Angel's cake, the songwriting contest, and a possible new job

Dear Mama,

When I came home this evening, Angel told me that she brought home a cake. I thought it was just cake slice which she bought or brought home from a party or something. But it was a whole chocolate cake, which apparently was given to her by a boy who has a crush on her. I was just smiling Mama, as she was telling me. I didn't want to make her afraid or feel awkward in telling me about things like this. At least she's still being honest and open. Our baby is really growing up fast, Mama.

Speaking of which, she was asking permission from me to allow her to join cosplayers this Saturday. It will held in Clark, and she will be going with some of her classmates. She did not even ask for money to rent her costume, Mama. She just saved her allowances, just so I won't get mad at her if she asks money. Although I have, in a way, said yes, I'm still worried about her, Mama. But she really wants it. I really hope she'll be just fine and safe this weekend on her first cosplay.

I have also received an email from ABS-CBN's Himig-Handog, Mama. The email acknowledged that they have received my song entry for the songwriting contest and have given me my entry number. I wish I would make good this time, Mama. Wish me luck.

Lastly, it is not yet sure Mama, but I have a new job soon. Until things get better at my work now. It's really fine as it is now, Mama, but the prospects are really looking bleak. I just hope a project gets approved soon so I have more basis to weigh things.

Well, I guess that's about all for now, Mama. Please take care of yourself. I really miss you, Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Another blessing...

Dear Mama,

I received another blessing yesterday. I was surprised to hear that Julius has sent money for me. I was not expecting it, Mama. I haven't asked from him or from Ate Let. But it came at the most perfect time, Mama. I need to pay for the kids' tuition fee installment soon.

But I was thinking, Mama. With all these help coming to me, should I still be proud that I am being able to take care of the kids and send them to school? When almost half of the money I spend on their needs are coming from support... alms... from friends and relatives? Is that something I should be proud of?

I am thankful, Mama. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining, especially since I am very much aware that I need these supports. But others are congratulating me... praising me... and saying a lot of good words to me because I am able to raise the kids by myself. If only they knew, I only made it because of the support of other people... if only they knew, Mama.

Anyway, if it inspires them, I'll just let it be. I'll just smile and say thank you to them.

Oh well, until my next letter, Mama. I don't anything nice or happy to say anymore Take care of yourself always. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

I joined another songwriting contest

Dear Mama,

I joined another songwriting contest. This time it's the ABS-CBN's Himig Handog Songwriting Competition. I submitted again the song I wrote for her, Mama. I know I have a very slim chance given the poor quality of my voice and the recording, but you know my reason why I am submitting the song, Mama. It's for her to hear it once it gets played on national TV.

After losing in the PhilPop songwriting contest, I was already having second-thoughts if I should still join the contest in Channel 2, but I figured that if I didn't try, I will never win. I will never have the chance, right? Or am I just dreaming again, Mama?

I also saw another opportunity, Mama. Channel 2 will be holding a scriptwriting workshop and it will be for free. But they will screen the participants, Mama. I just hope I will have a chance, because from their requirements, they might be prioritizing those with scriptwriting background. However, I will still try my luck, Mama. I will submit an application form and just hope for the best.

One problem is that, the workshop will be for three months, I just don't know if it would be a stay-in workshop or a weekend workshop. It would be a good experience if it would be a stay-in workshop, but I cannot afford to be without income for 3 months, Mama. I hope it's a weekend workshop so I can join. Oh well, I'm still not sure if I would be qualified anyway.

That would be all for now, Mama. Thank you for listening to me. I really miss you, Mama. I could use a hug right now. Take care of yourself. I miss you Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Days go on...

Dear Mama,

It's the second day of the silly bet and I'm not really having a bad time coping... I just keep myself busy. But that wasn't the reason I am writing. Angel is already in school, the two boys are still sleeping. After this letter, I will be preparing for work. It's just another day, Mama. Nothing really exciting to look forward to.

Sometimes, life can be a drag. I don't know, Mama. I really don't know if I really feel down or just bored. Sometimes I even ask myself why should I even get up in the morning?

