Happy New Year Mama!

Dear Mama,

Happy New Year! It's officially 2010 Mama. We ate our media noche early so we can rest early too. Tomorrow, we will be going to Parañaque.

The kids are not yet sleeping though, they are playing in the sala Mama. I feel sleepy, maybe I am going to sleep in a little while, will just fix some things.

Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

Happy New Year Mama!

I love you.


Daddy

Prospects of 2010

Dear Mama,

It is now the last of 2009, and I'm looking to 2010 hoping that it will be a better year for us Mama. Thank for all your help, I know you've always been us all these years Mama. I know, because I couldn't have made it without your help.

The kids are still asleep, in a few hours we will be busy ushering in the new year of hope.

Thanks again Mama.

Take care of yourself. I miss you Mama.

I love you.

What to do for New Year?

Dear Mama,

The new year's almost here and I still don't know what to do for our celebration this year. Things like these were a lot easier when you were still here helping me with the planning Mama. No wait, it was you who was actually planning then. That's why I'm having a difficult time.

From the food to the noisemakers that were going to use, I'm still clueless Mama. Although we're not going to have a party like the ones we do on Christmas eve, I still don't want it to pass by with us just waiting for the new year.

I still have two days, maybe I can't think of something. I wish you can help me Mama. Take care of yourself Mama, I need to work now.

I miss you Mama... I really do.

I love you.


Daddy

Waking up with a smile on my face

Dear Mama,

This morning, I woke up feeling light and happy. I think I was even smiling. I don't know why, I can't remember my dream. But I think you have visited me. Thank you very much Mama. It was the best Christmas gift I ever received.

I wish I could see you. I really miss you Mama.

Take care of yourself Mama... and thanks again.

I love you Mama.


Daddy

Just finished with our Christmas party

Dear Mama,

The kids are already asleep now. We were able to hold our Christmas party, and I'd like to think that the kids had fun. We had lots of laughs Mama. The kids readily participated in the games. I'm really happy that we were able to continue this tradition that you have started Mama.

Edgar has the most winnings this year Mama. He even won P100 in the treasure hunt. Angel has the least, I think she didn't even win any of the games. But we had fun Mama. We were always laughing.

They also enjoyed the food, even though it was just a simple feast that we shared for the noche buena.

I hope you were able to watch and join us Mama. We really miss you Mama.

'til next letter Mama. Take of yourself. Merry Christmas.

I love you Mama.


Daddy

Merry Christmas Mama

Dear Mama,

Merry Christmas Mama. In about 4 hours from now, we will be having our family Christmas party. I'm trying to keep the tradition you started alive Mama, even though there's just four of us. I'm glad that the kids are still willing to participate, including Ralph, even though he has already grown.

Still not finish with the preparations though Mama. The foods are just something that are easy to prepare. I bought some and some were given. I think the only one that needs preparation is the salad, and the ham too, I almost forgot.

We're having ube hale, ham, loaf bread, queso de bola, vegetable salad, and Sarsi for the drink. I'm still thinking if I'm going to serve the Sans Rival Mama. I'm very much tempted. You know how I love Sans Rival, but I'm afraid there's already too many food. I hope I can control myself.

I have already discussed the program and the games with the kids Mama. I hope the kids will have fun tonight. Got to prepare now Mama, the house is still a mess. Please watch us Mama. This party is always dedicated to you.

Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

Merry Christmas Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Planning for our party

Dear Mama,

It's only a few days before Christmas, and I'm still not done with my planning for our Christmas party. I still don't know what to prepare - food, games, prizes, etc. And it's only three days before the party!

I want the kids to have fun, so that they would always look forward to it Mama, and hope that they would carry this tradition that you started even when I am gone.

Angel wanted me to prepare my own number too for the intermission, instead of just the three of them performing. Well, I guess, I will... just to be fair to them.

But help me Mama, guide me in the preparation, especially for the food. I still don't know what to cook. Am planning to buy again ready-to-eat foods for Noche Buena. That is if I can't figure out what to prepare Mama.

Oh well, I'm sure I can come out with something. I'll just think of what you were doing then, and hopefully pull this one. I just wish that you can join us Mama... how I really wish.

'til my next letter Mama. Take care of yourself.

I miss you Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Christmas party week

Dear Mama,

This week is 'Christmas party week' for the kids. They will be having their Christmas party this Friday, both Edgar and Angel. Edgar has already bought his gift for their exchange gifts. Unfortunately, Angel hasn't bought anything yet. Maybe we can buy today, I am on leave from work today.

I took a leave Mama, because today is Angel's songfest again in school. She was also chosen as one of those who will dance during the intermission. I don't want to miss that Mama. I hope their class gets a place this time.

Last Sunday, Edgar was part of the choir which competed in a choral competition, and they got first place Mama. He was so proud when he texted my the good news. Because of their winning, they would compete in CDC tomorrow, Thursday. He also got P500 as his share of the prize.

That's all for now Mama. Will update you later, my internet connection is going haywire again.

Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

I love you Mama.


Daddy

It's almost Christmas

Dear Mama,

It's 12:50 a.m. and my eyes are already closing. But I want to finish this letter first because I haven't written again for quite a while.

Tomorrow, I mean later, Edgar will compete as part of the choral group in a choral competition. I might not be able to watch it because I would attend the Familia Christmas party. Usually, I would skip the party and watch Edgar. But this time, I have to be in the party Mama, because I'll be delivering the books.

Angel will dance on Wednesday. I would take a leave from work then so I could watch her.

Everything's fine with us Mama. Am now planning for our Christmas party. My only problem right now is the food, I still don't know what to prepare. Hopeyou can help me Mama.

I'm really sleepy now Mama. So I'll end my letter here.

Take care of yourself. I miss you Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Happy anniversary, Mama

Dear Mama,

Happy anniversary! Today is our 18th wedding anniversary, and I'm very thankful that you were the one God gave me as my wife and the mother of my children. I know, I have not been the perfect husband and have disappointed you once too many. Yet, through all those years Mama, you stood by me, especially on those times when I needed you most. Your understanding was always there.

I thank you Mama for being always there, for bringing out the best in me while being patient for all my imperfections. All those faith in me are what has given me strength until this day, Mama. A guide that I carry with me as I rear the kids, and try my best to nurture them as if you were still here. It's a tall order Mama, but I'm trying. It's the least I could do for all the love and understanding that you have given me.

On occasions like this, while I try to celebrate and be happy with the kids, I couldn't help but miss you even more Mama. I try not ruin the day with being melancholic and emotional, and you know that I'm good at keeping things to myself. But really, I miss you Mama. I really could appreciate your hug right now.

I'm sorry. I got carried away again. I'm at work at now, but I'm looking forward to celebrate the day later with the kids.

'til my next letter Mama. Happy anniversary! Thank you for everything.

I love you Mama.


Daddy

Another week

Dear Mama,

I have completed another week in my job. Although I'm quite adjusted to my new routine, I still miss my old habit Mama. I just cannot write on my work. It's 12:43 a.m. now Mama, I'm about sleep but I want to write to you first.

I really don't have anything to say though. But things are fine with me and the kids, hopefully this would continue. I'm excited for our Christmas party Mama. I still don't know what to cook though. Maybe you can help me.

I'm really sleepy Mama. So I guess I'll stop here. Take care of yourself Mama.

I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

just keeping in touch

Dear Mama,

How are you? I really don't have any news tonight, well sort of. Except that last night, Angel, Edgar and I attended the ECLS graduation while Ralph attended the anniversary of the Immaculate Heart Community.

This day, nothing was special though. Although, after your birthday, I am now discussing with the kids our Christmas party. I already told them that they should still prepare for the intermission, while I'm thinking of games and prizes for the party.

Of course, we'll also have exchanging of gifts. I'm also thinking of what food to prepare. I don't think I can buy food December 24, so I better psyche myself up on cooking.

Well, that will be all for now Mama. It's 12:16 a.m., I still have to wake up early and prepare breakfast for the kids. Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Your birthday cake

Dear Mama,

Happy birthday! Today, is officially your birthday! I woke the kids up at 5 a.m. so we can visit you early at La Pieta Mama. I think we were already already there before 6 a.m., it was still dark then. I was happy that I was able to bring the kids to you. I hope it made you happy Mama, and I really wish you can still appreciate the flowers I'm giving you.

From La Pieta, we went to have a quick breakfast because we don't want to be late for the mass at 8:30 a.m. We have requested that you to be included in the mass intentions Mama. It's the best I can do to celebrate your birthday.

After mass, we just went home to rest. Ralph has to go to the IHCC community because they have a practice.

Unlike last year where I cooked spaghetti and prepared fruit salad, I just bought everything to celebrate your birthday this year Mama. I went out in the afternoon to buy palabok and a cake. Angel requested for ice cream too.

Here's the birthday cake I bought for you Mama.


It's a mango cake Mama. I did not choose a chocolate cake this time, for a change.

