Dear Mama,

Ralph is still not home. It's his second day at his out-of-town trip with the JPIA. Yes Mama, he still went on. I did not do anything to stop him. He wanted to go. I hope he will be safe, Mama.

We just had our dinner. We had instant noodles, Mama. We still haven't received our salary. I'm not really worried about what we're going to eat, Mama. It's the children's schooling that concerns me. They will all be having their final examinations in two-weeks time and I do not see any means of how to pay their balances in their tuition fees. I'm running out of my mind thinking what to do. I am failing Mama.  Help me.


Daddy

Dear Mama,

Today is Edgar's first day of training at Jollibee. He said he was assigned at the grilling station. I hope he will enjoy his experience there and learn from it. I am a bit worried, though. As much as possible, I really do not want to influence him in his decisions. I am concern with his studies. I guess this is also an opportunity for him to learn time management.

Angel already went to school today. She seems better now, Mama. Although she said she is not yet 100% okay. I'm sorry I was not able to do anything, Mama. I can only pray, Mama. I'm really sorry.

Ralph is persistent on attending that out-of-town trip. He wrote me a letter explaining himself, Mama. I don't know, I can't say anything.His reasoning only shows how much a failure I am in guiding our children. I can't help but think that if only they were left with you instead of me, they would have been better kids.

Today is the start of hot air balloon fiesta here, Mama. As usual, I wasn't able to take the kids. They have grown up and yet they have never been to that event. I always wish I can take them there. Anyway, I'll end my letter here, Mama. Take care of yourself. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Dear Mama,

Angel did not go school today. She was complaining of pain in her abdomen last night and she said it was still painful this morning. She opted to rest. I hope it's nothing serious, Mama and that She'll be fine soon. I had to leave her, though. I need to go to work. I wish I could take her to the doctor, unfortunately that is not possible right now and you know why, Mama. All I did last night was pray.

I'm sorry Mama. I'm trying my best to take care of the kids. I know I'm failing. I wish I could do more. I'm really sorry.


Daddy

Dear Mama,

Edgar will be having his first interview today. I hope he passes this one so he will have a chance to experience working in the fastfood establishment. I'm sure he will enjoy it. I am praying however that he won't enjoy it too much that he would neglect his studies. But I always remind him, all three of them actually, to prioritize their studies before anything else.

It will be Nanay's birthday in two week's time, Mama. I was hoping I could do something special for her, like take the whole family out. Unfortunately, it looks like it won't be happening this year. There are still no signs of getting anything as far as our work is concern.

Anyway, that will be all for now Mama. Let's pray Edgar passes. Take care of yourself, Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Dear Mama,

Edgar will be taking an exam today at Jollibee. Last week, he submitted his resume and yesterday he received a text message telling him to come at 1:00 p.m. today for the exam. He have class at that time Mama, but Edgar said he will just catch up with his classmates on the lessons he would miss. I just let him, Mama. It was his decision to make.

As for Ralph, he was trying to join the out-of-town trip with JPIA again, even though I already told him not to because he is not required to join anymore since he is already in his 5th year. He never even told me about it, Mama. I only came to know about it because Ate Det sent me a text message yesterday asking me if I would allow Ralph to go. Of course, I got mad at him Mama. I scolded him, although I am not sure if he even understands me.

About Angel, she's still our baby, Mama. Though she's more stubborn now that she's older. But she is getting more responsible as far as her studies is concern. That's why she landed on the top 4 of her class. She still doesn't have a boyfriend, but I have a feeling that it won't be long. She's opening up little by little, Mama. I hope I would know how to handle it.

Last night, we went out to eat. We were not able to go out last Valentine's day because Ralph was taking his exams, so we did our late-Valentine dinner yesterday. Under strict budget, of course. Still, the kids were satisfied... I guess.

Well, that will be all for now Mama. It's Monday and I hope things get better for us this week. Take care of yourself, Mama. I really miss you.

I love you, Mama.


Daddy

Dear Mama,

I am about to sleep but I thought of writing you a letter before I call it a day. Honestly though, I do not know what to say, Mama. The kids are all in their rooms now. Tomorrow's Sunday but Ralph needs to wake up early because he will be having his exam. Tomorrow's his last day of the midterm exams.

Well, I guess I just wanted to say goodnight before I go to sleep. I miss you, Mama. Good night.

