Please make Ralph well, Mama

Dear Mama,

    As I mentioned this morning, I bought cake today so we can still celebrate your birthday. Edgar cooked spaghetti for our dinner. It was great, Mama! The spaghetti was delicious, and the cake was also good. Angel liked it. We were able to celebrate your birthday at home, Mama. Happy birthday again.

    If only staying at home isn't much troublesome and stressful. This morning, one of the units in the apartments in our back was again burning garbage and their smoke are going to us, unfortunately. Ralph, who was already coughing since yesterday, is mostly affected by the smoke because his room is nearer the apartments and the smoke. Because of that, his cough got worse, Mama. 

    He said he will be going to the doctor for a check up tomorrow. I hope he will be fine. Please make him well, Mama. I'm sorry I was not able to take good care of our children.

    If only you're here, I'm sure they will be well taken care of.

    I'm sorry, Mama.

                                                                                                    Daddy

Happy birthday, Mama!

Dear Mama,

    We celebrated your birthday yesterday, the kids and I. We went out to eat, Mama. I proceeded to SM Clark after work and waited for the kids. Edgar and Angel arrived together before 5 p.m., and Ralph came at around 6 p.m.

    We then looked for a place to eat and they decided to try a newly opened Mexican restaurant. It was a bad decision, Mama. The service was very poor and unfortunately, the food did not make up for their poor service. Anyway, we just proceeded with our dinner, and afterwards we bought donuts for dessert. There wasn't a dining area at the donut place, so we just ordered for take out and ate them at home.

    Angel also received her Christmas 'basket' yesterday, Mama. It wasn't really a basket, it was in fact an eco bag haha... Angel was happy, Mama because it's actually just her first Christmas goodies. She did not get anything on her first 2 jobs.

    We were not able to buy a birthday cake yesterday, Mama since it was already late when we got home and since we already have a donut. But I will buy one today, after I pay our electric bill, so we can sing a birthday song for you.

    Happy birthday, Mama! Wish you were here celebrating with us. We miss you, Mama.

    We love you.

                                                                                                        Daddy

A new bonding activity

Dear Mama,

    The kids and I just got home from the supermarket. It's our new bonding activity, Mama - grocery shopping every Sunday morning. It used to be just me and Edgar, but now Ralph and Angel are also coming with us. That is because we do our grocery shopping now at SM Hypermart in SM City Clark.

    Although Ralph is not with us now, he went to Manila today. He was with us when we went to SM Clark, then got on the P2P bus when we got there. He wanted to go the supermarket with us first before he travels, but I advised him to go immediately so he will be able to go home early.

    Edgar is preparing our lunch now. As you know, he is the one who is cooking now. He prepares food especially for Angel, so she could eat food that won't trigger her allergy and skin asthma. 

    That will be all for now, Mama. Take care of yourself.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                            Daddy

I started running again

 Dear Mama,

    I started running again this morning. I started quite late, Mama because I finished the laundry first. It was 7:30 a.m. when I went out, so the sun was already out. It was not that hot, though. I went to La Pieta so I can also visit your tomb, Mama. I haven't been there since before the lockdown in 2022. I'm sorry, Mama.

    I still haven't finished the song that I am supposed to submit for the songwriting contest I mentioned in my last letter. I don't know what pushed me to do it, Mama. I am still completing the lyrics, and I still don't know how it will sound. The reggae beat keeps entering my mind, I don't know if I can pull it.

    It will be your birthday 3 days from now, Mama. We still don't know how we'll celebrate. Probably the kids and I will eat out like we always do, Mama. We might go out late because Ralph sometimes does not really finish at 5:00 p.m. which is the end of his shift.

    After that will be our wedding anniversary on the 8th of December, Mama. And again, we might just eat out. Then comes Christmas. I hope we can have our traditional family Christmas party this year, Mama. We did not have it last year. We celebrated, but there weren't games and no exchange gifts like we used to do.

    I guess that will be my update for now, Mama. I hope I can keep this running thing again so I can get back to shape. I've been feeling weak and easily gets tired lately. Hoping to be with you soon, Mama.

    I miss you.

    I love you.

                                                                                        Daddy

I joined another songwriting contest

Dear Mama,

    I joined another songwriting contest. It's a local songwriting contest with a theme, Mama. It's a contest here in Angeles City. I have not yet written anything, I still have to think of something related to the theme, which is reforestation.