At around 4 p.m., when Ralph already came home, we already sat at the dining table to celebrate your birthday. We said a little prayer, and of course, the kids and I sang happy birthday for you, Mama. Hope it made you happy.

I promise to continue celebrating your birthday year after year Mama, and I'll tell the kids to continue doing this even when I am gone.

Really wishing you can join us Mama... I miss you a lot.

'til my next letter Mama. Take care of yourself... and happy birthday again.

I love you Mama.


Daddy

Happy Birthday, Mama!

Dear Mama,

It's 10:30 PM. In less than two hours, it will be officially your birthday. Happy birthday, Mama! How I wish I can hug and kiss you on your birthday. I already made plans with the kids for your birthday, I just hope we can do them to celebrate your special day. I really wish you can join us Mama.

I guess you might already know our plans, but let's just say you don't, and I won't tell you now so we can surprise you. Let's just wait for your birthday, okay?

I miss you Mama, I really do... especially, on days like this one.

Take care of yourself Mama. Happy birthday!

I love you.

Daddy

Having a hard time adjusting...

Dear Mama,

I admit, right now I'm still having a hard time adjusting to my new schedule. I am still not use to following a routine Mama. It used to be that I own my time, but that is not possible now. That's why I'm always in a hurry every morning Mama, because I don't want to be late for work. And in the afternoon, I am again in a hurry to go home because I am worried about the kids.

This is really a big adjustment for all of us Mama. Ralph has to be more responsible now, Edgar needs to go home earlier that he used to, and Angel is being fetched from school by either Ate Tey or Nanay, instead of me.

Hopefully, I'm doing the right thing Mama, because this would help me provide for the kids. Please look after the kids while I'm at work Mama, I always worry about them.

That's all for now Mama, sorry for not writing for quite some time, I am not yet used to my schedule.

Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

My first day of work

Dear Mama,

This afternoon I reported to my first day of work. When I went to my new job, I was surprised to see that the person I will be replacing was my classmate in college. I'm glad, because it will make the transition smoother Mama.

One problem though, Mama, was with the kids. I have to drop by at Sta. Teresita to pick them up. This is creating a big concern for me, Mama. It's making me think twice about the job, because I have to leave them and the time they'll be going home is the time that Ralph will be in school.

I hope I can solve this problem soon Mama.

That will be all for now Mama, I'll update you later.

Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

I got hired

Dear Mama,

I am so excited to tell you this news. I got hired Mama! I received a call this afternoon, I got the job and I'm going to start tomorrow!

I'm both excited and nervous Mama. I hope I will do good, for the sake of the kids. I just wish that this time around, it will be a permanent job for me.

How I wish you're here Mama and share with me this excitement I'm feeling right now. I really miss you Mama.

Please take care of yourself. I'll update you later.

I love you Mama.


Daddy

No feedback yet

Dear Mama,

It's now Wednesday and I still haven't received any call nor feedback about the interview I had last week. I thought their requirement was urgent Mama, maybe I didn't make it again.

I don't know Mama, maybe it's because at the back of my mind, I really don't want to work. I know I don't want to Mama, but I need to. I need to work for the kid. Honestly, it's not that I really don't want to, it's just that it's been too long since I've work with a company.

Mama, how I wish I could your words of encouragement now. I just need them. If I could just even hug you or hold your hand, I know I'll feel better. I miss you Mama. I want to be with you soon.

Take care of yourself Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

I didn't not attend the reunion tonight

Dear Mama,

I was supposed to attend our high school reunion tonight. I have already talked to the kids and asked them if I can leave them to attend the event. They all said yes, and that I should not worry. Ralph is now feeling better Mama, and Edgar who had a slight fever in the morning was also well in the afternoon.

So I cooked their dinner in the afternoon, and told them to eat while I wash the utensils I used.

But as I was about to finish washing, I heard Ralph and Angel arguing again, with Angel almost shouting. Now, this really frustrates me Mama. How can I even attend the reunion, when I know I can't even leave the kids for a while?

Why are they always fighting Mama? What should I do so I can make them cooperate with each other? It looks like Ralph and Angel are having a hard time to co-exist. Am I such a bad father Mama? It's like I'm not teaching them anything.

In my frustration, I decided not to leave anymore Mama. I guess, I shouldn't really leave the kids all alone. I'm sorry for even planning to attend the event Mama.

If only you were, at least they would have a good role model, and perhaps they will treat each other better. I really wish you were here Mama... I do.

Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Catching up

Dear Mama,

I'm trying to catch up with my work. I have a lot I want to write, but I can't put anything into words Mama.

After Edgar got sick, it's Ralph's turn again. He didn't attend class last night because he's not feeling well. He started to get sick last Thursday, when Edgar was already fine. But this morning, it seems that Ralph is also fine. I hope it continues that way.

Everytime they got sick Mama, I asked myself what you were doing then while you were still here with us. Sometimes I ask the kids. Although these previous illness were new to us, so I was just praying and hoping you'll drop by to help us.

What am I saying? I'm sorry Mama, I know you need to rest. It's just...

I'll guess I need to stop now, lest I go there again. Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Ate Let, Koya Boy. Edgar, and my interview

Dear Mama,

Koya Boy already left for Guam last Sunday, while Ate Let went home for Canada last night.

Edgar is sick again. He said he is having difficulty of breathing. He said, he is ready to go to school tomorrow. I hope he'll be okay Mama.

Tomorrow, I'll have another job interview in Clark Mama. I really don't know what my chances, or if I even want to get hired. But they said I should find real work. I guess, I have to think of the children's sake Mama. So wish me luck.

Goodnight Mama. I hope I'll see you in my dreams.

I miss you Mama. I love you.


Daddy

Please hold my hand...

Dear Mama,

Please hold my hand... I need to Mama... please...

Finding work for me

Dear Mama,

Dadz has been busy lately contacting his friends. He's trying to find work for me Mama. He is calling all his friends and former co-workers from CDC asking them to help me. As you know, last year, the person they called to help me did nothing Mama. Ironically, they helped him then when he was needing work.

Anyway, I'm really not sure if I could get hired. I'm 41 now, and I was having a hard time when I was even younger. They will leave on Tuesday, so all Dadz can do now is asked his friends.

I don't know if I won't be given that overqualified/over-age treatment again Mama. I'm not even sure if I want to work again, or even apply for work again.

They said I need to work. Perhaps they know better than me Mama. I don't know.

Take care of yourself now Mama. I will be with you soon.

I miss you Mama. I love you.


Daddy

Tatay was finally laid to rest

Dear Mama,

I was planning to write about this last night, I don't know why, but I haven't gotten into it. I just want to tell you Mama that Tatay was finally laid to rest yesterday. But I'm sure you may already know it by now.

Kuya Boy will be staying here until Tatay's 9th day, and he'll fly back the next day. Ate Let and Dadz, I believe will flying on the following day after that.

Edgar and Angel are back to school now. Ralph won't be having his class until Monday. He's sick now Mama, he has fever. I don't know how he got it, he was just fine yesterday before we left home for the burial. Anyway, I've already given him medicine Mama. But please, help me take care of Ralph, Mama.

That's about it for now Mama. Please take care of yourself.

I miss you Mama. I love you.


Daddy

Just an update

Dear Mama,

Today is the third day of Tatay's wake. Kuya Boy will arriving this morning too. The interment will on Tuesday Mama, Edgar might not be able to join us then because they will resume classes on that day.

Ralph has been staying overnight at the wake for two days now Mama. He's on his way home now.

I really don't know what to say right now Mama. Please do take care yourself. I miss you Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Tatay passed away...

Dear Mama,

Tatay passed away at around 2 a.m. this morning. But I guess you already know that Mama, he's with there together with you now.

Take care Mama.

I love you.

I miss you.

Daddy

Tatay is still in the ICU

Dear Mama,

Tatay is still in the ICU, and still unconscious. From what I saw yesterday, I think he's getting worse Mama. I don't want to go to the hospital anymore. I don't want to see him suffering.

Until now, we still don't know what will happen Mama. I'm not sure what to expect.

That's all I can say now Mama. Take care of yourself.

I miss you Mama. I love you.


Daddy

Tatay was transferred to the ICU

Dear Mama,

When I went to the hospital this afternoon, I saw that they were taking Tatay out of his room. He was transferred to the ICU Mama. He was really pale and weak, he wasn't conscious. I hope I am wrong that he is now surviving because of the life support system - the oxygen and the GNT placed on him.

Ate Let came at the hospital at around 4 pm and only have to visit Tatay in the ICU. I was really hoping that at least she would find him in the room, to make her travel worth.

I'm worried about Tatay, I hope she gets through Mama. I also pray that Nanay would be strong.

That will be all for now Mama, just updating on what happened today. Take care of yourself.

I miss you Mama. I love you.


