We went to Tarlac

Dear Mama,

    This morning, Ralph and I went to Capas, Tarlac for his unit turn-over. I took a leave of absence from work so I could accompany him, Mama. There is still a lot of work that needs to be done on the house, some improvements and renovations. I don't know how will Ralph be able to do it, Mama. I told him to ask his cousins and friends for some advice. Unfortunately, I have nothing to advice him on that matter.

    He is already on his way to work now, Mama. We already had our dinner. I'm about to rest, but thought I'd write to update you, Mama. Please continue guiding our children, Mama, especially in their life's decision. I'm sorry if I am failing in guiding them properly.

    I know, things would have been better for our children if you're still here with us.

                                                                                                    Daddy

Another Sunday Buffet

Dear Mama,

    We arrived home about 30 minutes ago, our children and I. We came from a buffet restaurant where we had our dinner, Mama. Of course, courtesy of Ralph again.

    Earlier this afternoon, I went to Nepo area to buy t-shirt as a gift for Ralph's birthday next month. I waited for our children there. Ralph came from a lunch meet up with his former co-workers, while Angel and Edgar would be coming from home. I left earlier so I could buy the t-shirt before Ralph would come from his lunch meet up.

    Ralph arrived at around 3 p.m., while Edgar and Angel came before 4 p.m. We stayed for a while at Nepo Mall, then at around 5 p.m., Ralph booked a Grab car and we went to Century Hotel. We came earlier than the dinner time, but we didn't have to wait long because they opened the buffet table earlier. Probably because we were already there, Mama.

    How I wish you were with us during this family time, Mama. I'm sure it would have been happier if we were complete. You would have been proud of our children.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                Daddy

First day performance

Dear Mama,

    I arrived home earlier at around 8:30 p.m. (it's already past 9pm). Had my dinner, took my maintenance medicines, and now writing this letter for you. Ralph is already at work, Angel and Edgar are preparing to leave to go to a nearby coffee shop. I said I will no longer go with them, Mama. I said I wanted to rest.

    I came from the opening of the Bonzai and Beyond exhibit. They invited me to sing my original Kapampangan song because it ties with their theme, which is saving the trees in Friendship. The people who were there and heard it said they like my song, and it was beautiful. I'm glad I passed, Mama. Tomorrow, Saturday, I'll be back there to sing more songs, together with my fellow songwriters from the Songwriters Cabalen Community.

    I hope I am making you proud, Mama. I wish you were here.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                        Daddy

It's Friday again

 Dear Mama,

    It's Friday again, and I don't know what to feel. The renovations/construction of the grillhouse beside us is finished, and I don't know what to expect.

    I'm worried, Mama.

                                                                         Daddy

Am I holding back our children?

Dear Mama,

    Sometimes I can't help but think, am I holding back our children? Am I the reason they are not succeeding in their life? Am I pulling them down because of my bad karma?

    I'm sorry, Mama. They are not a failure. They are doing okay, Mama. They are working and earning, but I feel like I have not taught them well on how to succeed in life. But just like what they say, Mama... you cannot give what you don't have. I am not successful myself, that's why I was not able to teach them anything. 

    I hope I'm not being a burden to them. I'm praying they will succeed in their life, Mama. At least, I can go in peace when I die. I won't have to worry about them. 

    I'm sorry I wasn't able to teach them how to be successful, Mama. I'm really sorry.

                                                                                                     Daddy

Headache

Dear Mama,

    We just had our dinner and Ralph is now preparing to go to work. I hope he won't be late. It's been raining lately at night here. The rain has stopped now, I hope it won't fall when Ralph is on his way to work.

    I've been having recurring headaches lately, Mama. I'm not sure if it's because of my eyes or something else. I just bought my glasses off the shelf in a Japan thrift store. I did not really have any consultation with an optometrist or ophthalmologist, Mama. I also have been some pain at my nape on the right side along with the headache. 

    I'm still waiting for the results of the songwriting contest I joined recently, Mama. It's not really a contest, they just asked for submissions of some unfinished songs, just a verse and a chorus, to be considered for the new album of Bini. So far, there's no update, yet.

    I also will be performing this weekend, Mama - Friday and Saturday. On Friday, I will be delivering the opening song, and on Saturday, I will be one of the performers of our songwriters' group, Mama. Both will have the same venue, which is Culture Shack in Sandra Mall, and both will have the same theme - for the Friendship Trees. I will be singing my Kapampangan songs, Mama. I hope you are proud of me even though I am not really that good of a singer.

