway, that'll be all for now. Take care of yourself, Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Leaving the hospital

Dear Mama,

I will be leaving my job again because I will be transferring to a new one. I'll be submitting my resignation letter today, Mama and then I'll only be staying here for a month. I do hope it is a right decision. Angel said I should leave. She wants me to be an accountant, which is what I will be doing in my new job.

Had a brief interview last night with my future employer. There were no formal discussions whether I was hired or how much the salary would be. But we just discussed my work - what is expected of me, what I should do, my resources, etc. He even gave a sample work to study and told me that we would discuss it next time we meet.

Actually, I've been wanting to leave the hospital, Mama. Not because of my workload or salary... but because of "her." Everything seems to get difficult everyday. I don't like to get my work affected, but it's inevitable. So I guess this new job is the sign that I've been waiting for. I'm really praying it's a good decision, Mama.

Well, that will be all for now Mama. Please take care of yourself. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Another letter...

Dear Mama,

Hello again. It's another Monday, start of a new week and I really hope things will get better for me and the kids. Last week was rather rough and I barely made it through, Mama. I hope this week would be different. I'm sorry for my whining. I really don't know what to do.

Oh well, I really wish I can talk to you, Mama. I mean, I wish I could hear your replies. It would be nice to hear your voice once again and see you smile. I really miss you, Mama. I could use your encouragement right now.

Oops, I think I'm getting to it again. I guess I better slow down before I start whining again. Anyway, please do take care of yourself, Mama. Don't worry about me. I've been through worse.

Bye for now. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

I feel like failing...

Dear Mama,

Hi! How are you? About me, nothing's changed Mama. Still waiting for that one big windfall of grace.

Why do I feel like it's going to be a long year, Mama? It's just the second month and I already feel tired. Right now, I really could use a hug Mama. I miss you. I really wish I will be with you soon.

Take care, Mama. I love you.


Daddy

I just need to talk to you

Dear Mama,

I am writing this letter to you and yet I really don't know what to say. I'm tired of whining and bothering you, Mama but I've no good news either. But I do feel the need to talk to you... sit right beside you, hold your hands and talk about anything that comes to mind... just be with you.

It hasn't been easy lately, Mama. I don't know. Maybe I brought it all upon myself. I've never been so disorganized. I really hope I can pull through this one.

I need you Mama. Please be here.

Daddy

Irony after 4 years?

Dear Mama,

It's exactly 4 years now since you "went home." The irony of it all is that I am now back where it all started... or should I say ended. Yesterday, while I was doing the rounds in the hospital, I stopped at the spot where our room was. Although the building is now renovated and rooms were moved, I still know where we were... and now, I'm still here, working.

I really don't know what to say right now, Mama. I miss you. I love you.


Daddy

A day before Valentine...

Dear Mama,

It's a day before Valentine's. Same day, 4 years ago, we were in the hospital. Never did I have any clue that it would be our last day together. I don't even know if I should even think about it now... if only I could bring back time. I don't like being alone, Mama. I'm weak, I don't know if I can still go on.

I really wish you'd never have left, Mama. Selfish as it may sound, I'd still want you to be here with me. I miss you, Mama. I really do.


Daddy


p.s. I love you

Is this still making sense?

Dear Mama,

Is this still making sense? I mean, me writing you all these letters and keeping you updated on what’s happening with me, the kids, the people that we know… everything! While believing that you’re actually reading them. What is the point of all these? Why was I writing to you in the first place? You’re supposed to be resting, Mama while I have to proceed and continue for the sake of our kids.

I’m sorry, Mama. I don’t know. It seems that nothing is going well with me as of late. I’m barely hanging on, Mama. I’m almost losing it… unfortunately I can’t. I have to be strong. Or put up a strong front, at least. But, what is really the sense of going on? Alone?

I’m really tired, Mama. I can’t make anything of all these things happening right now. I don’t even know what to say! I don’t know what questions to ask… what to pray for… where to go… what to do. Why am I even here, Mama?!

What should I do now, Mama? What should I do?


Daddy