Spaghetti and fruit salad...

Dear Mama,

I intend to write you last night, but I was tired and slept immediately after dinner. Yesterday, I made fruit salad and cooked spaghetti so we can celebrate your birthday. I was hesitant at first Mama, because I really don't know how to prepare the fruit salad. I just went for gut feel, as I try to recall how you prepare your fruit salad then.

Angel said it tastes just like yours, but I know it still need lots of improvements. As for the spaghetti, my first time to cook without a coach by my side. After preparing the fruit salad, I started on the spaghetti, I was excited and happy as I was cooking Mama.

Suddenly, I didn't know why but my tears started to fall Mama.... I was alone in the kitchen, the children were playing in their rooms. I really can't do anything as my tears fall freely... then I realize, I was cutting the onions. Just want to make you smile Mama.

The spaghetti wasn't perfect either Mama, but at least the children liked it. I wish you could've tasted them so I know where to improve.

Of course, we sang happy birthday Mama. I hope you were with us last night as we celebrate your birthday.

That will be all for now Mama. Take care of yourself. I love you.


Daddy

I wish you were here...

Dear Mama,

Happy birthday! It's 12:15 AM, I've waited for your birthday before writing my letter. I wrote a short poem for you Mama. I hope you will like it.

I wish you were here...

I wish you were here, so I can kiss you today
I wish you were here, so I can hug you on your birthday
I will hold your hands, even for just a while,
And once again, I will see you smile...

I wish you were here... so I can say
Happy Birthday Mama.

I hope you like it Mama. I need to make it short, or else who knows what I might write in the poem. I just want to greet you on this special day Mama. Happy birthday! I miss you Mama. I love you.


Daddy

Angel is still in the Top 10

Dear Mama,

Angel is still in the Top 10 for the second grading. But she slid a bit in the ranking, she is now ranked 9, a point lower than her previous rank 8 (not 7 as I previously wrote to you). Anyway, I told her it's just okay. I can see her efforts Mama, I'm just not sure if her teachers see it or appreciate it.

But its not good news when it comes to Edgar. Some of his grades increased, but some even decreased. His average for 2nd grading is lower than his first. I know he is doing his best Mama. I just don't understand why it doesn't reflect in his grades.

Ralph is still waiting for the announcement of the Dean's Lister for the 1st semester. He said he is sure based on his computation, but the official list isn't posted yet. Like I told you before Mama, he is more serious in his studies now. He is conscious of his grades now, because he needs to maintain a required average to stay in his major.

Well, I guess that would be all for now Mama. By the way, on Saturday, I guess I'll just make fruit salad for the kids. We can't really go out because Ralph has school the whole day. So we will just celebrate your birthday at home. I still don't know what's for main course though. Maybe I'll just buy us some litson manok and cake.

Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you very much.

I love you.


Daddy

So what's for Christmas?

Dear Mama,

It will be your birthday this Saturday, November 29. Until now, I still don't know what to do to celebrate that day. After that would be our wedding anniversary on December 8, could have been our 17th year... and soon it will be Christmas.

All of these will be our first without you. Suddenly, I'm not excited on any holidays or occasions anymore Mama. I wish I could just sleep and wake up skipping these days.

Yes, we already have our Christmas Tree Mama. Although it is still lacking in trimmings and lights. But at least the children can feel the spirit... I hope. I haven't bought anything yet though.

I hope I can do something to make it special for the kids, even if at this point in time, I'm still clueless how to do it Mama. I don't know if that's really the case, or I just don't want to.

Anyway, I'll just see what I can or will do in the coming days Mama. Take care of yourself now.

I miss you Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

I wish....

I really wish I can talk to you right now Mama...

I wish...

Sad news Mama... Dang Ising passed away

Dear Mama,

Dang Ising finally gave up last night. I received a text at around 11:55PM saying that she had just passed away. This is sad news for us here, but as we all know, it's all for the better cause finally now she can rest and be with Bapang Vic.

I'm sure you already know about this Mama, because she is already there with you. You are now both at peace.

That's all for now Mama, I'll just update you about the kids later. Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Regarding Dang Ising

Dear Mama,

I just came from the hospital. We rushed Dang Ising to hospital, she was pale and I think she wasn't breathing anymore. I was in Sta. Teresita because I will accompany Tatay to the bank, we were about to leave when I heard my cousin Len shouting.

Good thing Loren was there Mama, we were able to use his tricycle. I'm telling this to you Mama because I know that Dang Ising was fond of you too. While we were there waiting outside the emergency room, I remembered how she would always encourage you then. And now, there she is, in a situation where she is about to go where you are.

When I left the hospital, they said she will be taken to the ICU. But Dr. Alfonso was honest Mama, he said that Dang Ising has a 10 to 1 chance of surviving. I pray that she would survive Mama, the way I saw my cousins there, they were not ready to let go.

But just in case she finally says goodbye, do meet her Mama. Just like you, I know she needs to rest. She has been weak since Bapang Vic died last year.

That's all for now Mama. Take care of yourself. I miss you Mama. I love you.


Daddy

It must feel good to be at peace...

Dear Mama,

I went to La Pieta this afternoon to be with you. It's nice going there Mama, because it's so quiet. As I was sitting there, I felt kind of envious with you. Because you are already at peace. It must feel good to be at peace.

How I wish I can be at peace with you too, but I know that shouldn't be my thought. I need to take care of the kids. I know I need to be strong Mama, I don't want to fail you.

When it was almost dark, I already went home. I wanted to stay longer Mama, because it was so peaceful there. Anyway, I will come some other days.

Take care Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Suddenly I feel alone...

