Feeling the crunch

Dear Mama,

It is now the 3rd week of the lock down, I am feeling the financial crunch of this quarantine. Our company which is based in Australia is definitely affected. Businesses there were ordered to close temporarily until July, and that means our financials will be affected. We were told that our salaries will be cut for now because of the nationwide lock down in Australia. And there's nothing we can do about it.

The situation here is not even better. The lock down is supposed to end next week, but with the way things are going I have a fear that it will be extended. And just like other people, that might also push me to the end of my wit.

I am worried, Mama. Worried about Ralph who is alone in Pasig. I just learned he has no face mask and cannot really go out to buy his food and other necessities. No establishments will allow anyone to enter and transact with them unless they have face mask. I hope he will be able to find one, or least improvised. Please help him, Mama.

I am also worried about Edgar who is still in Masbate. Although he has some co-workers there, the situation there is not really better than here. Until all this lock down, quarantine, and corona virus concerns are over, things will not go back to normal. Edgar spent his 25th birthday there in Masbate. His first birthday away from home. We were even planning to go to the beach like we did last year before this whole thing started.

I hope this will all be over soon, Mama. I am getting tired, mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially. I hope we will be able to go through all this.

I'm sorry for writing like this, Mama. I'm just really tired.

I miss you, Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Angel cooked our lunch today

Dear Mama,

It's the second week of the enhanced home quarantine because of the corona virus. It seems the situation is not getting better. I blame it all in this incompetent and selfish government that we have. I really pray for all this to be over, Mama. And once all this is over, I hope all those who are responsible will be made accountable. We don't deserve this. This could have been prevented early on.

The good thing that happened today was Angel cooked our lunch. I brought chicken breast yesterday and she cooked in tomato sauce. It was delicious, Mama. I did not even watch her while she's cooking. Looks like she got your talent in cooking, Mama.

We're still working from home, Mama. No improvements in our situation as I have mentioned earlier. Ralph and Edgar are still away from us. Please look after them, Mama. Help me take care of them.

I am trying to be strong, Mama. I just hope I will be strong enough to outlast this situation.

I wish you were here. At least I have someone beside me to help me cope.

I miss you, Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Will this ever end?

Dear Mama,

Today is my third day of working from home. If there weren't too much restrictions going outside, I will be feeling better. You know I don't like going out, Mama, but the reasons for all this lock down is what's driving me crazy. Everyday I am always afraid that things will get worse as I wake up in the morning. And so far, my fear is not without basis, Mama. It is actually getting worse.

Right now, it is still just me and Angel here, and with only Chuchi and Fluffy accompanying us. Venz was laid to rest yesterday. Have you met him yet, Mama? He is a sweet dog, with soulful eyes. I'm sure you will love him once you get to meet him.

We're almost running out of food here, Mama. We are just buying from small stores near us. I hope they won't be told to close soon as what they did in other areas. Otherwise, we won't be having anything to eat. They say supermarkets are open, but the lines are long because they only let limited number of people in at a time. I might go out tomorrow to the supermarket. I hope it is still being allowed, Mama.

I'm tired. Just thinking all about it is exhausting me, Mama. What will happen tomorrow?

Ralph is at work, also trapped in their place. He said he will be working from his apartment. They gave him a laptop, but he's not sure if they will be assisting him to go back to his apartment. There are no public transports available.

Edgar is still in Masbate. He said quarantine is being implemented there too. He seems okay. According to him, he's doing fine. I do hope he is, Mama.

I'm barely holding on to my wit. Without anyone to talk to, and there's nothing I can do. I feel weak, Mama.

I wish I was as strong as you were, Mama.

I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Up and down... my anxiety goes

Dear Mama

It's been a roller coaster ride since last week, and it's consuming me, triggering my anxiety to heights I have never been before. I am trying to fight it so as not to affect those who are around me, especially Angel.

Last Saturday, we had our speech contest for the Division level where I competed again for the Humorous and International speech category. Again, I lost. Again, I was denied. I got only second place in Humorous and third place in the International category. Maybe I should stop trying, Mama. Maybe I am not really as good as I thought I was. Maybe I really do no have it in me. Maybe I'm really just a loser.

And this whole pandemic thing blowing up on our face. I am now working from home, we brought our computers home last Tuesday. We do not have enough food supply, and just buying whatever we can from the sari-sari stores and karinderya near us. It's driving me crazy, Mama. I don't know how long this will last.

This morning, our dog Venz died. He has been weak since this weekend, and I was not able to take care of him. I did not know what to do. He would often look at me, whenever I call his name, but he wouldn't eat. At around 6 a.m. earlier, he rested. Please say sorry for me when you meet him there, Mama. We were not able to take good care of him. He was a special dog.

Now, I don't know what to feel anymore. My mind is tired, my heart is anxious. Ralph is still in Pasig, and Edgar is still in Masbate. I have never felt this much anxiety, Mama. I wish you were here.

I miss you, Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Why am I feeling this way?

Dear Mama,

Here I am again. It's 4:30 p.m. now, I just came home from work. I have already done a little cleaning, I mean just a little. Angel is sleeping now, she probably slept just around 2 p.m. that's why I'm not waking her up.

It's just me and Angel at home now. Edgar is still in Masbate and he doesn't know until when he'll stay there. Ralph, of course, is working in BGC although he said he'll go home this weekend. 

I feel anxious, Mama. I don't feel good, nor happy. I don't know what's bothering me. I should be happy and contented right now because all our kids have already graduated. Unfortunately, I am not. 

I just wish this feeling would just go away, Mama. I'm tired of all these. Help me, Mama. 

Wish you were here. I could use a hug right now. 

I miss you, Mama. 

I love you. 

Daddy