Ate Tey is with you now

Dear Mama,

    Ate Tey was rushed this morning to the hospital. Anna sent a voice message to the group chat saying she's not okay and they're taking her to the hospital. No details. I knew then something was wrong. Later Anna said Ate Tey had a heart attack, Mama. That's what the hospital personnel said. She said they were able to revive her, but after one hour she flatlined.

    We were all shocked, Mama. I just went to Sta. Teresita last week and she was fine. Yu-Juan also posted she was talking to her yesterday. She was not even sick nor taking maintenance. At least nothing that I know  of. Maybe we just don't know because she doesn't go to the doctor regularly. Perhaps, the only positive thing we could say about this is she did not suffer long, Mama. But still...

    That's all I wanted to say, Mama. Angel left for work already, and I'll be  waking Ralph up in a while so he can prepare for work, too.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

    

                                                                                                    Daddy

Another bout with anxiety

Dear Mama,

    Ralph just left for work, it's 10:26 p.m. now. Angel left earlier around 8 p.m., Mama. I'm about to rest now. Edgar is also in his room. 

    It was a long day, Mama. Not really tiring, but it felt long. 

    Earlier I had another bout with anxiety, Mama. I didn't know what to do. I was calling your name. I tried to sleep, but my mind won't shut down, Mama.

    I felt calmer when I played my guitar after dinner, while waiting for Ralph to leave for work.

    I miss you, Mama. I need you.

                                                                                            Daddy

Another rainy Saturday night

Dear Mama,

    It's another rainy Saturday night. It's 7:42 p.m. right now, Edgar and I already had our dinner. Ralph and Angel are not here, Mama. Angel is already at work, and Ralph attended another trivia night. They left together, Mama. Ralph booked a Grab car and dropped Angel at her work, then proceeded to the venue of his event.

    Right now, the rain is pouring heavily. Good thing it has stopped a bit earlier when Ralph and Angel were leaving. It was raining the whole day, Mama. A lot of places have been flooded because of the continuous rain. I'm praying for everyone's safety.

    That will be all for now, Mama. I miss you.

    I love you, Mama.

                                                                                                Daddy

Nanay has been confined in the hospital

Dear Mama,

    The rain has stopped, for now. Hopefully, it won't rain again tonight when Angel and Ralph leave for work. It's 6:21 p.m. right now, and Angel is getting ready. Edgar is cooking our dinner, and also Angel's 'lunch' for her break tonight.

    Nanay has been confined in the hospital, Mama. She was admitted last Saturday, and she was discharged today, Tuesday. She spent 4 days in the hospital. Anna said they took her to AMC last Saturday because she was vomiting and chilling. The resident said she had phlegm in her back that's why they had to admit her. Her urinalysis also showed she had UTI. Today she was discharged and was given home medications, antibiotics, specifically. 

    During her stay in the hospital, she had nebulizer treatment, Mama. Which caused  her phlegm to loosen up. Anna took care of her while they were in the hospital, Mama. Hopefully, she'll completely heal and won't get sick again.

    That's all for tonight, Mama. By the way, I'm listening to my songs right now in Spotify. Because who else would stream my songs except me haha...

    I hope I'll dream of you tonight, Mama. I need to see you.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                Daddy

P.S. Angel just talked to me and said she doesn't feel well, and won't work today. I hope her supervisor understands, Mama. She's really sick.

 

Haven't had a haircut for quite a while

Dear Mama,

    It's Friday night and Edgar and I just had our dinner. Angel is already at work. Ralph did not work tonight, but he's out right now to attend a trivia quiz night. An event that he usually attends during weekend, Mama. 

    I've been stressed again lately, Mama. First, our garbage hasn't been picked up. I think it's almost a month. They haven't been coming lately, or if ever they come it might be when I am at work, and Ralph and Angel are both sleeping, coming from graveyard shift, Mama. That's why our trash is filing up. I think I already have more than 5 big black bags of trash right now.

    Another one that's been stressing me is my hair, Mama. It's long and I haven't had a haircut for long time now. I think the last time I had a haircut was June, or maybe even May before my birthday. It's not that I couldn't find time, Mama. But I had to get home straight from work because I was hoping to catch the garbage truck. Yes, my stresses are connected, Mama.

    Finally, our new dog is also stressing me. She's hyperactive, Mama. A bit rowdy, and I couldn't control her. Sometimes, she is pounding on the cats, not to scare them or anything. But I think she just wanted to play, Mama. The problem is, she might be hurting them. And the cats, not used to having dogs around, are afraid of her. And another problem with her is she's tearing the plastic bags of trash, so I had to hang them so she couldn't reach them. But since our garbage is not being collected, I'm running out of spaces to hang them, Mama. Like I said before, all my stresses are connected.

