1st of May

Dear Mama,

    It's my birth month! I know I'm acting like I'm excited, but I'm not really, Mama. It's just another year of accomplishing nothing! And I really can't blame anybody because I'm a chronic procrastinator, aside from I'm not really good at what I am trying to accomplish.

    Anyway, the heat is really getting worse here, Mama. If only I could relocate to Baguio easily I will, just to escape this exaggerated heat we are experiencing now.

    That will be all for now, Mama. What will happen between today and my birthday, I'm really not sure. I'm just glad I only have 2 more months to go as an Area Director. Then it will be back to the cave of irrelevance for me.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                                     Daddy

Edgar's business

Dear Mama,

    I can't remember if I already mentioned this in my previous letters, but Edgar is really keen in starting his own business. He has been looking and thinking of a side hustle for many years now, and since the start of this month he is already buying the things he needs for his business.

    He is going to start his fishball business, Mama. First he bought the cart, then started buying all the other things - butane stove and butane cylinders, containers for the sauces and drinks, sticks and plastic cups, and other things he needs.

    At first he was planning to hire someone to take the fishball cart and sell for him, although the way I see it, Mama he wants to try selling fishball himself. Of course he will do it outside of this work schedule. He does not have any idea about the business, that's probably why he wants to try it himself first. Let's wish him luck and good experience in his endeavor, Mama.

    Ralph is not yet here. He went to Enchanted Kingdom with his previous co-workers. The company he used to worked in had a team building there, and somebody decided to list him as their +1 since they are allowed to bring one non-employee to EK. He'll be home probably late tonight, Mama.

    Angel will be having another job interview this week. She is also waiting for replies from the companies she applied in. So far, she hasn't received any feedback yet. I hope she'll find a job, and company, she will be staying for a long while.

    As for me, nothing's new, Mama. Just the same old tired and anxious me.

    Anyway, that will be all for now, Mama. I wish I can be with you soon.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                        Daddy

It's almost May

Dear Mama,

    April is about to end, and then May will come. My birth month is coming and I will be 56. I'm really getting old, Mama. I know, talked about that in my past letter.

    The truth, Mama is I really don't know what to say. I want to talk to you. I want to say something, but I don't know what. I feel lost, Mama. I don't know where I am now in my life and what should I do or where to go.

    I know I'm not making sense, Mama. 

    I just wish I could be with you, Mama.

                                                                                        Daddy 

Hot Sunday

Dear Mama,

    It Sunday afternoon, 4 p.m., and it's very hot! Ralph and Edgar are sleeping right now. Angel wants to sleep, too but she can't because it's so hot. The electric fans doesn't seem to be of much help. It's really very hot lately, Mama.

    Ralph was supposed to get his haircut this afternoon, Mama. However, he fell asleep after lunch. Probably because he wasn't able to sleep last night. You know he's been working graveyard shift, probably why he can't sleep at night even when he doesn't have work.

    That's all I have to say, Mama. I hope you will visit me soon in my dreams.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                    Daddy

 

Old

Dear Mama,

    I am getting old.

    I guess it's inevitable, Mama. I am really getting old. Not just because I am turning 56 next month, I can really feel it, Mama. I am getting old.

    This afternoon I was seated in front of a PUJ, beside the driver, on my way home after work. I happened to glanced at the side mirror, Mama and I saw my face - white hairs on my head, little hairs sprouting from my chin which are also white, and the face of an old, haggard, and defeated man.

    I can only sigh, Mama.

    And it's not just the physical features, Mama. I also get tired easily. Everyday I walk on my way to work and I feel tired once I reached our office. It wasn't like that before, Mama. On my way home after work, I often chose to ride the jeepney because it feels like I might not survive the heat of the sun if I walk. It wasn't like that before, Mama.

    There's nothing I can do about it.

    The only thing worse than growing old is growing old alone.

    I wish you were here.

                                                                                                    Daddy

Heal me

Dear Mama,

    I had my lab test and check up this morning for our annual physical examination. I hope the results are okay, Mama. I've not been really exercising nor watching my diet lately, but I'm taking my maintenance medicines, Mama. 

    Edgar is planning to start a business, Mama. I hope he will be successful in his business and learn from his first endeavor. 

    Ralph is still working, although he is looking for other opportunities, too. I am worried about his gout, Mama. It seems to be getting out of hand. He cannot walk normal anymore. I've been asking him to have it checked. It could be more than gout.

    Angel is still looking for a job. I hope she finds one where she can stay longer so I won't be worried too much about her once I'm gone.

    About me, nothing much. Still living with all these anxieties inside me. 

    That will be all for now, Mama. I hope to be with you soon. I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                    Daddy

April updates

Dear Mama,

    After our trip to Bacolod, we rested for a while. We had not much activity as a family aside from the grocery shopping. Edgar and Ralph had some occasional bonding time with their friends, Angel stayed mostly at home, while I have been to some Toastmasters activities.

    However, yesterday we went out. We accompanied Angel to Marquee who had an interview in a BPO located there. Ralph, Edgar, and I just looked around the mall while waiting for Angel, who did not take long because they advised her she was just shortlisted. So, we just walked around the mall looking around. We bought cat food to feed the kittens that are staying in our house, Mama.

    At around 5 p.m. we decided to leave. Instead of going home, Angel suggested we try the new coffee shop in Marisol, so we proceeded there. We spent a lot of time at the coffee shop, Mama. They have lots of board and card games at the coffee shop which the customers can use. Edgar picked the Monopoly game board because it seems it was the only game all of us could play. There are a lot more games, Mama but I may not be able to play them. Thus, we played the Monopoly.

    Of course, Monopoly is not a game that we can finish, Mama. We played for more than 3 hours. We were not finished when we stopped at 9 p.m.  But we had lots of fun, Mama. Angel enjoyed the game, most of us did. Although, if we proceeded to finish I might be the first one to go bankrupt because I was already losing money. We enjoyed our time together last night, Mama. I wish we can have more opportunities like that. I hope you were watching us last night, Mama and laughing at us.

    We miss you, Mama. I miss you.

    I love you, Mama.

                                                                                                           Daddy