I love you.


Daddy

Angel is now No. 4

Dear Mama,

I wasn't able to go to school yesterday to get Angel's report card because I was not able to leave the office early. Which was very unfortunate because Angel is now ranked No. 4 in her class. Last grading period period, she was No. 5. I know it would have made her happier and proud if I was able to be there for her. Of course I am proud of our baby, Mama. She is really doing her best to improve her performance in school. She is doing everything she can. And I'm happy that she is getting noticed, not for anything, but I'm sure it will improve her self-confidence, Mama.

Mama, today is February 14, the day that I wouldn't know how to greet you. It's Valentine's Day but you know it's everything but happy to me. It was the day you left us, 4 years ago. No, I'm not complaining nor blaming you, Mama. I'm just saying that I don't know how to greet you.

I hope you're okay, Mama. Don't worry about us, we're fine. I'm coping with whatever life gives or denies me.

I know I've already sent you this song, but let me send it once again, Mama. I hope you like.


I really wish I can see you smile again, Mama. I miss you. Take care, Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Angel got a perfect score!

Dear Mama,

When I came home last night, Angel has some good news for me. First, she got a perfect score in her unit test in English. She was happy because it's one of her favorite subject and I am of course happy and proud that she did. She also showed me her gift for being a certified library user. It was something she was aiming for since last year - borrowing books and returning them on time. In fairness to her, she reads every book that she borrows and even shares them with her brother Ralph.

Today will be their issuance of cards. I hope I will be able to get out of the office early to go to her school. Their cards won't be issued unless a parent, or a representative from the family aside from the student is present. Last second grading, she was ranked 5th in their class standing. I hope her rank gets better on the third grading because she deserves it, Mama.

Ralph will be having their midterm exams tomorrow. Good thing he can take exams even without permit cause I was not able to pay for his tuition fee yet. Edgar, on the other hand, applied to work for Jollibee. Unfortunately, he was not even interviewed and they only got his resume and told him that they will call him. Apparently, they are not yet processing applications. Which is very wrong, in my opinion, because it was posted inside their store. Oh well, what do you expect from fastfood businesses.

I guess that will be all for now, Mama. Take care of yourself. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Dear Mama,

It's been 5 years since you went home, and here I am writing these letters still, believing that you are reading them... that they are actually reaching you. I wish.

Isn't it pathetic, Mama? Hanging on to this medium, though insane it may seem to be, but somehow it gives me still a connection to you and somehow it makes me feel better, or worse, after writing to you. Depending on how I pour myself out.

Remember this song, Mama?

It's like what I am doing right now, hoping that I could actually have a line to you.

I miss you, Mama.


Daddy

Dear Mama,

It's almost Monday again. It's 11:21 p.m. of Sunday, to be exact. That means I will be reporting to work again in just a few hours. I'm not complaining, Mama. Working is better than not working. It just gets boring after everything becomes a routine. I wish I could do something more exciting and fulfilling, Mama. I wish I could chase my dreams.

Anyway, like I said in my previous letter, I was able to cook sweet and sour fish for lunch and pancit canton for dinner today, Mama. As usual, they were far perfect but the kids ate them nonetheless. The sweet and sour was not sweet enough and the canton was not enough for the kids. I should have cooked more of it. I will just adjust next time, Mama.

By the way, Edgar said he will apply for work in Jollibee tomorrow. I hope he will have a chance to work Mama, so he can experience it and learn from it. He needs to be around more so he could learn to adjust. He and Angel just finished their exams last week, while Ralph will be having his mid-term exam this coming week. Let's pray he'll do good and won't get distracted.

I guess that will be all for now, Mama. Until my next letter. Take care of yourself, Mama. I miss you.

I love you, Mama.


Daddy

Dear Mama,

It's 11:36 in the evening now, the children are already sleeping. I'm still looking at the Internet on what I will cook tomorrow. I plan to cook sweet and sour fish, Mama... and pancit canton too. I hope I can make it good for the kids. It's Sunday tomorrow and I want to cook real food for them even at least during this family day.

We were able to attend the anticipated mass this afternoon in Marisol, Mama. At least tomorrow we won't be in hurry to wake up early. And as usual Mama, the Gospel and the homily came in perfect timing. It hits right on the button. I really wish I can have a stronger and more consistent faith so I won't give up or whine easily. I hope I can continue to fight for the kids.