    Sorry, Mama, I'm just venting out. It's really difficult when you have no one to talk to about your concerns. I really wish you were here.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                                Daddy

The rain hasn't really stopped

Dear Mama,

    It's Wednesday evening, and we just had our dinner. Angel and Ralph are sleeping right now, Mama. It's Angel's day off today, so she' resting after we had our dinner. Although she asked to be woken up at 10 p.m. so her body clock won't be confused. Ralph's time won't be until later, so he's resting now. I'll wake him up 9 p.m., Mama.

    Edgar's not yet home. He sent a message that he'll be late tonight. So, I ordered food delivery again for our dinner, Mama. I'm no longer confident in cooking since Edgar took over the kitchen. That's why I'm having a problem when he's not around.

    It's been raining non-stop, Mama. We are actually on red warning signal, which is the highest signal as far as the volume of rainfall is concerned. I hope it won't be raining later when Ralph leaves for work, and when Edgar travels for home.

    I don't have anything much to say really, Mama. But I miss you so much. How I wish I can see you even just in my dream. I need your hug, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                Daddy

Tatay's birthday

Dear Mama,

    It's Tatay's birthday today. Although he is already in heaven, we are still celebrating it. It will be a lunch celebration, Mama. Ralph and Edgar already left to join their cousins, aunties, and uncles in lunch. I did not go with them, Mama. 

    I was supposed to accompany Angel here at home, and she is supposed to rest because she has work tonight. But Angel isn't home yet, Mama. It's already 10:30 a.m. She said she needed to buy some things at the mall, so she waited for it to open. So, I'm home alone now. 

    Anyway, I was waiting for the garbage truck because our garbage hasn't been collected for almost a month now, Mama. The problem is, they rarely come, and when they do Ralph and Angel are sleeping because they came from night shift, while Edgar and I are still at work. I was only able to catch them when they come on weekends or late in the afternoon. That did not happen lately, Mama. I hope they come today, I'm really stressed by all the accumulated trash.

    I guess, that will all for now, Mama.

    I miss you.

    I love you.

                                                                                                        Daddy

No more family time

Dear Mama,

    It's Sunday, 6 p.m., and Angel is getting ready for work. Yes, Mama, like what I told you before, she has work on Saturdays and Sundays. Her days off are Wednesdays and Thursdays. That means there will be no more family time, or they will be rare, if ever. Ralph has work on Wednesdays and Thursdays, and both of them work night shifts, Mama.

    So, if we go out on Angel's day off (weekdays) or Ralph's (weekends), one of them will have to cut off their rest time and we will have to leave early, Mama. And we will have to watch our time because someone will need to report for work. I don't think that's a good bonding time. That's why they might really be less to no more family time, Mama.

    It's been raining heavily the whole day, Mama. Although the rain has paused for now. I hope it won't be raining when Angel leaves for work later. Edgar is better now, he's preparing our dinner.

    That will be all for now, Mama. I don't like to start whining again, so I better stop. 

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                    Daddy

Gout to be believe in magic

Dear Mama,

    It's gout season again, or at least in our house. Ralph and Edgar are both having their bouts with gout, Mama. Ralph's was just early this week, and Edgar's started today. Ralph is getting better, Mama. Unfortunately, Edgar's is a bit painful as I see it. He's having difficulty walking, Mama. And in my mind I'm singing 'Gout to believe in magic."

    I'm just trying to be funny, Mama. But deep inside I'm worried. This gout seems to be a traitor. It strikes when you least expect it. I wish there was a way for them to be fully healed from their gout, Mama. I had my bout with gout long time ago, when you were still with us. It lasted for about 2 days, then it disappeared. I had some minor attacks, but never was as painful as Ralph's and Edgar's. And I never had it again for a long time, Mama.

    It's Angel's last day of her 2-days day off, Mama. She'll get back to work tomorrow. I think she's sleeping now, and also Edgar. Ralph is resting and will be getting ready in a while. We already had our dinner, Mama.

    It's still raining, and there's a typhoon. I just read now in Facebook that face-to-face classes in Angeles City are suspended tomorrow because of the inclement weather. I hope everything will be fine.

    I guess that's all for now, Mama. I wish I can dream of you tonight.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                    Daddy 

Another rainy evening

Dear Mama,

    It's another rainy Sunday evening. It's already rainy season indeed. Angel is already at work, Mama. Although she hasn't confirmed yet. She left earlier via Grab car, but she often cannot send a message immediately because she needs to log in and settle down. This usually takes time, Mama, unfortunately. Because they only have one elevator and there are many users. She would usually send a message later during her break when she gets caught up.

    We already had our dinner, Mama. We were supposed to go to the wake tonight, Ralph and I. But I don't feel well. I got rained on this afternoon while I was taking the laundry from the clothesline because it rained suddenly. I already took medicine, Mama. I cannot be absent from work tomorrow because it's a Monday and I would need a medical certificate if I called in sick.

