We were able to celebrate, after all

Dear Mama,

Sorry for not writing to you immediately. We were able to celebrate Edgar's birthday after all. The money came just in the nick time, right after I felt I was done for. We just went out to eat, I also bought Edgar's request which was a new cellphone. We weren't able to watch movie though, because we were late for the last full show.

During occasion like this, Mama, I really wish that you were still with us. The kids would have been happier. I would have been happier.

Sorry, Mama. Here I go again. I know I shouldn't really be talking like this. But I really miss you, Mama. I do.

Take care of yourself now. I know it won't be long 'til I will be with you again.

I love you Mama.


Daddy

Edgar turns 15 today

Dear Mama,

Today is Edgar's birthday. He turns 15 today. Time really flies very fast, I still recall when they were still so young... and you were still with us.

I don't know how we can celebrate today's occasion Mama, since I don't have money yet. Hopefully, by this afternoon I can get my salary so I can at least take the kids out to eat.

I wish you were here with us, I'm sure Edgar would be happy. We miss you Mama... I miss you. It seems to be getting harder each day. People think everything is okay, but of course, I just don't let it show.

Really looking forward to the day I can be with you again.

Take care of yourself, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

I need you...

Dear Mama,

I need you... I don't feel okay.

Wish you're beside so I could just hold your hand.

I wish...

Still missing you...

Dear Mama,

Here I am again, trying to talk to you... as though I can. I am not lacking in faith, Mama. I know you can read my letters. I just wish I can read your answers too. I really wish I can hear you talk to me too.

I am not complaining, Mama. But it's not really easy, being alone without you by my side. I know I have to carry on. That's what I hate about this... there's nothing I can do. I have to be strong, for the sake of the kids... even if the truth is, I am not.

How long I can still hold on, I really don't know Mama. I hope long enough to see the kids learn how to stand on their own feet. Until then, I'll just keep this facade... that only you can see through, Mama.

Sorry, I know you don't like me talking like this. I really miss you, Mama. I can't wait to be with you once again.

Take care of yourself.

I love you, Mama.


Daddy

Lots of things are happening

Dear Mama,

There are lots of things happening lately... opportunities, problems, at work, the kids... everywhere! Sometimes, even if I don't want it, they have something to do with me, one way or the other.

The worst part of it all Mama, is that I'm taking all of these alone. I miss the times when you were still here and I can talk to you about my silliest problem or even my simplest joy. It's all kept inside now Mama... where they will stay until we'll be together again.

I do hope that day will come soon.

Take care of yourself, Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Please come...

I need you...

Good morning, Mama...

Dear Mama,

Good morning. Another day starts... another day without you. I miss you, Mama.

Take care.

I love you.

Daddy

I miss you... I wish you were here Mama

Dear Mama,

What is all the purpose of all these opportunities coming to me now, when you are not here to share all these with me?

It all seem empty and useless... I really wish you were here Mama.

I miss you.

I love you Mama.

Daddy

Angel, Ralph, Edgar... and a tired me

Dear Mama,

Came home late again today. It seems that I've been stressed a lot lately Mama and yet I don't seem to accomplish anything. I'm tired Mama. Of course you know that. I hope you're hearing me every time  I call your name... which is quite often lately, calling on you to come for me.

Got into another argument with Ralph again this evening, Mama. He doesn't want to follow my simple instruction. Is it me? I don't know, looks like I'm not much good of a father that I can't make my own son listen to me. I guess I have to be thankful that he is a good son, at least.

Angel was busy, Edgar was sleepy. Angel was busy preparing some surprise for their teacher's birthday, while Edgar slept early because he was tired this past few days because of the practice that they have been doing for their performance, plus their school project.

And me, looks like I've been shouting again Mama. I'm sorry.

I guess I will stop here Mama. Take care of yourself. I miss you Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Angel doesn't want me to

Dear Mama,

I told Angel a while ago that I am planning to resign from my work, and she asked me why. Apparently, she doesn't want me to resign. She told me that I may not be able to find another job after this.

I wasn't really able to give a reason for her "why" Mama. I really don't have any reason... a valid reason at least. All I have is a very selfish reason, just because I want to do the things that I want to do. I've been looking, waiting, for a logical reason, but I can't find any Mama.

The truth is, Mama, it seems I cannot work efficiently anymore. Somehow, I'm not the same old me when it comes to working. I thought I am already getting my rhythm back, but no. I'm still having a hard time, especially when I am hounded by pressures and deadline.

Help me, Mama. Help do the things that I need to do. Please come to me, Mama. I need you.


Daddy

Having that feeling again...

Dear Mama,

Please help me, I'm having that feeling again. I hope I will make the right decision... between what I like to do and what I must do.

Wish you were here... I know you can help me decide on this Mama. I wish you were here.

Take care of yourself. I miss you Mama.

I love you.


Daddy