    I guess that will be all for now, Mama. I hope I can be with you soon. I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                        Daddy

Pizza night

Dear Mama,

    We just had our dinner. We had pizza tonight, Mama. Ralph ordered pizza for delivery. He doesn't have work tonight because it's a holiday. Yesterday, Sunday, he treated us for coffee and dinner because he won a P500 gift check last Saturday. Sometimes, I'm worried on Ralph's spending, Mama. I hope he's handling his finances well.

    His birthday will be coming soon, Mama. I still don't know what to buy, or do for him. He is waiting for the call from the developers for the repairs of the house he bought. He will still need to have it renovated and finished once it's turned-over to him, Mama. I wish I can find some money to help him in his renovations. He has already spent so much for us. Unfortunately, I do not have any savings, Mama. I don't know how to help him. If only I could sell my songs, or at least earn from my books.

    Anyway, that will be for now, Mama. I wish I can see you in my dreams.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                         Daddy

Hi

Dear Mama,

    Hi. Honestly, I don't know what to say, Mama. I really don't know what to say. I'm tired of whining. I'm tired of this anxiety. I wish I can really talk to you right now. Maybe just to even hold your hands, or hug you. But that will be asking too much.

    I miss you, Mama. I need you. I wish I can be with you.

                                                                                                                Daddy

Tatay's birthday

Dear Mama,

    Ralph, Edgar, and I went to Sta Teresita today for the birthday lunch of Tatay. Of course, it was courtesy of Ate Let who sent money so we can celebrate Tatay's birthday even though he is already in heaven. I left the house earlier than Ralph and Edgar, Mama. I went to Robinsons to buy birthday cake, which was my only contribution. Angel did not go with us, Mama.

    Edgar is already done with his antibiotics for his leptospirosis infection, Mama. Although he is now taking another set of medicines. He went to the doctor last Thursday because of the wounds on his back which were caused by fleas, cat fleas. His medicines are antiviral and anti histamine, Mama. He was not given any ointment for the wounds. Earlier this morning, he was complaining of pain from the wounds. After taking the medicine, he said he felt better.

    Mama, I hope I can find a way so I can afford for us to relocate to a more peaceful place. Although, I don't know where that peaceful place might be. Sometimes, I even think I am the problem because I react to everything. So, I'm not sure if it will be peaceful for me if we relocate. I don't know, Mama. I'm tired of all these anxiety attacks every time I am at home. I am supposed to be at peace here.

    Wish you were here, Mama.

                                                                                                                Daddy

Anxiety again

Dear Mama,

    I'm having frequent anxiety attacks again, lately.

    The renovations in the bar beside us is almost finished. I'm worried because the entrance to the new place is right beside our gate. I don't know what it is, Mama. It is part of the bar & grill, but it is enclosed separately and has a different door, which as I said is right beside us.

    Edgar said it might be a vape lounge, while I said it might be a coffee shop. I don't know which is better, Mama. I don't feel good about it.

    Add to this, the apartment unit right in front of us has started a new business again, Mama. They used to sell barbecues in 2021 to 2022, and they were a bit noisy then. Edgar was annoyed, and I was worried he might get into an argument with them. Now that they are opening again, I'm getting worried, Mama.

    I don't know how to stop this anxiety, Mama. I wanted to leave and just relocate to a different house, in a more peaceful environment, but who's to tell we won't have the same problem again.

    Sometimes, I think the problem really is in me. I always attract these things. I don't know what to do, Mama.

                                                                                                                Daddy

Update on Edgar

Dear Mama,

    It's almost 8 p.m. here, Wednesday. Ralph left for work early tonight, Mama. He must have a lot work to do. He left earlier at 7 p.m. Good thing the rain has stopped, although there were still occasional drizzles, Mama.

    Edgar already reported for work today, Mama. He went back to the doctor last Sunday for ECG and follow up consultation. He was then advised to extend his rest up to Tuesday (yesterday). He went back to the doctor on Monday for the reading of his ECG, and it was normal. He was just advised to continue with his medicines, the 7 days antibiotic. 