    That's all for tonight, Mama.

    I wish you were. I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                        Daddy

Rainy Friday evening

Dear Mama,

    It's a rainy Friday evening, Angel just arrived at work. It's already 8 p.m., she left at 7 p.m. earlier. What used to be just a 20-minute travel took almost an hour because of the traffic caused by the rain, Mama. We just had our dinner. I hope Ralph will leave earlier tonight to avoid the traffic.

    We went out last night for dinner, Mama. Since, Angel has work on Saturday and Sunday, Ralph decided we should take our family time last night, since it was Angel's day off. 

    All our children are okay now, Mama. Although Edgar and Angel are under medications. Angel has antibiotics prescribed again to her. Her total medicines reached 2k, Mama. It was another unexpected expense. I'm praying they will be healthy soon.

    That's all for tonight, Mama. I wish I can hug you right now.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                            Daddy

Bingo!

Dear Mama,

    It happened. Angel is sick. She was already not feeling well yesterday, but she said she can manage and she was taking paracetamol. She went home from work this morning sick, Mama. She was supposed to go the clinic today for her photo light therapy session for her skin condition, but she did not go because of her fever. The only good thing right now is today is her day off until tomorrow. So, she will have time to rest, Mama. I hope she gets better. I'm sorry, Mama.

    Edgar is okay now. At least he is saying he is okay. He is preparing our dinner now. Angel requested for a soup for dinner, Mama. Ralph is okay, although I'm worried about his cough, Mama. I'm telling him to go visit his doctor to consult his cough.

    As for me, I don't know if I am sick or it's just age catching up with me, Mama. But I'm feeling cold right now. I feel cold almost every night, Mama. It's been raining every late afternoon and evening these past days. Sometimes, I am rained on when I go home from work.

    Also, I'm still not getting much streams for my songs in Spotify. I guess I'm not really cut for it. Sorry, I have wasted money for producing and releasing my songs.

    That's all for now, Mama. Please make Angel well.

    I wish you were here.

                                                                                            Daddy

I'm sorry, our son is sick again

Dear Mama,

    I'm sorry. Edgar is sick again. He came home this afternoon saying he has a headache, so I told him to rest and I'll just buy food for our dinner, Mama. While he was resting, Angel took his temperature and he has fever, Mama. He was not able to eat properly when we were having our dinner. He already took medicines. He won't be working tomorrow. I'm really sorry, Mama.

    Ralph is getting ready to work now. He was absent last Friday because of flu. I hope he won't be sick again. Angel is already at work, Mama. She left past 7 p.m. earlier. It's 9 p.m. now.

    I'm sorry about Edgar, Mama. Please help me make him well.

    

                                                                                                    Daddy

Lazy Sunday afternoon

Dear Mama,

    It's a lazy Sunday afternoon. We had a late lunch because Edgar fell asleep, which is just okay since it's a Sunday. Just finished taking a bath and I was planning to go out, but I got lazy so I didn't. 

    Ralph seems to be okay now, Mama. Although he's still taking medicines. Angel also takes paracetamol because she felt she'll also feeling a little bit feverish, Mama. I think it's the weather. I am also not really feeling well, but I just have to ignore it because tomorrow's Monday. I cannot be absent, lest I will be required to submit a medical certificate, even if it's just a one day sick leave.

    That's all for today, Mama. Just updating you on our children. I might take a nap, too. I feel sleepy, but I had to wait for my hair to get dry because I don't to get blind hahaha...

    I miss you, Mama. 

    I love you.

                                                                                            Daddy

It's Ralph's turn

 Dear Mama,

    We just had our dinner. Angel is already at her work. She left earlier before we had our dinner, Mama. It's their graduation from the training, and next week she'll be in the production. So far, she's enjoying, Mama. She just has some complains with superiors but I hope she'll learn to adapt, or at least knows how to handle it, so she could stay longer, Mama.

    It's now Ralph who is sick. I'm really sorry, Mama. I don't know what happened to him. He was okay when he left for work last night. I just saw him when I came home this afternoon. He already took medicine, Mama. At first he wanted to go to work tonight. I had to convince him to take the day off, because I don't think he can work in the condition he is in, Mama. I had to be mad at him, though. I had to be angry before he would listen. He messaged his office while we were having dinner earlier, Mama. He is now resting in his room.

    I'm really sorry, Mama. I cannot take good care of our children. They would have been better off if... I'm sorry.

                                                                                                    Daddy

Edgar is sick again

Dear Mama,

    Angel just left for work. I booked her a Grab car and she's on her way now, Mama. We already had our dinner, although it's McDonalds delivery for now. Ralph is resting, he'll get ready by 9 p.m.