Daddy

So much to tell

Dear Mama,

Sorry for not writing again for quite a while. Lots of things have happened and I hope I can tell them all to you Mama. Ate Let is coming home, she actually arrived already, we're just waiting for her to come to the house. She'll be staying here Mama, that's why we were busy cleaning the house.

Unfortunately, before she arrived, Tatay was confined again yesterday. He's the reason why Ate Let wants to come home, to see Tatay. Now, she'll have to see him in the hospital. I was really hoping that it won't be the case, I was even telling Tatay that Ate Let will take her to Parañaque because he wants to go there.

Tatay is already weak Mama. The doctor wants to insert a tube in his nostrils because he's not taking any food.

But before that Mama, Edgar went home one day telling me he was picked as one of the school's players for sepak takraw in the public meet. He just doesn't know when. He was training hard for that Mama. Remember what I told you about his intrams experience? Because they lost, he worked even harder just to be able to get into the team.

Unfortunately, one day he came home telling me that his left arm was in pain. He slipped while going up the stairs in school and he had a bad fall. We wrapped in bandage and used the hand-sling support that Ralph used before. He was complaining for almost a week Mama. I thought he would need to be brought to the orthopedic. But he's fine now Mama, his arm is okay now.

Angel, on the other hand, has been going home alone during their exam. Because we were busy cleaning here, I told her if she wants to go home alone and she said yes immediately. But on the last day, she called and asked me to pick her up because her classmate left her. We were laughing while we were going home Mama, because she found out she really cannot go home alone.

I guess it's already a long letter Mama. I hope I didn't bore you with all these news. Oh, by the way, I don't have a job now. At least temporarily, I hope. The site I've been writing to is migrating to a new host, and what perfect timing! It's Ralph's enrollment for the 2nd semester! Oh well, I've been provided with before, I hope I can come up with something this time.

Really, that will be all Mama. You can rest now. Take care of yourself.

I miss you Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Special breakfast

Dear Mama,

Today I prepared a special breakfast for the kids. Well, it was not really special Mama, it was only pandesal dipped in egg and then fried. I only said special because it was requested. Who else could have requested it? You're right Mama, it was Edgar. Funny, I even have to cook a second batch because the first batch, 20+ pieces, wasn't enough for the kids.

You know Mama, something funny happened to me last night. After mass here in Marisol, I gave a copy of the book to the priest (Among Sol), I just thought he could appreciate it and might even use some of the stories in his homilies. But I was surprised because he asked me to sign it when he learned I was one of the author. I didn't know what to write Mama, the kids were laughing at me because I was asking them what, and where in the book, should I write. I don't think I'll get used to that Mama. I hope nothing of that nature would happened again, else I might faint.

Still working hard Mama, hoping to earn enough for Ralph's enrollment. Although I might resort to borrowing for a again because there isn't enough time (and opportunities) to raise the amount. Maybe things will pick up soon.

I've said a mouthful Mama. Take care of yourself. I miss you Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Kid's exam and some updates

Dear Mama,

Next week will be the kid's exam before they start their one week semestral break. Edgar is serious in honing his sepak takraw skills, he wants to play in the public meet Mama. Angel's script was presented in school this Friday, she also directed the presentation. It wasn't much Mama, because of lack of time and cooperation, but her teacher said her storyline was good.

Although she disappointed me again today Mama. I won't go into the details, I'm sure you've seen it all. I hope it's all part of our growing up Mama.

Last Wednesday, I got dizzy after getting angry at the kids. I tend to lose my cool lately again Mama. I am shouting more often again, and it doesn't feel good. I wish I could get a hold of myself, because I've been feeling a lot in my body lately Mama.

Anyway, your birthday's almost here Mama. We are going to celebrate it Mama. And I'm going to cook for you to make your birthday a happy one.

That's all for now Mama. Take care of yourself. I miss you Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

I have a book now

Dear Mama,

The book is out. The one that I told you long time ago... a book where I am one of the featured author. I am now in a book Mama! Aren't you proud of me? I hope you are Mama. I wish I could share with you the excitement I am feeling right now in this book.

If only this one came while you were still here Mama... if only...

Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Edgar's intrams experience

Dear Mama,

Edgar came home early last Friday from school. It was their intrams, and like I told you before, he played in the sepak takraw. I asked him how was the game, he said they got third place. Well, at least they didn't get fourth which is the last. He said he'll be playing again next year and he'll make sure they'll win.

How are you Mama? You're birthday is next month. What do you want us to do on your birthday?

