I miss you Mama

Dear Mama,

Hello. Are you surprised you're getting more letters from me lately? Maybe it's because I am in front of the computer most of the time now Mama, trying to write as much as I can so I can earn enough for the kids... and also to keep myself busy.

I wish I was talking as often like this with you when you were still here Mama, instead of just worrying then how you were feeling or where we're going to get the money for your next dialysis.

But of course, there's really nothing we can do now. I can only reach you through this blog... and I can only believe that you are reading my letters... really.

I miss you Mama. I don't say it as often lately, but I do, I really miss you. Every success, every failures, every good news or bad news, every jokes that I hear, I was hoping that I can share them all with you.

Why do we have to be this way Mama? We were kind and obedient, we did everything that we think was right, we even served in the church... and this is the reward that we got?

I'm sorry Mama, I know I really should not be talking like this anymore, but I just have to let it out of my system. I'm really sorry.

Going back to work now Mama, excuse this little episode. I'll avoid these emotions as much as I can. Take care of yourself Mama.

I love you.


Daddy