Well, I guess that will all for now Mama. Take care of yourself. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Sundae night with the kids

Dear Mama,

Hi! The kids are now in their rooms. They are all resting now after having sundaes both at Jollibee and McDonalds. It's already 12:46 a.m. now. I hope Edgar and Angel will be able to stand up early tomorrow. Edgar will have his NSTP class while Angel will be having her last day of examination.

I guess the kids enjoyed our little night out, Mama. It's becoming rare as of late. I'm glad I was able to take them out tonight, even just for sundaes.

That's all I want to tell you now, Mama. I will be sleeping in a while. I need to wake up early too to buy breakfast for the kids.

Take care of yourself, Mama. I really miss you.

I love you, Mama.


Daddy

Dear Mama,

Hi! It's a long day for me. Nothing much to say to you now, really. I just want to talk to you... like those rare times we do then, talking about the past, the present and the future. It would be nice if we can do that now, Mama.

Looking back at the times when Ralph, Edgar and Angel were little babies... the portable pool at our backyard... those times when you would prefer to cook our mirienda instead of just buying from the store... our modest Noche Buena during Christmas Eve... movies we would watch at home... or just simply playing our whistle game. Don't you just miss them, Mama? I do.

If only we can go back to that time.

Now, of course, you're away from us. The kids are growing up so fast, even though I always see them as the little kids that they used to be, I cannot deny that they are grown ups now. Trying to find their place in this world, while I try my best to be of help to them in their quest. I am not much of a help, though. I'm sorry about that, Mama.

Then there's the uncertain tomorrow. Will Ralph be able to take the review? Will he pass the board exam? Will he find a good job so he can prepare for his future? What about Edgar and Angel? They still have a long way to go, Mama. I will always be there for them... every step of the way.

I will never forget my promise to you, Mama. I'm sorry if I'm showing weakness at times, I'm sorry if I'm whining often, I'm sorry for being stubborn. But I will never turn my back on my promise. I know it won't be easy. I know I wanted to give up a couple of times... but I will try my best to keep that promise, Mama.

I miss you, Mama. Take care of yourself now. I love you. Mama.


Daddy

Edgar and Angel have exam permits

Dear Mama,

I was able to get the exam permits of Edgar and Angel this morning. They will be both having their examinations this week. Fortunately, our money was just enough for their tuition fee installment due. Unfortunately, however, it left me too little to spend until the next money arrive... which I really can't tell when, given our situation right now.

Ralph will be having their midterm exams next week, and I already told him that I won't be able to pay for his dues and asked him if his teachers were checking for permits. He said he can take the exam even without permit. I hope so, Mama. Also, I still haven't paid Blez my loan that was coursed through her. They still won't give us the money due to us.

I'm sorry for bothering you with these money problems, Mama. I'm just venting out. There's really no other here I can talk to. No one to help me either. I can only pray for miracle since I don't have stuffs I can sell at home.

Anyway, I'm sure things will get better for us soon... I hope, for the kids at least. I know you're helping me pray for that, Mama. Ralph is excited for his review class. It will his first taste of complete independence as he will be staying in Manila for about 5 months. I hope he can take care of himself. Angel is doing well in school, although she has some complaints about the system. You know, typical things that make a student feel that there's 'injustice' in the system. I was asking her if she wanted me to go to school, she told me no. She said she just wants me to listen.

Well, I guess that will be all for now Mama. Edgar is good as well, by the way. Looks like he has a good circle of friends he is hanging out with. And his studies seem to be going well too. So, that's it for now, Mama. Take care of yourself.

I miss you, Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Mama, I need you right now

Sunday morning

Dear Mama,

Good morning, Mama. It's Sunday today, 8:30 in the morning and the kids are still sleeping. I did not wake them up. There's nothing to do today, so I will just let them sleep longer. Breakfast is already waiting just in case they wake up anytime. I just bought bread from the neighborhood bakery.

Like I said, there won't be much anything to do today, Mama. I don't think I could even take them out to the mall or something. You know what happened. So, it's really a lazy Sunday for us. I hope we can clean up and organize the house a little, though.

Anyway, that's much I got to say for now, Mama. Help me pray that things will get better for us soon. Take care of yourself, Mama. I miss you.

I love you, Mama.


Daddy