Dear Mama,
It will be the birthday of our firstborn on Wednesday. Ralph will be 30 years old by then, Mama. Can you imagine, that?! It means I'm really, really old! We do not have any plans yet on what to do for his birthday. We might go out, we still do not know where. I've filed a leave of absence for that day, Mama. I will also have my quarterly check up with doctor my then, since Ralph will be working and we will be celebrating after his work.
I still do not have any gift for Ralph, Mama. I don't know what to give him or buy for him. We might just buy him t-shirts, as suggested by Angel, since I have rejected most of her other suggestions. I will be looking for gifts on Tuesday, after work, Mama.
The results of my recent lab tests, which I will be bringing to the doctor on Wednesday, are all good, Mama. Meaning they are all within limit - my uric acid, sugar, cholesterol, etc. Probably it's because I've taking maintenance medicine. My doctor might probably prescribe me to continue them. At least they won't be increasing in dosage. I hope.
I am actually not feeling well, Mama. I don't know if it's real or just paranoia. I easily get tired, even from my usual daily walk to and from office. Probably because I am not really exercising, nor am I watching my diet. I actually stress-eat sometimes, Mama.
Lately, I've been having lots of anxiety attacks. I fear a lot of things will happen, and the things I wish to happen will not happen. It's taking its toll on me, Mama. I am irritated most of the time, especially when I am at home. And I feel down every time I remember all my failures. When will I free myself from these feelings, Mama?
Sorry, Mama. I don't wish to burden you with these nonsense. It's just so difficult when you have no one talk to.
Anyway, I've said enough. Until my next letter, Mama.
I miss you.
I love you.
Daddy