    Edgar is sick, Mama. He has fever. He came home from work sick. Although, he already messaged us that he was sick while he was on his way home. Which is why we had food delivery for our dinner tonight.

    I'm sorry, Mama. I don't know what made Edgar sick again this time. He was okay last night, and when he left for work this morning. I'm praying he'll feel well soon. Although I advised him to rest tomorrow.

    That's all for now, Mama. I really sorry.

                                                                                                                Daddy

Angel's treat last night

 Dear Mama,

    Yesterday, Sunday, we went out to eat for our family day. It was Angel's treat, Mama. We were supposed to go to a buffet restaurant in Clark, unfortunately, it was full. Our fault, we did not bother to check and ask for reservation. So, we walked around the Clark Parade Ground. Most of the restaurant there are a bit expensive, Mama. We checked one which was within Angel's budget. It wasn't exactly fine dining, but it's pricey, although still within our baby's budget, Mama. We had our fill, and I was satisfied.

    After dinner, we walked around the Clark Parade Ground again to see if there was a night market, which fortunately, there was. We just looked around. I almost bought another Hot Wheels car, Mama. Good thing I was able to restrain myself. Ralph bought a Pokemon stuffed toy, while Angel bought some postcards, Mama.

    Then we went to a coffee shop for some drinks, Mama. The coffee shop we went to was quite big, Mama. It has three floors! And it was very cold, I almost fell asleep. We went home past 9 p.m., and we immediately rest upon reaching home.

    By the way, Angel is already at work now, Mama. We already had our dinner, and Ralph will be preparing for work in a while.

    That's all for tonight, Mama. I miss you so much, especially when we're going out like last night. 

    I love you, Mama.

                                                                                                    Daddy

Had a great time at my gig last night

Dear Mama,

    I had a great time at my gig last night. It was not perfect, but I had a great time, Mama. I had a very receptive and appreciative audience. And I think I'm funny hahaha.... I had some bloopers - wrong chords, wrong words, bad punchline deliveries, and the like, but it didn't matter to me, Mama. I was having fun.

    It was a bit exhausting, though. I played for 1 hour and 30 minutes straight! I had an option to offer open mike to people who wanted to sing, but I did not opt to it because I might not be able to accompany them. Beside, I should be the star of the show haha... Kidding, it's the first reason, really.

    I was more confident last night compared to my previous gig there, Mama. Angel noticed it, too. Perhaps because the weather was okay. And I had some young people telling me after the show, "Ang galing n'yo po!" That felt great, Mama. 

    It was far from perfect, but I had a great time. I hope I made you proud, Mama. Wish you were there watching me.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                            Daddy

Friday night again

Dear Mama,

    It's Friday night again. I'm waiting for Ralph, he is preparing to leave for work, Mama. Angel already left earlier. Edgar just arrived home a few minutes ago.

    I just finished practicing for my gig tomorrow, Mama. I'm praying I will do well and I will not encounter any technical issues like last time. I'll wear a new t-shirt design for my Roy2dworld logo, Mama. I'm excited, although still a bit nervous. 

    That's all for now, Mama. Please pray for me.

    I miss you, Mama.

    I love you.

                                                                                                Daddy

Feeling overwhelmed right now

Dear Mama,

    I am feeling overwhelmed right now. I don't know if it's really overwhelmed, or just another episode of anxiety, or I am overwhelmed with anxiety. I don't know what I feel right now, Mama. But I know I am not okay.

    I have a busking gig on Saturday at the Museo Ning Angeles again, Mama. The place where I had a lot of bloopers last May. I'll be back there this Saturday, and I am afraid I'll have the same experience again. I don't know why I said yes, but Angel was pushing me, Mama. I had problem with the spotlight then. I cannot see the markings on my guitar fret that's why I was playing wrong chords in some of the songs. I also had problem with my audio. It was weak, not clear, and I think it was grounded because I was having some crackling sounds. Because of that, my confidence was affected and I struggled throughout my set. I'm not so sure about this Saturday. I also need a new set and a script.

    There's a new puppy in our garage, Mama. I heard it crying in front of our gate around 4:30 a.m. today. I thought it was one of the kittens. I fed it, and it went inside the garage. Because I was afraid it might hurt the kittens, I put it back outside, Mama. But it didn't leave and it didn't stop crying. Until it was able to forced itself through one of the grills, Mama. Now, I don't know what to do it. There's a tiny kitten that seems to be afraid of the puppy. The puppy wanted to play but the kitten was so small, Mama. The tiny kitten is also new here, it just appeared in front of gate last week. Somebody must have dropped it there.

    These, and a lot of other things, Mama. I don't know. I need to practice for my set this Saturday. But I cannot focus because of this anxiety. I don't know what to do, Mama.

    I wish you were here.

                                                                                                Daddy