We lost another dog

Dear Mama,

    September was really hard on us. Perhaps the only highlight of this month so far was the birthday of Ralph, and for the rest of the month,  we have struggled a lot.

    I mentioned in a previous letter that we lost G. I thought that was the end, Mama. Just yesterday, Saturday, we lost Loki. I had no plans of getting another puppy, Mama, but last Sunday evening, late in the evening, actually, Noli came knocking on our gate and he brought a new puppy. He did not even ask if I wanted a new puppy. He just came and delivered the puppy. I was hesitant to accept the puppy because I have not yet gotten over with the loss of G, Mama. I did not know what to say. We named him Loki.

    Monday, Loki was still fine. He was a bit thin and quite shy or inactive, but he was fine. He was still eating. Tuesday, he no longer wanted to eat nor drink. He was still mobile, but he was mostly sleeping all throughout the day. 

    Wednesday, Ralph took Loki to the vet because we don't want to lose another dog. He was tested positive with parvo, and he had infection in his blood, too. He was confined, so Ralph left him at the clinic. They were sending us video updates of his condition. Saturday morning, they sent a message that Loki crossed the rainbow bridge, Mama.

    That would be the last dog for us now, Mama. We won't be getting another one, not even if they bring them on our doorstep.

    That is all I wanted to say for now, Mama. I just wanted to get this out of my system. I wish you were here.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                                Daddy

Ralph's birthday

Dear Mama,

    It's Ralph birthday today. He turns 31 today, Mama. We celebrated it as usual by going out. We went to a buffet restaurant where they have sashimi because I know Ralph loves sashimi, Mama. We went there during lunch time. And Ralph was not disappointed because he was able to eat his favorite food. Unlike in a bigger buffet restaurant where the sashimi is limited and always ran out. Today he was able to get his fill.

    Afterwards, we went to the mall, Mama. I thought I could buy him eyeglasses because his eyeglass was already broken. It turned out it was more expensive and the money I prepared wasn't enough. But Ralph still had his eye checked and ordered a new glass. I just gave him the money I allotted for him, and he paid for the rest. Anyway, he said he would be able to reimburse it from his company. I hope so, Mama.

    And then we bought a cake for Ralph before going home. When we finally got home, we sang happy birthday for Ralph, Mama. But we did not eat anymore cake because everybody was still full, and tired. They all went to sleep while I did the laundry.

    They are still sleeping until now while I'm writing this, Mama. It's already 8:30 p.m., it was around 4 p.m. when we got home earlier. I guess they are really tired. I also feel sleepy, I guess I will be sleeping soon. 

    At least we were able to celebrate Ralph's birthday, and I was able to update you. Wish you were still with us in celebrations like this, Mama.

    I miss you.

    I love you, Mama.

                                                                                                        Daddy

G said goodbye

Dear Mama,

    It's a sad Monday for us. G said goodbye this morning, Mama. She wasn't eating since Friday evening. She was still mobile, but not as playful as she was in previous days. Angel was planning to bring her to the vet today. 

    At around 5 a.m., she approached the door showing her intention to go out. Ralph opened the door to allow her to go out. He also stayed outside with G for a while. Angel also checked on her, while I took a bath to prepare for work. As I finished taking a bath, I saw Angel going to the room quickly thinking nothing of  it.

    I went straight outside to check on G, and saw her in the garage lying lifeless. I went inside to check on Angel and she was crying, telling me that G already died. I was speechless, Mama. She was just full of life last week.

    Fluffy left us just last May, and in just 4 months, G followed. We lost 4 dogs since the pandemic, Mama. G was the shortest to have stayed with us. I saw her on the street just last October 2021, and picked her up for fear she might get ran over by cars and tricycles passing by. I asked around and nobody was claiming her, that's why she stayed with us. She was a playful and lively dog, Mama. I will miss her.

    I don't think I'll be getting another dog for some time, Mama. It seems I am not a good dog-parent. I don't know how to take care of them, Mama.

    This is really a sad Monday, Mama. I wish you were here.

                                                                                                        Daddy

P.S. I love you, Mama.

Sorry for not writing

Dear Mama,

    I'm sorry for not writing to you lately. My last letter was May, and it's already September. It's already Christmas season here in the Philippines haha...

    The truth Mama was, I was really planning to write another letter but every time I sat down in front of my laptop, I didn't know what to say. My mind would always go blank, Mama. But I know, deep inside me, I wanted to say a lot to you. I wanted to talk to you, Mama.

    My mental state has been on a rollercoaster ride these past months, Mama. Sometimes I would feel high and excited, then suddenly I would feel low and filled with anxiety. Most of these anxieties happen when I'm at home, Mama. Ironic because I am supposed to be relaxed here, but you know the situation in our neighborhood, Mama.

