Just another weekend

 Dear Mama,

    It's Saturday, 11:30 a.m., Ralph is cooking our lunch today. Edgar just got home from the dentist. Angel is still sleeping, but Edgar is trying to wake her up. We'll be having lunch in a while.

    I am working on my educational talk for next Friday, Mama. I will be trying to share some tips on speech writing. I hope I will be able to share something of value. I am done with my draft, and will just be preparing my slides, and practice my talk.

    I'm not sure if we'll be going out today, Mama. Probably we won't. I have no money to spend, so I guess we'll just be staying home this weekend.

    I am having anxieties again lately, Mama. I really wish we can transfer to a new home. It feels like I'm being drained here, especially at night. It seems like at any given night we'll be hearing loud music, noises, voices, etc. I'm trying to control myself, but I can't.

    Anyway, we'll be having lunch in a while so I better fix my things. I miss you, Mama. I really need your hug right now.

    I love you, Mama.

                                                                                            Daddy

Ralph's birthday

 Dear Mama,

    Yesterday, we celebrated Ralph's 30th birthday. As usual, by eating out. I don't have the guts to hold a birthday party and invite people. So, we just celebrated among ourselves.

    Before we celebrated, I went out ahead of the kids, Mama. I went to my doctor for the quarterly check up. It was okay, since I have already seen the lab results. I just have to continue with my maintenance medicines. I guess I will be taking them until I am finished, Mama. I am no longer exercising. Well, at least I'm still breathing, unfortunately.

    After my check up, I went to SM City Clark to wait for the kids. They arrived at around 4:00 p.m., and we roamed around looking for a place to eat. Then settled for the buffet, which was Ralph's choice, since he is the celebrant.

    We went inside the department store after dinner, and then went home immediately. It was a simple celebration. Oh yes, I forgot, I bought birthday cake in the morning so and we sang happy birthday to Ralph. I only bought him t-shirts as birthday gift, though. Hope it's just okay with him.

    Anyway, that was how we celebrated, Mama. I wish you were still here with us. I miss you more on occasions like this.

    I love you, Mama.

                                                                                        Daddy

How can I free myself?

 Dear Mama,

    It will be the birthday of our firstborn on Wednesday. Ralph will be 30 years old by then, Mama. Can you imagine, that?! It means I'm really, really old! We do not have any plans yet on what to do for his birthday. We might go out, we still do not know where. I've filed a leave of absence for that day, Mama. I will also have my quarterly check up with doctor my then, since Ralph will be working and we will be celebrating after his work.

    I still do not have any gift for Ralph, Mama. I don't know what to give him or buy for him. We might just buy him t-shirts, as suggested by Angel, since I have rejected most of her other suggestions. I will be looking for gifts on Tuesday, after work, Mama.

    The results of my recent lab tests, which I will be bringing to the doctor on Wednesday, are all good, Mama. Meaning they are all within limit - my uric acid, sugar, cholesterol, etc. Probably it's because I've taking maintenance medicine. My doctor might probably prescribe me to continue them. At least they won't be increasing in dosage. I hope.

    I am actually not feeling well, Mama. I don't know if it's real or just paranoia. I easily get tired, even from my usual daily walk to and from office. Probably because I am not really exercising, nor am I watching my diet. I actually stress-eat sometimes, Mama.

    Lately, I've been having lots of anxiety attacks. I fear a lot of things will happen, and the things I wish to happen will not happen. It's taking its toll on me, Mama. I am irritated most of the time, especially when I am at home. And I feel down every time I remember all my failures. When will I free myself from these feelings, Mama?

    Sorry, Mama. I don't wish to burden you with these nonsense. It's just so difficult when you have no one talk to.

    Anyway, I've said enough. Until my next letter, Mama.

    I miss you.

    I love you.

                                                                                                Daddy