    Because it's a local contest, the language should be either in Tagalog or Kapampangan. I'm thinking of writing and submitting a Kapampangan song, Mama. The deadline is still on December 31st for the song. However, application forms should be submitted on/or before November 30. I already submitted my application today, Mama, and they have confirmed acceptance. That means I am officially a contestant.

    I don't even know if I will able to write or finish the song, Mama. I wish you're here to help me. I'm sure you will be having a lot of ideas. 

    I have already thought of something, but I am not sure how to go about it, Mama. It's really difficult when all you have is ambition but you lack talent. I don't even know why I am joining these contests like I wanted to prove something. Nobody will be proud of me if I win, and nobody really cares is I lose.

    Oh well, I just have to deal with. I really wish you were here, Mama. I miss you.

    I love you.

                                                                                                    Daddy

More updates after another week

 Dear Mama,

    As I have mentioned last week, Angel started in her new job last Wednesday. So far it's still okay. Her shift is okay because it's a dayshift. We almost have the same schedule, except that hers starts an hour earlier which is 6:00 a.m. Tomorrow, Monday, will start her second week.

    Edgar got sick last Tuesday. He did not work again. He was suddenly coughing when he came home last Monday. Tuesday morning he wasn't able to work because aside from the cough, he also had fever. He was able to get back to work on Wednesday, although he was still coughing. He is still coughing until now, Mama.

    Ralph is all by himself now at home when we all leave for work, since he is working from home. He went to Manila yesterday for a seminar on his other job, which is a financial advisor. He is still has to get his first client, Mama. Although, I don't know how he would get it since he is always at home.

    By they way, we have a new ref at home now, Mama. As I mentioned last time, Ralph and Edgar were at SM Clark looking for a ref while I was writing my letter then. It was delivered last Sunday, Mama. This morning, we went grocery shopping for some food and supplies. They were excited to fill the ref.

    That will be all for now, Mama. Please do watch over us. I hope to be with you soon. I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                        Daddy

Just another weekend update

Dear Mama,

    It's Saturday evening once again, and there really isn't much going for me. I mean, personally, on myself, that is. Still with anxiety, as the construction and renovations beside us will be finished soon. After that there will be noises again, as I've been told there will be getting live bands. I'm planning to do lots of things, like write a new book, a new song, or another post on my blog. I'm also planning to get back to exercising, or at least running, Mama. But so far, I'm still procrastinating.

    Ralph and Edgar went to SM this afternoon, Mama. It was just the two of them, Angel and I stayed home. They went to SM because they bought a refrigerator for us, and it will be delivered tomorrow. It will be the first time we will have another decent refrigerator in the house after I sold our freezer last 2011. 

    Meanwhile, Angel was already hired and just waiting for the call for her to start in her new job. By what she understood, she'll be starting on the 16th, this Wednesday. I'm glad she'll be going out again, Mama. I hope she'll be staying in her new job. Or at least even for 2 years so she will get more exposure and experience. I hope she'll find good friends and peers in her new company.

    That will be all for now, Mama. I hope I will be with you soon. I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                            Daddy

I was supposed to perform tonight, but...

Dear Mama,

    Today is the songwriters' night I was supposed to be included. I was supposed to be one of the performers, Mama and I was planning to sing the song Smile For Me which I wrote for you because it's your birth month, Unfortunately, my anxiety got the better of me and I asked to be removed from the line up.

    As I mentioned in previous letters, Mama, there has been constructions ongoing in the grill house beside us. It's not just the commotion brought about by the construction that was causing my anxiety, but because once the construction is finished, they will be getting performers again. My high school batchmate, who is one of the owner of the grill business, told me that I won't be hearing much of the noise because they'll build a higher wall. I doubt that, Mama.

    I don't know what to expect. The construction might be finished in a month's time. And I was asking myself, how can I perform in other places and yet be disturbed by the noises beside us? That's the reason I backed out from tonight's performance, and probably won't be joining anymore in future events.

    This anxiety is really taking its toll on me, Mama. It's just too damn difficult keeping it all inside. It feels like I might snap anytime. But I'm trying my best to hang on, Mama.

    I wish you're still here with me. I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                    Daddy