Oh well, I don't like the tone this letter is getting. I just better get ready for work. Take care of yourself, Mama. I miss your hugs. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

A silly bet

Dear Mama,

Last night, a friend dared me on a bet. She said that I should stop posting my feelings about Gail on Facebook. She, as well as my other friends, thinks that I'm overdoing it and exposing myself too much. I said because that's how I am. That's how I express myself. I knew she meant well, Mama. I knew they all meant well. I knew they were all concerned about me.

My friend said that if I stopped, maybe Gail would notice. I said that would be impossible because whether I post or not wouldn't matter to her. As far as she is concerned, I do not exist... in spite of the things I've done for her, some of which she wasn't even aware of. And that's how the bet started, Mama.

So for two months, I will not post or write, at least on Facebook, about my feelings for her. I just do not know how much I can hold myself. Maybe it would really do me good. Maybe she would notice, or maybe not. I don't know. Let's see.

By the way, last night after I said goodbye to you in my letter Angel was already done cooking. I was surprised because I'm sure it was less than 10 minutes. When I entered the kitchen, there was smoke all over. So I told her, starting today I will just be the one to cook when I arrive home. Of course, that would only mean we will have late dinners. But at least I won't be worried, I can teach her later. She has more time to learn.

Well, I need to prepare for work now Mama. Take care of yourself. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Angel is cooking now

Dear Mama,

Angel is cooking now. I mean, right at this very moment. I am just letting her on her own and trying to refrain myself from taking a peak in the kitchen to see how she's doing. She just finished cooking rice and now she's frying chicken nuggets. She has to learn somehow, right Mama?

I do hope she learns in time, Mama. But I have to cut my letter short because I need to get ready anytime she calls me. Until next letter, Mama. Take care of yourself.

I miss you, Mama. I love you.


Daddy

Father's Day with the kids

Dear Mama,

Yesterday was Father's Day and I was fortunate enough to celebrate it with the kids. We went to Marquee Mall to buy some things Edgar needed for school and stayed awhile, walking around while waiting for time. Then we went to a grill restaurant for dinner and to a fastfood for dessert. It's very seldom that I can do this with the kids lately, Mama. I was just glad that they were complete yesterday.

Well, we almost did not make it Mama. I mean, we almost did not celebrate Father's Day. Ralph was sick the other day and Angel was feeling some pain in her stomach area which has something to do with her monthly period. And to top it all, they made me angry an hour before we were about to go. They were quarreling and arguing over some senseless things and they did not want to stop even if I was telling them to stop. Until I got angry and shouted at them, it was only then that they stopped. I 'm sorry I shouted again, Mama. I was thinking if should take them out after that. Of course, I decided we still had to go, perhaps we needed to go out.

That will be all for now, Mama. Please take care of yourself. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Edgar is sick

Dear Mama,

Edgar is sick, and it his first day of school today. Knowing him, he will still go to school later. I cannot stay home and look after him, Mama. I hope he gets well before his school time.

I woke up with Angel giving him medicine. I need to prepare breakfast now, Mama. Angel will be going to school anytime.

Bye for now, Mama. Take care of yourself. I miss you.

I love you Mama.


Daddy

Down... and up... down again...

Dear Mama,

This is tiring. Feeling up and all hyped up one moment, and then down and so low the next. It's crazy, I know. If only you were here Mama, I could just hold your hands or ask for a hug, and I would actually feel better. But as it is, you are not here Mama. I'm all alone. Ironically, one of the reasons of this low feeling is the pursuit of someone to fill the void you left. Am I being selfish, Mama?

Don't worry, Mama. The kids' welfare are not being sacrificed. They are still being taken care of. They are still my priority, just as I promised you. I will never put them second to none. Not even to her who would not even look my way.

But you know my feelings, Mama. You know the truth. I'm sure you know the sincerity in me.

I really wish I can hold your hands and hug you right now, Mama. I miss you.

Take care.

I love you.


Daddy

Loss again....

Dear Mama,

I loss again in the songwriter contest. She will never hear the song I wrote for her