    Last Sunday, Angel had her first pop-up store/bazaar experience. I accompanied her on the way to the site, Mama. Ralph booked us Lala Move to transport all her things. They joined us, Ralph and Edgar, in the evening. We stayed until around 10 p.m., and Ralph once again booked a Lala Move for us to go home. Angel had a positive experience. Although she might not have even able to break-even, but at least it was an experience for her.

    I guess that will all for now, Mama. I miss you.

    I love you, Mama.

                                                                                                            Daddy

Update on Ralph, Edgar, Angel, and me

Dear Mama,

    It's August 1st, Friday and I am on leave from work. Edgar is too, but he is on sick leave. We all went to Capas this morning to check the house of Ralph, which was supposed to be turned over to him. We left at 7:30 am, and we reached Capas at around 8:45. We had a quick breakfast before we proceeded to the subdivision to check his unit, which is a townhouse.

    We first went to the admin office, then they assisted us at Ralph's house. Upon checking the unit, Mama, I was disappointed. I was actually mad. Why did they have the audacity to present the unit to us for turn-over when the work was lopsided. It's like they are shortchanging us. If we did not accompany Ralph, he might have accepted the unit, Mama. There were a lot of things that need to be fixed. They said they will call Ralph again after fixing what we have pointed out.

    From Capas, we proceeded to Clark Museum, Mama. It was my first time to be there. From the museum, we had lunch in a nearby restaurant which was a bit pricey, Mama. Had I known that, I would not have agreed, but it was Ralph's choice and he's paying. After lunch, we proceeded to SM where Edgar had his follow up consultation at Maxicare.

    He first went to Maxicare yesterday, Mama. He had undergone a series of lab procedure - x-ray, urinalysis, and blood test. The results were discussed to him today. He has an infection, Mama. Something that is related to leptospirosis, although it's not exactly that. He was prescribed antibiotics, Mama.

    Right now, he is in his room, and he is hot again, Mama. He was okay this morning when we were in Capas, Clark Museum, and in SM Clark. For some reason, he is having fever every evening. He is taking bioflu around the Clark, Mama. He doesn't want to be taken to the hospital. Please help me make him well, Mama.

    Meanwhile, Angel is now preparing for a bazaar she will be joining, Mama. One this Sunday, and another one next weekend. She'll be selling used clothes, and some artworks, Mama. I hope she'll get positive experiences from these, It will be her first time, Mama. Although she's been planning to do that for a long time now. The other organizers she talked to before weren't very responsive. 

    As for me, nothing much, Mama. I still worry about a lot things. Even though I'm trying my best to hold myself, I cannot control it. I'm having anxiety all of the time. I don't understand it, and I'm hating myself for it. I want it stop, but I don't know how, Mama.

    I guess that will be for now, Mama. Please make Edgar well, Mama. Please guide our children. I'm sorry I was not able to take care of them well. I know, things would have been different if you were here.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                        Daddy

Edgar is sick, Mama

Dear Mama,

    Edgar is sick again. He has the flu, Mama. He felt cold on Monday evening, and he did not go to work yesterday, Tuesday. He went to work today, but tonight he is sick again, Mama. He is resting right now. He will take his medicine later at 11:00 p.m., it's 9:30 now, Mama.

    Please help me make Edgar well, Mama.

                                                                                                            Daddy

Why am I a failure, Mama?

Dear Mama,

    Why am I such a failure? Why am I a such a big loser, Mama? I am failing in almost everything!

    I failed as a son, I wasn't able to make my parents proud and was not even able to help them financially. In fact, I was even a burden to them even though I was already married and have my own family. They were still supporting me when I lost my job and you were sick, Mama. I did not help them. I burdened them.

    I was a failure as a student. Did not get any honors that might have made Nanay and Tatay proud. I even almost failed in one of my subjects. I barely made it, Mama. 

    I failed as an accountant, a banker, and an employee. I wasn't able to achieve anything. I was not able to make something of my profession. I cannot do anything right, Mama.

    I failed as a Toastmaster. I never became a champion. I failed as an author. Nobody bought my books. I failed as a songwriter. My songs never amounted to anything.

    But most of all, Mama, I failed as a father. I was not able to give our children a decent house they can live in. A safe and peaceful environment they can thrive in. I was not able to provide all their needs, and I was not able to guide them in my life properly because I myself am clueless. I'm such a big failure, Mama. A loser!

    I'm sorry, Mama. I failed.

