Dear Mama,

I forgot to tell you last night, we saw your co-teacher at SM yesterday. Sorry Mama, I  forgot her name. You know how bad I am in remembering names. She was one of your friends who was always with you then during our struggles. I just wanted to tell you that she was very happy to see the kids all grown up. She talked to them one by one and was glad to know that Ralph has already graduated and is working now, and that Angel and Edgar are already in college, with Edgar graduating next year.

Of course she remembers Ralph as Rem and Edgar as EA, she was excited to see them. Somehow, I felt proud, Mama. It feels like I am doing good, although I am aware that I do have a lot of shortcomings with the kids. But at least, it made me realize that there are a lot of things I should be thankful for - that our kids stayed in school and that there people who genuinely care and pray for them even without us knowing it.

I know it's all because of the good seeds you planted, Mama. You were already an angel even while you were still here, that is why people loved you. We are thankful and proud for that, Mama. Even without us realizing it, we are reaping the fruits of the good seeds that you planted. Thank you very much, Mama.

I miss you even more now.

I love you, Mama.

Daddy

Dear Mama,

The kids and I went to La Pieta today so Ralph can go back to Makati tomorrow to avoid the crowd returning to work after All Saints' Day. After that we went to SM to spend the rest of the afternoon there. We bought some school items and also ate, we had a short bonding moment, Mama. It was priceless. Too bad we did not have any picture as were busy joking around and teasing Angel, especially. 

We also talked about Angel's birthday and she said she just wants us to go out and dine together. I guess that is what we will be doing, I hope I would remember to take pictures then.

That will be all for now, Mama. Wish you were able to joined us afternoon. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Dear Mama,

Angel is already enrolled for the second semester, but she was not able to pay in full. Quite sad, considering that she is only paying for the miscellaneous. Unfortunately, the money I gave her was not enough. At least she is already enrolled and I have until Monday to pay the balance for the miscellaneous.

Edgar's enrollment is also this week, but as I've said before we won't be receiving our salary until late this week. He will be enrolled late, unfortunately. But he will be enrolled, Mama. It is his last semester and he will be graduating next year.

Ralph is doing fine, I think. He will be going home this Friday. I asked him to take a leave because it is Fiestang Apu here and also the death anniversary of Tatay. We will be having lunch at Sta. Teresita. He might not be able to go to La Pieta on November 1, Mama. We will just go there earlier. November 2 is not a holiday, so he has to leave for Manila this Sunday.

As for me, I'm okay, Mama. A little bit weary, but when was I not? It's always been this way, I get through every time. Nothing new, Mama.

Well, I guess that will be all for now. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Dear Mama,

Good morning. It's 4:27 a.m., Sunday. I guess the kids stay up late up last night again. I slept early, Mama. I guess I will let them stay in bed today. They will be busy next week for their enrollment.

I really do not know what to say right now, Mama. I just want to reach to you, hold your hands and embrace you.

I miss you, Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Dear Mama,

It's Friday, finally the work week is over and it's time to rest again on the weekend. Next week will be Edgar and Angel's enrollment for the second semester, problem is payday won't be until late next week and there won't be enough time to enroll by then. By the week after that, the second semester will start. Yes, Mama they can enroll by that time but class has already started and they might encounter some problem there. I hope everything will turn out well for all of us.

It's almost November and another 2 months it will Angel's birthday. I still do not have the resources or any idea on how to make this special for our baby. I can feel that she's been drifting away from me lately. You know, adolescence and me having too much on my plate. I just want to make her feel special to let her know that I still love her and she will always be my baby.

I do not know what to do, Mama. I'm lost.

Help me.

Daddy

Dear Mama,

Good morning. It's 3 a.m. now, I woke up at around 2 a.m., actually and I cannot go back to sleep. I am not feeling well, Mama. I have cough and cold, and my lower back aches. Edgar is also not well. Angel will be having her final exam today.

I do not know what to say, Mama. I just wanted to talk to you. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Dear Mama,

I just had my breakfast, a few pieces of pandesal and coffee. I will be preparing for work in a while. I feel cold, Mama. My back aches and I am sneezing often, I guess it's the weather. I've been drinking lots of water, Mama. I cannot afford to be sick.

This will be Angel's last week for the first semester, and next week will be enrollment for both of the kids. Budget is still tight, Mama. I hope there will be a miracle, which unfortunately will not happen because I am not buying lotto tickets. If only Atching Ledy will pay her debts, I will not be having this concern now, and I can even plan for Angel's 18th birthday on January.

