Saturday, February 13, 2010

So, what would it be?

Dear Mama,

Inevitable as it is, the day has to come. Although I don't want to, February 14 has to pass, and I really don't know how to handle the day... the day that you "went home," Mama.

Like what I asked you in my last letter, "how should I greet you on this day Mama?"

It would be so foolish and outright stupid of me to greet you a happy valentine on the very day that you left us. I can greet you on other occasions, but I can't greet you on valentine's day, Mama. And I really don't know how it could affect the kids, I hope I am not ruining their valentine's day by not celebrating it with them. Honestly, I don't know how they are feeling about this day, Mama. I don't want to drag them into this.

I miss you Mama. I wish you were still here, and I won't be having this problem but instead celebrate this day with you.

There's nothing I can do now. That's the truth, and while I have learned to accept it, there would always be times that I'll be looking for you, Mama. I will always miss you, nobody accepted the real me like you do.

You were always there to push me up when I'm feeling down and I feel like I can't go on. You believe in me when I don't even trust myself to do the things I need to do. If only it weren't an unselfish act, I would do something to be with you right this moment, Mama.

I'm tired. I'm trying my best to keep my head up, but it's just hard.

I need you, Mama.