                                                                                                             Daddy

The rain never stopped

Dear Mama,

    It has been raining continuously since last night. It would pause for a while, and then it would rain again even harder. Typhoon Crising has already left the country and this is just monsoon rain, Mama. Although there is another one coming in, if it's not yet here.

    Ralph has already left for work, Mama. I'm waiting for his message that he has boarded their shuttle bus. He took a trike to the terminal even though it's raining. I hope he'll make it on time and dry. It's already 8:19 p.m. and their shuttle leaves at 8:30 p.m.

    There's loud thunder, Mama. Perhaps there might be some lightning, too although they must be far because I can't hear them. 

    I guess that will be for now, Mama.

    I hope to be with you soon.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                        Daddy

Another rainy weekend

Dear Mama,

    It will be another rainy weekend for us most probably, as there's a tropical storm. There's no typhoon signal raised yet for our place, but there's been a lot of raining lately, especially in the evening.

    It's Friday, 6:50 p.m. but Ralph has already left for work, Mama. He said he will be meeting his friends at the mall before going to his office later before 9:00 p.m.

    I don't know what to say here, Mama. But I know I wanted to say something. There's a lot inside of me right now, but I don't how to say it. I just wish I can hug right now, Mama.

    I need you.

    

                                                                                                            Daddy

Rainy Sunday

Dear Mama,

    It's a rainy Sunday morning. It's 8 a.m. and I am done with the laundry, Mama. I had my coffee earlier. Ralph and Angel are sleeping right now. Edgar is already awake, but he is in his room. I think he'll be preparing our brunch in a while, Mama. He already put the left-over rice from the freezer to the table.

    It has been raining almost the whole week, Mama. There were days the sun would shine for the day, although it was still cloudy, and then rain would fall in the evening and overnight. I'm not sure, but there must be a typhoon right now, Mama.

    Yesterday, our siblings had lunch out with Nanay, courtesy of Koya Boy who will be going back to Guam today, Mama. His flight will be this evening.

    Ralph will be having his turn-over for his house anytime soon, Mama. He already paid for the requirements to move in, they are just doing the finishing touches. He is not yet sure, but he is planning to move in to his new house, although he will then be farther from his work.

    I guess that will be all for now, Mama.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                        Daddy

Life update

Dear Mama,

    It's the last day of June, the first half of the year flew by so quickly. We're now entering the second half and in only a few more months, it will be Christmas again. I still don't like Christmas, Mama. But of course, I don't have to be a Grinch.

    Ralph is preparing to go to work, Mama. We already had our dinner. I'm done cleaning the cat litter boxes, Angel fed the cats, and Edgar is now washing the dishes. It's a quiet rainy evening, Mama. Although it's just drizzles now. I hope Ralph will be able to leave early.

    Angel will be going back to the doctor on Wednesday, Mama. So far, her tests were all clear. Just one more test, I hope it will be good also. It's a test for her bone marrow, Mama. She had it last week. She'll get the result on Wednesday and then proceed to her doctor in AUFMC.

    I submitted 2 songs to the Bini Verse and Chorus, Mama. Today is their deadline. I submitted my second song last week, and the first one the week before that. I was supposed to submit only one, Mama. But I tried writing another one last week, and thought it might have a chance when I finished it. I'm not expecting anything, Mama. Anyway, I can still use those songs if they did not make the grade.

    I guess that will be all for now, Mama. Wish I can be with you soon.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                    Daddy

Another bout with the flu

Dear Mama,

    I had another bout with the flu. Last night was painful, Mama. I was crying in pain, I felt cold and it was painful. I didn't know what to do. I did not understand. I did not know if I was crying in pain, or because of nervousness, or because of self-pity. I did not even remember how I fell asleep.

    I did not report for work today. I sent a text message to our manager to say I have fever. I feel better now, Mama. I took medicines 'round the clock. So, I'll be able to go back to work tomorrow.

    An update on Angel's condition, Mama. Her lab results are all out - ultrasound, blood chemistry, and stool exam, they were all normal. Although she still has to go back to her doctor to bring the lab results for proper reading and diagnosis, Mama. She was prescribed antibiotics before her lab tests. I guess she'll just have to continue them. 

    I guess that will be my update for now. I wish I can hug you right now. I surely need it.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                              Daddy

Father's Day and update on Angel

Dear Mama,

    Yesterday, our children and I celebrated Father's Day. We initially went out to play bowling but there was no available lanes. So, we had coffee first while thinking of our alternative plans.

