Dear Mama,
Today is the songwriters' night I was supposed to be included. I was supposed to be one of the performers, Mama and I was planning to sing the song Smile For Me which I wrote for you because it's your birth month, Unfortunately, my anxiety got the better of me and I asked to be removed from the line up.
As I mentioned in previous letters, Mama, there has been constructions ongoing in the grill house beside us. It's not just the commotion brought about by the construction that was causing my anxiety, but because once the construction is finished, they will be getting performers again. My high school batchmate, who is one of the owner of the grill business, told me that I won't be hearing much of the noise because they'll build a higher wall. I doubt that, Mama.
I don't know what to expect. The construction might be finished in a month's time. And I was asking myself, how can I perform in other places and yet be disturbed by the noises beside us? That's the reason I backed out from tonight's performance, and probably won't be joining anymore in future events.
This anxiety is really taking its toll on me, Mama. It's just too damn difficult keeping it all inside. It feels like I might snap anytime. But I'm trying my best to hang on, Mama.
I wish you're still here with me. I miss you, Mama.
I love you.
Daddy
