Edgar's birthday celebration

Dear Mama,

    I had the prostate ultrasound procedure yesterday as requested by my doctor. During the ultrasound procedure, the doctor on duty I am still okay. There is nothing wrong nor are my prostate enlarged. I will be going back to my doctor tomorrow to bring the ultrasound result, Mama.

    We also celebrated Edgar's birthday yesterday. We had an early dinner in Balibago, afterwards we went straight home and we continue the celebration with the birthday cake I bought yesterday morning. Of course, we sang happy birthday for Edgar, Mama. We also gave him our gifts, which were a travelling bag from me and Angel, while Ralph gave him a pair of pants and video game cartridges. 

    After eating the cake , I already went to sleep, Mama because I suddenly felt weak and tired.

    That will be my update for today, Mama. 

    I miss you, Mama. I love you.

                                                                                                Daddy

It's getting hot in here

Dear Mama,

    It's getting hot lately because it's already summer. And you know how hot summer can be in our country, Mama. But it's not only the weather that's getting hot, Mama. It seems my temper has been quick to rise up easily lately. I immediately get angry and snaps at a flick of a finger.

    I don't know if it's me, the weather, or something else. Lately, I have been encountering situations that easily irritates me, and sometimes I cannot control myself. I know I should not let outside forces influence my inner peace or something. I thought I was about to master that, but lately I'm failing, Mama.

    Is it my age? Or am I just simply tired of everything?

   This Wednesday I'll be having my prostate ultrasound. I don't know what to think. I'm afraid that I almost don't want to go through it. I don't know why my doctor recommended it.

    It will also be Edgar's birthday, Mama. Our EA will be turning 28. I'm really old, Mama. But I still have not raised anything tangible that I can leave to our children. I have failed, Mama. I hope they will do better once I'm gone.

    I'm tired, Mama. I miss you. 

    I love you, Mama. I wish I can be with you soon.

                                                                                                    Daddy

What's next?

Dear Mama,

    It's early Sunday evening. Edgar is preparing our dinner now. He prepares our meals most of the time. Initially, he planned of opening up a food business that's why he tried experimenting in the kitchen since the pandemic. I don't know if he still plans to do that, but he continued preparing our meals. 

    It's Monday again tomorrow, and back to work I'll go. I'm not really complaining about going back to work, Mama. You know I have no problem with my work. However, I do have problem continuing with life itself. I don't know what's going to be next.

    I mentioned in my last letter that I lost in the Division speech contest in Toastmasters, hence I can longer continue in pursuing my dream. I will still continue with Toastmasters, but the enthusiasm won't be there, Mama. I think I lost all my zest.

    Last Friday I had my quarterly check up with my doctor, Mama. He said the results of my blood chemistry and 2D Echo were okay. However, he ordered me to have prostate ultrasound, Mama. He said there were stains of blood in my urinalysis, and asked if I had problem urinating. I said not really a problem, but it's frequent, and mostly small quantities only. I mean, it wasn't like before. I thought it was just because of my age, Mama. But he said it could be because of enlarged prostate, that's why he gave me a request to do the procedure.

    I'm not sure if I want to do it, Mama. What if he is correct? What will happen then? He wants me to do it ASAP, Mama. I'm still thinking about it.

    That's all for my update for now, Mama. If only you were here, I would have been much comfortable going through this stage.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                    Daddy

The end of the journey

Dear Mama,

    Yesterday we had our Division level speech competition, and I competed in the Humorous and International category because I won in the Area level last month. Unfortunately, Mama, I did not win yesterday. I really did not lose because I landed second place, but still not a champion. That means I will not be proceeding to the District finals in April, and my journey towards being a champion speaker has ended yesterday. Oh well, I did my best, Mama. I hope you're still proud of me.

    As for my songwriting 'career,' I performed last Tuesday at the Museo Ning Angeles during the National Arts Month culminating activity in Angeles City, Mama. There were more audience than I had with the songwriters group. There were also mostly people I don't know, that's why I was so nervous that it was actually obvious in my voice. But I still sang my songs.

    Anyway, that will all for now, Mama. Ralph and Edgar are not here now. They are in Tagaytay with their cousins. They might come home late tonight. Angel is still sleeping.

