I wish I can talk you

Dear Mama,

I wish I can to you. Something's happening to me lately, and I wanted to know what you think or how you feel about it. I really I wish I can see you.

The kids are fine, Mama. They're great kids, I'm so proud of them. Thank you for giving them a good foundation.

Take care of yourself, Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Father's day

Dear Mama,

Today is Father's Day, and I really have no plans of going out because I have to money to treat the kids. But they asked me to take them to SM Clark, and said they will treat me because it's father's day. At first I didn't want to, Mama, saying that they should just save the money. But Angel was persistent and I fear I might be causing disappointment to them, so I obliged.

We have good kids, Mama. Thank you for raising them well. Mama, I wish I could talk to you. I have something very important to tell, I hope I can see you.

That's all for now, Mama. Take care of yourself. I love you, Mama. I miss you.


Daddy

Update on the kids

Dear Mama,

Sorry I haven't written for a long time. I've been disorganized lately. Too many things that I want to do, and I end up not accomplishing anything.

This morning, I took Angel to her school. Today is Saturday, but she said she needs to go because today is the audition for the dance club that she wanted to join. I'm sure you know how Angel loves to dance, Mama. I think she got it from you. Honestly, I don't want to, but it's her passion lately, and I bowed to support her in endeavors.

Ralph is getting more responsible lately, Mama. I think he's maturing. But of course, there will always be the little boy who is so playful and curious of everything. Looks like I can't take that away from him, Mama. I am just trying to guide him to channel that curiosity. So far, I haven't been unsuccessful.

Edgar, on the other hand, will be more serious in his studies now. He's in his fourth year in high school, and said he want to take up engineering in college. But he is aiming for high grades in his last year in high school. He was asking me to buy him a drum set, so I asked him to get honors, and I will buy him his request. Actually, I also have agreements with Ralph and Angel, so I can encourage them.

As for me, nothing's new. Just living my life, one day at a time. Living a daily existence, with my only aim is to make to through the day. Oh well, that's just how it has been. I'm sure you know why. It's like walking and dragging my feet as I do.

But I'm surviving, Mama, or at least I think I do... or at least, until the I day I be allowed to be with you again. Take care of yourself, Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Would it be okay if I leave the kids?

Dear Mama,

Yesterday, I met with my friend Alex, Mama. He works in Dubai. I asked him if there is a possibility for me to work there, and he told me what to do - where to apply, what to watch out for, although necessarily in his company.

You know Ralph is in his third year in college now, Mama. Edgar is in his fourth year in high school, while Angel is in Grade 6. By next school year, I will have two kids to send in college and Angel will be in high school. It is nearly impossible for me to afford all their expenses if I stay here, Mama.

But that would mean, I would be leaving them alone if I work overseas. My friend can do it because he has his wife to look after their kids. What was going on in my mind, Mama was that, the kids are already without a mother and then I will make them fatherless too.

Nothing's final yet, Mama. I haven't even applied. But just thinking about Angel growing up without me by her side makes me anxious, Mama. Yet, I have to be practical. I have to be realistic. I know we have great kids, Mama. You have set such a strong foundation on them. They can take care of themselves.

Maybe it's me. I don't want to be away from them. I always want to see them to be sure they are safe.

I don't know what to do, Mama. I'm torn. I have to be realistic, yet I am apprehensive. Wish you were here. Making this decision could have been easy.

That will be all for now, Mama. I just hope I will make the right choice. Take care of yourself. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Had fun watching with the kids

Dear Mama,

This afternoon, I was finally able to buy a new printer and a DVD-ROM drive for the computer. After dinner, Angel said they want to watch a movie because they haven't watch any movies since my CD-ROM was broken, and so we watched one of our favorite movie -- The Gods Must Be Crazy.

They had fun, Mama. They were laughing so loud. I remembered when I was watching the movie with you. You were laughing so loud too. And it is but natural because the movie was  funny. I really wish I could do this with the kids more often, Mama. For one, it is much cheaper than going out.

Unfortunately, I can't, because I need to work even while at home. Thankfully, they understand. We have great kids, Mama. Yes, they get on my nerves sometimes, but I guess it's all part of growing up. I know I have you to thank for raising them so well. Thank you very much.

The only problem, whenever I have fun with the kids is that, I always wish that you were still with us and sharing with our laughter. Of course, I don't show it to the kids. I don't want to dampen they joyful spirit. I just keep it to myself.

But I really miss you, Mama. I do.

I guess that will be all for now. Take care of yourself now, Mama. I love you.


Daddy

I forgot the fruits

Dear Mama,

Every meal, the kids and I usually have conversations and we talk about the happy times when you were still with us. It was always nice to reminisce those memories, Mama. All the love you have shown us and how you took care of the kids when I was still working in Makati.

Suddenly, Angel recalled that there used to be fruits in the house everyday when you were still here. Just then, I remembered that I am not buying fruits lately. The last fruit that I bought was a banana from the neighborhood sari-sari store. That was more than two months ago, I believe.

How could I forget that! I'm sorry, Mama. I know that the market was out of your way then from the school where you teach. Yet, you always managed to go there just to buy fruits for the kids.I guess, that's one difference of you not with us anymore. There's really no substitute for your care, love and thoughtfulness.

I can't fill that void. I'm trying my best, Mama, but I know I just can't do it.

I'm really missing you terribly, Mama. I need you. I wish I could talk to again and tell you everything that I'm going through lately... yet, I know it won't happen.

Take care of yourself, Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Happy anniversary, Mama

Dear Mama,

Happy anniversary!

Do you still remember how we started? You were hesitant, but you wanted to help me then, you thought I was brokenhearted. That's why you said yes. I hope you did not regret that decision, Mama. I knew that what you felt for me then was just sympathy. That's why I tried really hard to prove myself to you.

And I'm glad you saw it, Mama. That was why you choose to be with me forever.

Thank you, Mama. Thank you for giving me the chance. Thank you for allowing the love to grow in your heart and being the best girlfriend a boy could have, and eventually being the best wife a husband could ask for. Thank you, Mama. Thank you for your love.

Happy anniversary, Mama. I love you.

I miss you, Mama.


Daddy

Edgar's enrollment tomorrow

Dear Mama,

I was about to sleep when I remembered that I haven't talked to you for quite a while. I'm sorry for that Mama. I'm just getting disoriented lately, again.

Tomorrow, I will be enrolling Edgar. He is in his fourth year now, Mama. He and Angel will both be graduating this school year. Ralph would need three more years to finish his course. I will also be enrolling Ralph tomorrow. Angel is already enrolled. I enrolled her last week, Mama. Tomorrow, I'll be buying her books.

It's difficult, Mama. Doing all these things without you helping me. I must admit that I'm still not used to it. I am just lucky to get by. I don't know how long though.

Well, I guess that will be all for now. Take care of yourself, Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy