Monday, March 4, 2013

Dear Mama,

Here I am again, writing a letter to you. I don't know if I should keep on doing this or if it even makes sense. Talking to you and all, like you're just on another part of the globe... yet all I really do is whine and complain.

Today isn't any different. Still no silver lining on the clouds, still no good news to bear. Of course, I am thankful that the kids are healthy, Mama. Everything is doing fine with them, studies and all, sans their school fees.

I met an old friend last week. You know, the one I kept on going to then selling insurance. And after going to his house for almost a year, promising me every time I meet him yet nothing happened until you finally told me to stop going to him. I saw him again in the mall, we had a talk. He wasn't aware that you're not here anymore. Of course, it was more than 10 years since I went to him Mama. He gave me his number and address and told me to call or visit him anytime.

I thought I had an answer, but he never replied to my text messages. Then I remembered what I was doing then, hoping I can sell him insurance. Am I such a jerk, Mama? Why do I meet people who like making a fool of me? People who love taking advantage of me and my vulnerability? Is it really a sin that I rely on people's goodwill and hope that they would respect other people too?

I'm whining again. I'm just running out of time, Mama. If only Atching Ledy would pay the money she owe you, I wouldn't be this desperate begging for other people's mercy. I've been losing friends, Mama. And many have shown their true colors.

I think I should stop, Mama. I'm not making any sense. I wish something good will happen to us, for the sake of the kids... and I wish people will stop making an idiot out of me.

I miss you, Mama. Take care of yourself. I love you.