Tomorrow is the fiesta in Angeles City, I don't know why, but I told the kids that I would let them go to their Apo if they want to. I even told them I will accompany them. I hope I made the right decision Mama.

I really don't know what to say here Mama. I wish I was really talking to you. I miss you Mama.

Take care of yourself.

I love you.


Daddy

Edgar is an athlete now

Dear Mama,

Just want to tell you that our son Edgar Allan is now an athlete. He is into sepaktakraw. I don't know how he got interested, but he sure looks happy and excited that he is a player now Mama. Tomorrow will be their intrams and he is excited to compete. I hope he wins Mama.

That's all I want to tell Mama. Still not feeling well, although a lot better than before.

Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

I love you Mama.


Daddy


P.S. Will you make me up with a kiss tomorrow, Mama?

thanks

Mama, please come

I don't feel well Mama, please come

Angel wants to have bangs

Dear Mama,

Angel have been bugging me lately, asking me if she could have bangs. I told her it's up to her, just be sure it's what she wants. The last time Mama, when she felt her hair was already long, she had it cut. When it was short, she said she wanted it long better.

How I wish she could discuss this things with you Mama. You would know better how to handle it. If only she still have you with her.

I think I should stop now Mama, before I go anywhere else. Take care of yourself Mama. I really miss you.

I love you Mama.


Daddy

Angel said sorry

Dear Mama,

Finally! Angel said sorry as I scolded her this afternoon. She came home at around 6 PM Mama. I did not pick her up from school because she said they'll go to her classmate's house to practice their dance. I allowed her Mama because she said she'll be going home at around 4 PM.

Unfortunately, she wasn't home by 4. It was getting late and I was worried Mama, until finally she arrived at 6 PM. I talked to her and asked her why she was late. I was worried because there's a typhoon coming, and she, the smallest one wasn't home yet.

She said she was late because of the traffic, and that they ate at her classmate's house that's why they didn't leave early. I was mad. I just asked her to dress so we can have our dinner.

Afterwards, she came back to me Mama and said "sorry." She explained that she was really late because of the traffic. I believed her because it was raining. I was just happy that she finally said sorry Mama.

That's all for now Mama, I feel sleepy already. Take care of yourself Mama.

I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

I miss you Mama

Dear Mama,

Hello. Are you surprised you're getting more letters from me lately? Maybe it's because I am in front of the computer most of the time now Mama, trying to write as much as I can so I can earn enough for the kids... and also to keep myself busy.

I wish I was talking as often like this with you when you were still here Mama, instead of just worrying then how you were feeling or where we're going to get the money for your next dialysis.

But of course, there's really nothing we can do now. I can only reach you through this blog... and I can only believe that you are reading my letters... really.

I miss you Mama. I don't say it as often lately, but I do, I really miss you. Every success, every failures, every good news or bad news, every jokes that I hear, I was hoping that I can share them all with you.

Why do we have to be this way Mama? We were kind and obedient, we did everything that we think was right, we even served in the church... and this is the reward that we got?

I'm sorry Mama, I know I really should not be talking like this anymore, but I just have to let it out of my system. I'm really sorry.

Going back to work now Mama, excuse this little episode. I'll avoid these emotions as much as I can. Take care of yourself Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Aren't you proud of me?

Dear Mama,

I did it! I was able to raise the money for Angel's tuition fee for the 2nd grading period. Aren't you proud of me, Mama? I just need to work some more now so I can earn excess money for our daily expenses as well as other debts.

After that, I'll be working again for Ralph's enrollment which will be due perhaps mid or last week of October. I don't want to ask for more help from Ate Let Mama, I want to earn the money for their tuition fee by myself. It's hard because there aren't too many writing opportunities lately. I hope it gets better soon.

I can say we are lucky Mama, because we were spared from the damage brought by Ondoy, unfortunately there are so many who were affected by it. I was even surprised that there was also a landslide in Arayat and families were affected. Help me pray for them Mama.

Will be gathering some of our old clothes and see where I can bring them. I know, Angel's school would also have campaign drive for the victims. I'd like to donate some more Mama, so I'm working for it too.

That's all for now Mama. Don't worry about us, we're safe. Do take care of yourself.

I miss you Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Strong winds last night

Dear Mama,

I was not able to work yesterday, we don't have power from 3PM until evening. The wind was so strong Mama, I'm just glad the kids were all here safe otherwise I would be sick just worrying about them.

The power came back at around 11PM, but by that time I was already sleepy to do anything Mama. So I decided to start early today. I hope I can do more so I can make up for the lost opportunities yesterday. Hopefully, the weather would be normal today Mama.

That's all for now Mama. Take care of yourself. Please continue watching the kids especially when they're not with me.

I miss you Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

I scolded Angel the other day

Dear Mama,

I meant to write this to you last Wednesday. I scolded Angel on that day after we arrived home from school. She irritated me Mama with her inconsistent answers, she was lying to me and she made me look like I'm dumb.

What's worse Mama, is that all throughout, she wasn't remorseful, even defending herself. Of course, she never said sorry Mama. I really don't know how to correct that.

That's all I can say now Mama. Please pray for me, that I won't be losing my eyesight anytime soon. I can't see well anymore Mama, but there's nothing I can do, my work is on the Internet.

Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Ralph's finals

Dear Mama,

Yesterday, I was able to pay Ralph's tuition fee for the Finals, although I wasn't really proud of it this time Mama because I asked for financial assistance from Ate Let. Ralph and Angel's tuition are due at almost the same time, and I can't raise enough for both of them. Actually, I still don't have enough for Angel's tuition fee Mama, but I'm working on it. It will due next week.

Last Saturday, we went out to watch the free concert at Nepo Quadrangle Mama. I wanted the kids to enjoy, I know they will like because they like all the bands who'll be performing. Unfortunately, there was rain and we haven't been able to watch it well. I was also disappointed Mama, because they sell liquors to minors, which was required to get a ticket.

Anyway, it's almost Christmas Mama and I'm excited for the kids. But before that, it'll your birthday first. Of course, we're going to celebrate it like we did last year Mama. I'm still thinking what to do.

That'll all for now Mama. Please take care of yourself. I miss you Mama.

I love you.



Daddy

How are you?

Dear Mama,

I can't believe I haven't written anything to you for quite some time now. I'm sorry about that Mama. I just don't have anything to write and I don't want to bore you. I've been focusing on my 'work' now Mama, Ralph's Finals and Angel's 2nd grading period are coming soon and at almost the same time at that. That's why I have to work hard.

I'm getting always sleepy again lately Mama, I hope there's nothing wrong with me. Sometimes I push myself to work so I could earn more. I'm talking paracetamol like I'm taking candy Mama. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't.

Anyway, like I said, I haven't much to say except that I miss you Mama. I wish I can be with you. Take of yourself.

I love you Mama.



Daddy

Ralph's birthday and Angel will be going home alone today

Dear Mama,

Ralph went home at past midnight yesterday. I just let him be, it was his birthday. He went out with some of his classmates. He told me they drank Red Horse because somebody offered to treat them. They have only met the guy at the place where they went, I haven't asked him where it was yet. I'm just glad he was able to go home safe. At least he was able to celebrate his birthday.

Angel will be going home at 2PM today. She asked me not to pick her up from school today because she'll be going home with her friend Carmela. She lives just 2 blocks aways from us Mama, so I allowed her. I told her to be careful.

I always feel sleepy again lately Mama. I don't why. This has stopped a few days ago, and now it's coming back. I hope it's nothing serious.

Take care of yourself Mama. That will be all for now.

I miss you Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

It's almost Ralph's birthday...

Dear Mama,

In less than 2 hours Ralph will be 17. He is still awake, he said he'll wait for his birthday. He is now playing with his new cell phone. I bought him a new cell phone for his birthday gift this afternoon Mama. All of us went to SM this afternoon so we can buy the cell phone and to have a little celebration for his birthday.

I know, we could have used the money for other things, but if I didn't buy him now I may never get to buy him anymore. Besides, I've really worked hard for those money Mama, so I can buy him a new cell phone. His old unit is already malfunctioning. I just hope he takes care of it Mama.

We were able to have a simple dinner at a fastfood before we left. Practically, we just roamed around the mall. Aside from buying the new cell phone and eating, we really didn't do anything else Mama. That's only as far as our money can take us. I hope the kids can appreciate it. How I wish you could be with us Mama.

That's all for now Mama. I haven't written anything yet. I don't know if I can still write now, it's already 10:40 PM and my eyes are almost closing. Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

I feel cold...

Dear Mama,

I just woke up from an afternoon nap. It was good. But I feel cold now Mama, and my back aches. Is this a sign of old age Mama? I hope I'm not having any symptoms of any disease or sickness... I can't afford to be sick now Mama. I have a lot of work to do.

Ralph, by the way, is not yet home. He went out with his classmates today (Saturday). He said one of his classmates is going to treat them. It's his classmate's birthday. On Monday, it will be Ralph's birthday... I wonder if he would return the favor Mama. I'm planning to buy him a new cellphone for his birthday.