    Until my next letter, Mama. I miss you.

    I love you.

                                                                                            Daddy

A champion, at last!

Dear Mama,

    We had our Area speech contest in Toastmasters yesterday. I won in the Humorous, and International category, Mama. I finally became a champion, Mama! I hope you are proud of me.

    It took me almost 7 years to become a champion, after so many attempts, and I finally made it. Of course, this is just the Area level. I still have to win the Division contest on March 4 before I can dream of making it in the national, which is our District finals at the end of April, Mama.

    I do wish you're here with me now, Mama. This victory would have been sweeter with you by my side. I hope I am making you proud.

    I miss you, Mama. I love you.

                                                                                                Daddy

My song was a finalist!

Dear Mama,

    Remember the local songwriting contest I mentioned in a previous letter? My song was chosen as one of the finalists, Mama! Isn't that great?!

    I was surprised yesterday when I received the email late in the afternoon. After doing the laundry, I checked my phone and saw the notification which read, "Dear Finalists" and I felt goosebumps. I couldn't believe it, Mama. I don't know how many have joined the songwriting contest, but when I checked the other 3 finalists, they are all from Metro Manila. I thought the contest was just for Pampanga. 

   It's the first time for me, Mama, for my song to be recognized. I will be attending the awarding ceremony on Monday, January 23, for the all the finalists and the winner. I will be bringing Angel along.

    Are you proud of me, Mama? I wish you were here. I wish you're proud of me.

    I love you, Mama. I miss you.

                                                                                                Daddy

Post Angel's birthday updates

Dear Mama,

    As I've said in my last letter, we celebrated Angel's birthday at last Monday at home. She wanted a charcuterie party, and Edgar willingly prepared it for her, Mama. I was surprised because I thought I won't feel full since it seemed to be just cocktail foods, but we weren't almost able to finish it because we were already full. We also had wine, again upon Angel's request. Of course, I bought her birthday cake so we can sing happy birthday for her, Mama. 

    After dinner, we watched a movie on Disney channel, Ralph's latest subscription. Unfortunately, Angel fell asleep at the early part of the movie. We felt it was because of the wine, which was quite strong. And that was how we celebrated Angel's birthday, Mama. Hopefully next year, or perhaps anytime this year, I will be able to grant her wish, that is a staycation in a hotel. Even just for an overnight stay. 

    Remember I told you also in my last letter that I hope Angel would stay longer in her work, Mama? Unfortunately, it did not happen. She went back to work after her birthday, only to tell me the day after that she resigned already and will no longer be working. I was no longer surprised, but I felt sad for her. I wish I could have guided her well. Was I a failure as a father, Mama?

    The construction on the grill house beside us is almost finish, Mama. That means, as I have learned from them, there will be live bands, and it will be loud again here during the evening. I'm having anxiety just thinking about it, Mama. There's nothing I can do, they were allowed because they had permits and everything.

    That will be all for now, Mama. I wish I can hug you right now, because I really need it.

    I miss you, Mama. I love you.

                                                                                                    Daddy

Angel turns 25

Dear Mama,

    I can't believe our baby is turning 25 tomorrow. She's now a grown up, Mama. She's been doing her best to act more mature. There's still a lot to work on, but she definitely has gone far from where she was before. She seems to be enjoying her job so far, Mama. I hope she stays for at least 2 years so she will develop herself more. 

    She will be on leave tomorrow, though, since it's her birthday. Ralph and Edgar are also on leave for her. Unfortunately for me, I have to work tomorrow. It will be our first day of work for the year, and since our holiday break last year, Mama. I can't be absent since I hold the office key.

    I still don't have any gift for Angel, Mama. I don't know what to give her. I've been wracking my brains, trying to think of a gift for her, but I can't think of anything. I was planning of booking her a hotel room for an overnight stay, but the promo was over and I do not have enough money. It might just be a belated birthday gift, Mama. I hope it will be okay.

    That will be all for now, Mama. We will be celebrating Angel's birthday just at home tomorrow. How I wish we're still together celebrating Angel's special day.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                        Daddy