Dear Mama,

Are you surprised to receive a second letter from me today? I just had my lunch, Ralph's class today will be until 2:00PM and so he will wait for Angel until 4:00PM. That's why he didn't go home for lunch. And Edgar won't be home until 5:00PM.

I don't know why, I've been all alone since 6:30AM but it's like I've just noticed it now... as I was having lunch alone. Suddenly I felt so lonely... all by myself. I wish you were here Mama. I miss you.

I'm sure there will be more of this, and I don't I will get used to it. That's all Mama. I just want to tell how I feel. Take care. I miss you Mama. I love you.


Daddy

A rainy day....

Dear Mama,

The children are in school now. I am worried because storm Quinta came back, the wind was blowing heavily this morning. Unfortunately classes were not suspended Mama. I really don't want to send Angel to school but she already has too many absences before, it might affect her grades if she will have more. Please take care of them Mama.

I am now alone in the house, just finished doing some chores. Again, I'm here on the computer hoping to write more today than I did yesterday. You know what Mama? Sometimes I find me talking to myself whenever I am alone. Maybe I'm going crazy.

In two weeks time it will your birthday Mama. Advance happy birthday. I still don't know how we're going to celebrate your birthday, but I told Angel that we're going to celebrate your birthday. Pretty soon, it will be Christmas. We'll be missing you more Mama. I still remember how we have games in this season even if there were only five of us.

I'll stop now Mama before I beg you to come back, I know it's not possible. You're resting now. Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Stories from the Familia community

Dear Mama,

We just came from the ECLS of Familia today. Bro. Amor asked me to send his regards to you. You know what Mama? Sis Janet told that her cousin (or was it her sister?) in United States was asking her to get an autograph from me. Hahaha... that was funny Mama. She said, all her cousin did was talk about me cause they've seen the Rated K episode there. I guess the hype is not yet over Mama.

Bro. Noli told me again to prepare for the next ECLS classes because I could be one of the speakers. They really thought I could be an inspiring speaker. I don't know Mama, I really would love to but I'm not sure if I will be an effective speaker.

Ralph is not home yet. He is still in the Immaculate Heart Community where he is an active member. But he will be home anytime now Mama. Edgar and Angel are already having their as I am writing this letter.

That's all I can write for now Mama. I really miss you. I wish I will dream of you again soon. Take care of yourself Mama. I love you.


Daddy

Sorry for not writing yesterday....

Dear Mama,

I'm sorry I was not able to write you yesterday. I was too busy studying the writing assignment that was given to me and at the same time I was also looking for some online opportunities. As you know Mama, I have already resigned from my regular job.

I'm happy that I am getting quite a number of writing opportunities on my blogs now Mama. But at the same time, I also feel sad about it. I feel like I'm polluting my blogs Mama, especially my Reflections. I wish I wouldn't write reviews there, but what can I do Mama? It's the one that is mostly getting opportunities lately.

I hope I can write more personal essays there so that at least it can still maintain its personality. It was my first ever blog Mama, and I never really planned to use it for those reviews. I never thought it would qualified.

Right now, I am working on lots of assignment. Although these are not on my blogs. I'm writing for others Mama, it's where I'm earning most. I hope I won't get tired writing.

That's all for now Mama. Please do take care of yourself. I miss you Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

I shouted again...

Dear Mama,

I'm really sorry for I shouted at the kids again tonight. I was not able to control myself. Ralph and Angel are always quarrelling even on the smallest things. I've been trying to talk to them, but they would not listen. Nobody wants to give in. I snapped.

I know I should have more control over my temper. I've been doing that Mama. I have always tried to talk sense to them, but somehow I don't have any control over them once they start to argue. I'm really sorry Mama.

I really wish I could be a better father to them.


Daddy

Am not feeling well...

Dear Mama,

I am at home right now, fortunately my internet connection was reactivated. Unfortunately, I have to go to Digitel's office to personally follow it up. It was raining when I went there... and it was cold.

Right now, I'm not feeling well Mama. I feel cold and my back aches. I sneeze most of the time. I have already taken medicine Mama. Tomorrow, Angel will be back to school after their semestral break. Edgar started their class today.

I hope I will be able to write more Mama, so I can justify my resignation from work. That way I can earn more and provide for the kids. Although lately I am getting more jobs online, I just hope they continue.

Maybe tomorrow morning I will feel better Mama. I know you will make me feel better. I will rest now Mama. Take care of yourself. I miss you Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Taking the kids to Cool Spot...

Dear Mama,

Remember Cool Spot? The most famous place during our childhood days where we eat halo-halo with siopao or chocolate cake?

This afternoon, afternoon buying new pants for cloth for Edgar's uniform, I took them there and we ate halo-halo. Angel was surprised as to how I knew that there was halo-halo there. Of course I knew, don't I?

Although sadly, there weren't any people as it used to be. In fact, we had the whole place to ourselves Mama. Fortunately, the kids liked the halo-halo. I also ordered them chocolate cake.

How I wish you were with us Mama, and we can tell kids our stories when we're eating then there.

That's all I have to say now Mama. I really wish we can share that halo-halo moment at Cool Spot with you.

Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

At the I-cafe with the kids....

Dear Mama,


I am now at an internet cafe with the kids. Angel and I went here because I need to submit a write-up online, Ralph and Edgar came straight from La Pieta.


I allowed them to have time for internet too while I work, because it's been a long time since our connection at home has been cut-off. Anyway, I computed the opportunities that I got today and they were enough to pay for their internet time. Hopefully soon our internet connection would be reactivated.

We need to go home now Mama. Take care of yourself. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy