Monday, September 10, 2012

Exams, tuition fee deadlines, Ralph's birthday and Angel's audition

Dear Mama,

It's Angel's exam week and you know they will be asking for payments so she can get her exam permit. I will be filling up another promissory note just to get her permit, I am not sure thought if they will allow me because I will not be making any partial payment this time, Mama. Payday won't be until Friday and I need to get her permit before that day. I know, they will again look at me from head to toe, before approving my promissory note. If ever they do, Mama.

Then it occurred to me, Edgar will be having their final examinations soon. During finals, they do not allow promissory notes. I need to pay the full balance of his tuition fee, and I really do not know where I will get the money to do so. My work promised me an extra pay for every approved project, and we already have one. I was hoping they will be true to their promise. If not, it will only confirm my earlier apprehension -- that I made the wrong decision. Worst, the kids have to suffer for it, Mama.

Ralph will also be having his finals, but he can still take the exam without permit. However, I still need to raise the money for his tuition fee, both his balance for this semester and his down payment for the next semester. I don't know where to go, Mama.

Speaking of Ralph, he will be celebrating his birthday on Friday. I just used the word celebrated in the absence of a better term, but there will no celebration really. He will be turning 20, Mama. I don't know, maybe I'll just cook something for him on weekend. I'm sorry, Mama.

Angel would like to join an audition for the new GMA 7 TV show, Mama. The problem is, the audition will be held on Thursday, and they have class on that day. She wants to allow her to join the audition even if it means being absent from class. Of course, I did not allow her. Again, I am the reason for her not fulfilling her dream.

What else? All I've been saying to you are my incapability, inadequacy, and ineffectiveness as a single father, Mama. I know I am being a disappointment to you, but I'm trying my best. I'm sorry for my shortcomings, Mama. I wish I will have the opportunity to make up for all of these.

I will say goodbye for now, Mama. Again, I'm really sorry. Take care of yourself, always. I miss you, Mama.

I love you.