    Finally, we decided to go to the KTV instead since there was still no available lanes when we went back to check. We had fun at the KTV, Mama. Especially Angel, who has been mentioning of wanting to go to KTV for a while now. We stayed at the KTV, and sang our hearts out for 3 hours, Mama. Wish you were with us. I know you love singing.

    Another update on Angel, Mama. She was complaining of pain in her abdomen/stomach area. We were thinking of taking her to the hospital, but she doesn't want to. I was actually hesitant, because all they would do at the ER is conduct tests, without any final diagnosis, even perhaps advising confinement.

    She took pain reliever Sunday morning, Mama and she felt better. That's why we were able to go out last night. Today, she will be going to her doctor, so she can have her proper consultation. Hopefully her doctor is available. Please help her, Mama.

    I wasn't able to get her health insurance, yet. But I will be soon because I will be receiving the salary loan I applied to, to pay for her health insurance.

    Sorry for my shortcomings and failures on our children, Mama. I'm trying my best.

                                                                                                    Daddy

I picked up my lab results

Dear Mama,

    I picked up my lab results earlier, although I did not immediately look at them. I looked at them only about 30 minutes after I got home. I was afraid to see them, Mama. I was even planning just to hand them to the doctor on my check up without looking at them.

    As I slowly looked at the lab results, I felt relieved when they are still within the ideal range, Mama. However, a lot of them are borderline. Especially my blood sugar :( 

    I will just wait for the doctor's verdict when I see him next week, Mama.

    I guess I'm really getting old. The 'bonuses' are coming. I hope I will die a quick death so I won't be a burden to our children, Mama.

    Anyway, that will be for now, Mama. Can't wait to be with you soon.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                    Daddy

It's quarterly check up again

Dear Mama,

    It's 5:25 p.m., just finished with the laundry and done folding the clothes I washed yesterday. Although I only folded a few clothes, Mama. Most of them are not yet dry because it's already rainy season. Edgar is already preparing our dinner.

    It's quarterly check up again, Mama. I had my blood extracted for the lab test yesterday. I did not yet get the result. Actually, I'm afraid to get the results. I'm always afraid to see the results, Mama. But I'm even more afraid now. Because I am feeling a lot in my body lately. I don't know if they real or just paranoia. I will have my visit to my doctor next week. I'll bring the results then, Mama. 

    I don't know what to say. Lately I just feel... tired. I wish you were here, Mama.

    I need you.

                                                                                                    Daddy

June update

Dear Mama,

    Sorry, I wasn't able to write again for a while. It's already June and rainy season has started early this year, Mama. Good thing for Angel, it's not as hot as it used to be, although it's still hot when it's not raining.

    We just had our dinner and Ralph is getting ready for work, Mama.

    I'm back again in singing my compositions in front of public, Mama. The last one was last Sunday, June 1st, and the next one will be on July 12. My voice still cracks, Mama. I still get nervous. I'm just trying to hide it with my jokes. Wish I was really good so I can make it into another source of income. Wishful thinking, I know.

    There's another songwriting contest, Mama. This time by the popular group Bini. I am thinking of joining, Mama. I hope I can come up with a good song. This might be my chance. Not really expecting anything, but if I did not try I already failed.

    I guess that will all for now, Mama. I wish I can be with you soon.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                               Daddy

Angel's dilemma

Dear Mama,

    It's Friday, and Ralph just left for work. It's already 8:23 p.m. now, hope he'll be able to catch his shuttle bus to office. I'm waiting for his message, Mama.

    Angel's skin condition is worsening, Mama. It's because of the extreme heat we're having now. She was crying earlier because of pain and irritation, I did not know what to do. Good thing she calmed down when we were having our dinner. She's lying in Ralph's room now. There's more air there, that's why she's staying there for now.

    Just got a message from Ralph, Mama. At first I thought he was stuck in traffic, but his second message said he is already in the bus. Good thing he won't be late. 

    Please help me find the solution to Angel's condition, Mama. It's taking its toll on her health, and also her self-esteem. I don't know what to do, Mama. I'm sorry. If only you were here, this won't happen to her.

    I'm really sorry, Mama.

                                                                                                        Daddy

Happy anniversary, Mama!

Dear Mama,

    Happy anniversary!

    It's May 19, the day you said yes to be my girlfriend, although you were hesitant. Thank you for giving a chance, Mama. 

    It's also the day I fulfilled my promise of taking you to Manila Bay, Mama. I wish we could do it again.

    Happy anniversary, Mama!

    I miss you.

    I love you, Mama.

                                                                                                            Daddy

Another encounter with thieves

Dear Mama,

    Our water meter was stolen this morning. We were surprised when Ralph messaged us to say that it was stolen, Mama. At first, he said there's no water. He thought it was just another bad service from Primewater, but probably when he went out to buy something he saw that the water meter was already gone, and there was water overflowing in front of our house.

    When Edgar and I left for work at around 6 a.m., it was still there. Also, when Ralph arrived at around 7 a.m., he just discovered it around 9:30 a.m. He went to the barangay to report it, and then went to the police for the police report because it was required by primewater. After that, he went to the office of the water district. He hasn't slept yet, by the way, because he came from duty. Angel he said he was about to sleep when he discovered what happened.

    He was finished at around 1 p.m., unfortunately, they will go tomorrow to investigate. So, we'll have to wait until tomorrow before it get fixed.

    I'm worried, Mama. It happened once, it can happen again.

    I'm tired.

                                                                                                            Daddy

Happy Mother's Day, Mama!

Dear Mama,

    Happy Mother's Day!

    It's Mother's Day today, our children and I went out to celebrate, and also to escape the summer heat because it was so hot at home. As usual, we went to SM Clark, Mama. As expected, there were a lot of people.

    We had halo-halo as soon as we arrived at the mall, Mama. And then, we just walked around the mall. But Ralph's gout wanted to join the celebration. We had to find a place to sit down because he was having difficulty walking. We had our dinner at around 5 p.m. All courtesy of Ralph, Mama.

    After  dinner, we had coffee at Tim Horton's. We stayed there until almost 8 p.m. and then we went straight home. That's just how we celebrated, Mama. Food, a little walk, food again, and coffee.

    I am missing you more in celebrations like this, Mama. I wish you were still here. 

    I miss you, Mama. Happy Mother's Day!

    I love you.

                                                                                                            Daddy

My birthday celebration

Dear Mama,

    Our children and I went out today to celebrate my 57th birthday. We had an early dinner at a buffet restaurant, Mama. We went there because they have sashimi, and Ralph loves sashimi. It was his treat anyway, so we might as well go where he can get what he likes. There weren't much buffet restaurant that serves sashimi here, Mama.

    We went there at 5 p.m., Ralph, Angel, and I, while Edgar went there straight from his work. We just arrived about 3 minutes ahead of him, Mama. They also gave me a gift, Mama. Two (2) ball caps, light blue and pink, both embroidered with roy2dworld at the back. 

    After our dinner, we went to SM Clark, Mama. Just to while away our time, because I really did not feel like going home, yet. Before 8 p.m., Ralph proceeded to their shuttle bus located just near the mall, Mama. Edgar, Angel, and I stayed for a while, and then we went home at around 8:30 p.m.

    That's how we celebrated my birthday, Mama. It would have been happier if you were with us. I miss you more when there's celebration like this, Mama. Wish you were still here.

    I love you, Mama.

                                                                                                    Daddy

57 soon

Dear Mama,

    I'll be turning 57 in less than 48 hours. I did not really want to go out to celebrate or anything, Mama, but Ralph said we will be going to a buffet restaurant. I was reluctant because he had to work afterwards, but he insisted. I'm still trying to convince him not to proceed. We can do it on weekend anyway. 

    Remember what I said in my previous letter about the grill house beside us? I said they were not loud, right? I spoke too soon, Mama. Last night, they were loud. Not as loud as the previous owners, but we can hear them. That means they are already raising their volume, Mama. I'm starting to feel anxiety attacks again every night. I wish this will end soon. We only want a quiet and peaceful night, Mama.

    Anyway, that will be all for now, Mama. Edgar will be preparing our dinner soon.

    I hope you will visit me on my birthday, Mama.

    I miss you.

    I love you.

                                                                                                            Daddy

First of May

Dear Mama,

    Today is May 1st, and it's a holiday - it's Labor Day. Although I had work today, Mama. We moved our holiday for next Monday to coincide with the Labor Day in Australia. Ralph and Edgar did not work, and I met them together with Angel in SM after I got out from work.

    As usual, we just spent some time walking around the mall. Then Ralph had a haircut, afterwards we had our dinner at a buffet restaurant. Of course, courtesy of Ralph, Mama. Good thing they had a birthday promo of 3+1, and today being the first day of May, I am qualified because it's already my birth month! 

    We all had our fill, Mama. We did not get to eat everything, but we got to eat what we liked, and we were so full. I think it took us almost 2 hours dining, Mama because we did not eat in a hurry. Afterwards, we already went home. Angel did not want to go home yet, but I think Ralph was already tired and he wanted to go home.

    That will be all for now, Mama. I wish you were with us in times like this.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                        Daddy

Tuesday update

Dear Mama,

    It's 7:20 p.m., Tuesday. We just had our dinner, Mama. Ralph is getting ready to go to work. Angel is still out, though. We did not wait for her anymore because Ralph will be late if we did. She advised us earlier to go ahead and not wait for her. She might be home soon before Ralph goes to work, Mama.

    So far, Mama, the grill house  beside us that reopened has been quiet. They are not as loud as the one that was here before the pandemic. I surely hope it continues this way, Mama. And I hope I can already heal from this anxiety attacks I'm having as the evening approaches.

    It will the 10th year of company on October, and to celebrate, my officemates are planning to on a trip, and most probably it will be Thailand. The company will paying for the airfare and accommodation. For the expenses there, it will be on us - food, activities, etc. Because I did not join them last year in Japan, I am being egged to join them now. I don't know. It's like I am forced, Mama. The only problem is the pocket money. 

    Anyway, that will be all for now, Mama. It will be my birthday next week, and we still do not have any plans. I hope you will visit me on my birthday, Mama.

    I miss you.

    I love you, Mama.

                                                                                                      Daddy

Fridate with Angel

Dear Mama,

It's already past midnight but I thought I'd write a short letter before sleeping. Angel and I earlier went to SM Telabastagan where we had early dinner and then we looked around for a while.  

Ralph attended an event, and Edgar was with his officemates. It was just me and Angel, so I thought of taking her out.

After walking around the mall, we went to Angeles City for coffee. We went home at around 11 p.m., Mama.

I thought of taking Angel because she was sick earlier this week. She needed a little change of atmosphere. I hope it helped, Mama.

And that would be all, Mama. I did say it's just a short letter. Please guide our children. And please pray for my peace.

I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy 

They opened up

Dear Mama,

    They are opening up. I am talking about the grill house slash restobar beside us, Mama. The renovations are still ongoing, but they are already opening up probably to generate cash inflows. After all, they've been closed for more than a month due to renovations.

    I am not sure now if we're still to going to enjoy peaceful and quiet nights at home, Mama. They put some microphone and stage outside, and they were practicing probably last night. I can hear them, Mama. Maybe not as loud and annoying as the previous owners, but I can hear them.

    It has triggered my anxiety, Mama and I cannot function normally in my daily routines. There is always this fear of having chaotic nights due to noises, Mama. Worse, I cannot report them because they are in connection with the vice mayor already. I don't know how they are connected but I already saw her twice going to the place. The second one being their family's private event being held there. It seems they are already friends, if they weren't friends before.

    I don't know how to procced from here, Mama.

                                                                                                            Daddy

Monday after Easter

Dear Mama.

    It's the Monday after Easter, or what in Australia would be referred to as Easter Monday. It's their holiday today, Mama. That's why we did not have much work earlier at the office.

    We just had our dinner, and Ralph is preparing to go to work, Mama. It's quite early, just 7:16 p.m. I am hoping he will be able to leave for work early and not consume all his extra time and still reach 8 p.m. Which he is capable of doing, Mama. Anyway, I just hope he won't be late.

    Angel feels better now. Thank you very much, Mama.

    It will be my birthday in less 3 than weeks, and it looks like I won't be able to get my birthday wish, Mama. That is to be able to release my song in Spotify. Anyway, it's not important. Maybe I don't deserve it.

    I guess that will be all for now, Mama.

    Please continue guiding our children, Mama. And please pray for my peace.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                    Daddy

Easter Sunday

Dear Mama,

    Happy Easter!

    It's Easter Sunday, Mama. It's almost 9 a.m. and I just finished the laundry. The children are all awake. Ralph and Edgar had their breakfast earlier. Ralph bought pancit luglug and pandesal. Angel did not eat yet. She doesn't want to get up, Mama. She is better now, although she wants to rest.

    The long weekend is over and tomorrow we will be back to work. Back to reality, as they say, Mama. It has been a quiet 4 days here in our neighborhood. The restobar beside us is closed. Tomorrow, the renovations will continue, and I'm not sure if they will open tomorrow. But they are almost done, Mama. So, I don't know what to expect once everything's finished. I still don't understand why these businesses are allowed now in residential areas.

    It will be my birthday in less than 3 weeks, Mama. I don't have anything planned. But I do wish for the health of all our children and a peaceful life, especially in the house.

    I don't have anything more to say. Please make Angel feel better.

    I'm sorry, Mama.

                                                                                                    Daddy

Sorry, Mama. Angel is sick again

Dear Mama,

    As if things aren't already bad, it has gotten worse. Angel is sick again, Mama. I'm really sorry. I am not taking good care of our children. She was fine last night when she arrived home from the mall. 

    Please make her well, Mama.

    I'm sorry.

                                                                                                    Daddy

Worse

Dear Mama,

    I don't know what happened, but I don't think I can still continue. I'm tired, Mama. I want to go home with you. 

Saturday night

Dear Mama,

    It's around 7:30 p.m., Saturday. It's just me and Angel at home right now, Mama. Edgar attended the birthday party of his officemate, while Ralph attended an event that he's been joining almost every week for about a month now. They'll be home probably around 10 p.m. or later.

    Angel and I already had our dinner, Mama. I just ordered food for delivery. It costed me an extra money, but at least Angel was able to eat what she wanted to eat, Mama.

    I don't know what to say. 

    The restobar beside us is under renovation and they're not operating for more than 3 weeks now. That means it's been quiet for some time, Mama. However, the renovation work is about to be finished. Probably next week, or at least after Holy Week. I don't know what to expect after that, Mama. I'm not sure if we can still enjoy quiet evenings then.

    Sometimes I wish you were really reading my letters, Mama. I wish I can really talk to you.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                                Daddy

My APE results

Dear Mama,

    I had my annual physical examinations last Wednesday and the results were sent via email yesterday, Thursday. I checked them this morning, Mama. Everything seems to be okay. Everything, except the ECG, Mama.

    The reading says there is a deviation in my sinus rhythm on my left axis, and advised to consult with an internist. I hope it's nothing serious, Mama.

    I'm feeling a burst of paranoia attack right now.

                                                                                                        Daddy

Midweek update

Dear Mama,

    It's 10 p.m. now, Tuesday night. Ralph is already in his work, Mama. He left at 8 p.m. earlier. I just finished uploading another cover video on my TikTok account hahaha.... 

    Tomorrow is a holiday, Mama. But Edgar said they will be working tomorrow. I have no work, but I will leaving in the morning for our annual physical examination, Mama. I hope everything will be okay.

    Remember the stupid idea I had last time, Mama? The one where I planned in joining the audition for an acoustic singer in a restobar? Well, I did not join, Mama. I was not able to find the courage. I did not have the guts, Mama. That's why I'm just singing on TikTok haha...

    Anyway, I just want to say hi. I hope I am making you proud, or at least happy somehow, Mama.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                            Daddy

A stupid idea

 Dear Mama,

    Ralph has left for work. He should be reaching the terminal any minute now, Mama. Edgar is washing the dishes, and Angel is still asleep. She did not join us for dinner earlier. She'll just have her dinner when she wakes up later, Mama.

    Yesterday, we went out for dinner and coffee just here in Marisol, Mama. We were supposed to leave at around 6 p.m., but it started raining. We were able to leave at around 7:30 p.m. We had ramyun first, and then we had coffee. They were just beside each near the main gate, Mama. We went home past 9 p.m.

    I had a very stupid idea, Mama. I'm even laughing at myself for thinking about it. There will be an audition for an acoustic singer/performer at a restobar here in Angeles City. It's quite a popular place, Mama because a celebrity is part-owner of the place. 

    I have this crazy idea that I want to join the audition, Mama. It's stupid I know. I don't have a beautiful voice, I don't play the guitar well, and I'm not even good-looking to begin with. So, why am I dreaming? 

    I was just hoping I could still be a good performer, Mama. You know, music and humor, which is my brand. But again, I am doubting myself. Should I join, Mama?

                                                                                                            Daddy