Saturday, November 10, 2012

What am I doing wrong?

Dear Mama,

It's Sunday morning, eight o'clock. The kids are still asleep, I don't want to wake them up because I've no breakfast to serve them. Well, I don't plan to starve them, Mama. I am just planning to serve them brunch later so we can save something. Besides, they do need the rest especially Angel who always wake up at 5 a.m. from Monday to Friday to go to school.

What am I doing wrong, Mama? You know I don't have any vices, no unnecessary expenses, and even skipping lunch at work just to save, and yet I still can't make both ends meet. Am I the worst father and provider there is, Mama? I can't provide for the children's basic needs. I've run out of friends from I can borrow money just to support the kids. I already feel like I'm a thick-faced clown, Mama. And to think I am working with a good pay, yet it is still not enough to support the kids' schooling! When will this be over, Mama? Am I the worst father there is?

I'm sorry, Mama. I should just be talking about happy things to you. It will be your birthday soon and I should be preparing for it. I hope I can make something for it, Mama.

Take care of yourself, Mama. I'm sorry for my whining. I'm trying to do my best. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.