Anyway, I will be going now. Take care of yourself, Mama. I miss you.

I love you, Mama.

Daddy

Dear Mama,

It's a rainy Sunday morning. There is a storm, yesterday it was already signal no. 2 here. I hope it will weaken tomorrow and there will be less rain. Angel still have their class this coming week, they are not yet done with their Finals, Mama. Edgar's class is already finished but he said he might go out this week too and work on their group thesis. Next week is already enrollment for both of them, Mama. It's getting quite tight on the budget again, but I know God will help us find a way.

The two are still sleeping, Mama. It's only 6 a.m. now. Angel slept late last night, or maybe she stayed up until after midnight because she is finishing a program which is a requirement for their finals. I hope Ralph is fine, he is in Makati now. He left a message in FB, the time is around a.m., he just said "de" I just replied now. I think he is still sleeping.

Tomorrow, we will be reporting at our new office, Mama. It is just near us, it's in Balibago. Actually, I could just walk to and from the office, that would be a great exercise. But with this typhoon, I think I might not be able to do that yet.

That will be all for now, Mama. I hope this storm will pass soon.

I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Dear Mama,

We just arrived home, the kids and I. We went to eat at Chowking for dinner. No special occasion, Mama. I just wanted to go out and I know I won't have anyone to go out with me, I figured I should take out the kids instead. After all, it's been a while since we all went out.

Anyway, sorry for my whining in my last letter, Mama. I just had to vent out, although I admit it's not really helping me. The fact is, nothing will.

I guess I better end this letter now before I start whining and ranting again. 

Take care of yourself, Mama. I wish I can be with you soon. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Dear Mama,

Why am I still hoping that someone will like me? Nobody likes me. I mean NOBODY! They all make me feel unworthy.

It was only you who accepted me, Mama. I wish you never had to leave.

Daddy

I miss you, Mama.

Dear Mama,

I arrived home today at around 5 p.m. and found Angel sleeping. She was tired from their school's feeding program. She was out since 2 a.m. today because they went to the wet market in Pampang to buy the food that they will cook and bring to Sapangbato. Angel has been very busy these past weeks, Mama. She is the class president and at the same time the leader in their group. You know how she always takes charge, Mama. She knows that if she will not move, her group mates and classmates will not move too. What's worse is that their teacher, who was the one who required them to have this spoon feeding program was not helping Angel. I really wanted to go to school to talk to that teacher but Angel is restraining me, Mama.

Ralph is here, he is also sleeping as what he usually does when he comes home. Edgar is still in school. He'll be home by 9 p.m., it just 6 a.m. now.

I have a problem, Mama. I wish you could visit me in my dream so I can tell you... please, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Dear Mama,

I'm alone at home again now, although Edgar might be here within 30 minutes or so. Angel is not here, Mama. She will be staying overnight at her classmate's house again to rush on their projects as it's already Finals in school.

How can I tell the kids what I want to tell them, Mama? Will they understand? Or should I even tell them? I know, sooner or later they will come to know about it. I'm sorry that this is bothering me again, Mama. I just wanted to correct something and make up for my shortcomings. I hope this is the right thing, Mama. I hope you understand me.

A lot of things are happening right now, Mama. I really do not know if I can cope or if my actions and decisions are right. I may look okay, but the truth is, I've never been more disturbed and confused. Of course, I just have live through it all.

It's really is a difficult time to be alone. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Dear Mama,

It's 2:13 a.m., I woke up with a leg cramp. When I felt the pain, I stood up immediately to ease the pain. As I was standing up, I felt my head throbbing with pain again. I was already fine when I went to sleep last night, Mama. I slept early so I could rest, but now my head aches again and even have leg cramps. What's happening to me, Mama?

It really sucks to be alone and sick. I wish you're here, Mama.

I love you.

Daddy

Dear Mama,

When I arrived home this afternoon from work, my head was throbbing with pain. I thought I would not make it home. Angel and Edgar are not yet home, I immediately lie down and took a nap. I woke up at around 7 p.m. still with a headache, although it was not as worse as before I slept. I've been getting these headaches more often lately again, Mama. I'm not sure if it's the eyes. Pain relievers have become like daily vitamins to me, like I would not last a day without drinking them. I hope this would stop soon, Mama.

I wish you're here, Mama. I need you. I miss you.

I love you, Mama.

Daddy