    Anyway, Angel is working again, Mama. She said she would stay longer in her work now. I hope so. She is also running her online selling business. She started it when she was not yet working, she said she will continue with her business even though she is already working. Still a long way to go, but she's getting better in handling her finances now, Mama. Compared to how she was before.

    Ralph and Edgar are still in their same company. Although Ralph now has to report to the office once a week. They used to have a complete work-from-home set up. But the government was requiring BPOs to have a certain percentage of manpower that should report to office. Hence, their set up now.

    I am now an Area Director in Toastmasters, Mama. My term started last July 1st. I am not even sure what I am doing, So far, I am surviving. I am not sure when training and contest season comes. Because I need to organize events and people, and I cannot do that, Mama. I hope I'll find my way around.

    Next week Ralph will be turning 32, Mama. Time flies really fast. Imagine our eldest being 32 already! Unfortunately, he's still single, Mama. So, no grandchildren coming anytime soon. We will be celebrating Ralph's birthday, as usual, by eating out.

    I guess I have already said a lot. I wish I can write more often to you, Mama. I miss you. Please visit me in my dreams, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                            Daddy

Belated happy anniversary, Mama!

 Dear Mama,

    Belated happy anniversary! 

    The kids and I went out to eat last Friday to celebrate the anniversary of the day you said yes and became my girlfriend. I still remember how hesitant you were then, and I knew that the  reason you said say was just to help me moved on, and to make sure you'd be able to get home safe then.

    Thank you, Mama. that was the only opportunity I needed. And I was lucky you appreciated all my efforts then. Happy anniversary again, Mama.

    I really don't know what to say right now, I mean without complaining, that is haha... But I'm trying my best, Mama. I know, the kids are trying their best, too.

    I hope someday things will get better for all of us, and will make you really proud.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                            Daddy

Almost 55

Dear Mama,

    On Monday, I will be celebrating my 55th birthday. That's just 2 days from now. I really don't have anything planned, Mama. But I took a leave of absence from work on Monday, maybe I'll just stay home and do nothing like I always do.

    Before that, I would like to tell you about our last weekend, Mama. We had our Toastmasters District Convention in Manila. Angel stayed with me, although she just stayed in the hotel while I attended our 3-day event. Angel went with me on the first day, while Ralph and Edgar came on Sunday because they had to attend the birthday of their niece on Saturday. We went home last Monday, May 1st, Mama.

    Anyway, back to my birthday. As I've mentioned, I really don't have any plan, Mama. I even don't have anything in mind - no gift, no event, no nothing! I just wish we could continue living in a peaceful environment. Unfortunately, that may not be the case, Mama. Since the construction on the grill beside us might be finished anytime this month. I hope it won't be too noisy.

    That will be all for now, Mama. I don't really have anything to look forward to right now.

    I miss you, Mama. I love you.

                                                                                                            Daddy

Earth Day 2023

Dear Mama,

    Yesterday, I took part in the celebration of the Earth Day in our city. I was one of the performers during the Earth Day concert held at Astro Park. Unbelievable, right Mama? If only you were still here, you would have been proud. I'm not sure though if you'd be proud of my performance haha...

    Our 3 kids watched last night, Mama. It was the first time they were all present. Usually, it was only Ralph who'd come to watch me. Good thing Edgar and Angel also came yesterday. I had some blunders in my chords that somehow affected my singing, but the kids say they did not notice.

    The only reason I was part of the program, Mama was because I was a finalist in the songwriting contest held last year. It was a brief 15-minutes of pain, so to speak. 

    After my set, the kids and I watched some of the other performers. At around 7pm, we left to eat. We weren't able to watch Lolita Carbon and the Asin Band, as they came in at around 11pm.

    Next weekend will be our District Convention in Toastmasters. Angel will be coming with me, and she'll stay in the hotel while I attend the event. Ralph and Edgar will be coming to join us on the last day.

    My 55th birthday is coming soon, Mama. I really don't know what to do. I want to escape. I want to rest. I want all my anxiety to be over. But I know that is not yet possible.

    Anyway, that will be all for now, Mama. Until my next letter.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                    Daddy

Quite the Holy Week

Dear Mama,

    Holy week just passed, but we still do not have work today (Monday) because of the extended holiday since the official holiday, April 9, fell on Sunday (yesterday). 

    It was a quiet holy week for us, thank God. But it does have its troubles - Ralph and Edgar were not feeling well from Wednesday to Friday, and only felt better on Saturday. Now, it's Angel's turn to be sick. She has fever right now, Mama. Good thing I still do not have work today.

    We never went out during the long break, Mama. We were not even able to continue our tradition of Visita Iglesia every Holy Thursday. That's why I'm really puzzled what caused our children to be sick, Mama. I hope Angel feels better soon. She does not want me to be absent for work tomorrow.

    Anyway, that will be all for now, Mama. I hope it will be quiet this evening as the grill house next door opens again today.

    Please help Angel be well, Mama.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                Daddy