That's all for now Mama. Take care of yourself.

I wish you were here... I miss you Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Angel is in the Top 10

Dear Mama,

Sorry I haven't been writing lately. I was trying to earn more for Ralph's birthday on Monday. I promised I would buy him a new cell phone. I want to fulfill that promise to him Mama.

Angel just got her class card now, and you now what Mama? She is included in the Top 10! She is ranked no. 8 Mama! And to think that she was always complaining, I'm glad she was still able to get a spot in the Top 10.

I told her she can improve it next grading Mama... I know she can. But I'm not pressuring her though.

Edgar, on the other hand, has 70's in his grades again Mama. If I'm not mistaken, his two subjects got 76 or 77, and one of them is Values! He said he wasn't able to pass a requirement because he was sick when it was due, when he reported to class, the teacher said the grades were already computed. I said he should improve his grades. We don't want to be looking for another school on his senior year in high school.

That's all for now. Will be getting prepared for dinner a little later, although honestly, I still don't know what to serve them this time. I hope I can think of something fast.

Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

We have a new dog....

Dear Mama,

We have a new dog. His name is Benz. Angel saw him on the street while we were on our way to school. I promised her I will take the dog home on my way back... which I did Mama.

Now, the new dog is at home, and he seemed to like Ralph. I hope he likes Angel too when she arrived this afternoon. I still don't know how Chuchi, our existing pet, will react to him Mama. She hasn't seen him yet, but I know she can smell him.

He's so cute Mama, and so fragile too. That's why I agreed to take him home. I hope we can take good care of him... and that the kids would learn to be responsible too.

That's all for now Mama. Take care of yourself. I miss you Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Ralph got through me again Mama

Dear Mama,

Ralph got through me again. I scolded him again this morning Mama. He came home late last night when he was supposed to come home early. We waited for him so we can all have dinner together. I even cooked the soup late so that it will still be hot when he comes home... but he didn't come home early Mama, that's why I was furious.

I tried to text him to at least know what he's up to, but he never replied. Why is he like that Mama? How can I teach him to be considerate of others? Angel and Edgar were already hungry but I told them to wait for Ralph.

Did I raise him wrongly Mama? Am I not a good father to him? Please help me Mama, I really don't want arguing with him anymore. I know he's a good boy but he's too easy to influence. He easily follows everything that his classmate tells him, and it seems he's not even thinking.

What should I do Mama? I tried talking to him about this already, I don't know what to do. How I wish you were here Mama... how I wish.


Daddy

It's September

Dear Mama,

It's already September, and you know that when the 'ber' months arrive it also means Christmas is fast approaching. I'm excited for this year Mama, excited for the kids. I hope I can make it a great Christmas for them. Last year wasn't much of a holiday, I will make it up for them this year Mama, I promise.

But before Christmas, it will be Ralph's birthday in less than two weeks Mama. I'm working hard so I can buy him a new cell phone, his old one really needs to be changed. Yes Mama, I'll work hard to afford that gift for him, after all I believe he deserve it.

Then after his birthday, it will be your birthday again in November, and we will celebrate it again Mama, and make you happy and proud of us. I will always make your birthday a special day for us Mama... I will.

That's all for now Mama. Take care of yourself now. I really miss you Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Just another letter

Dear Mama,

How are you? I'm sorry I haven't written for quite a few days. Everytime I plan to write, my mind would always wander. I don't understand why.

Lots of things happened this week Mama. Angel had their 'fiesta sa Holy Family' and also their celebration of the 'Buwan ng Wika' where she danced. In both events, she was very frustrated and almost depressed, all because of her adviser. I worry for her Mama. Please tell me what to do.

Edgar got sick again. I hope it's not what I'm thinking Mama. He said he's having difficulty breathing sometimes. I hope I can remedy it with fruits and juices.

Ralph... well, still the same Mama.

I barely made it this month Mama. I'm referring to our finances. I'm having trouble managing money now, because the 'income' is not as big as last month. This is the only problem with work Mama, it's not regular. Hopefully, things will get better soon.

That will be all for now Mama. Please pray for me. Take care of yourself.

I miss you Mama.

I love you.



Daddy

Angel needs a costume

Dear Mama,

Angel needs a costume for her interpretative dance and I don't know where to get it. What will I do Mama? Please help me find the white skirt and black long sleeve that Angel needs. There's none at Sta. Teresita. I hope I can find one today Mama, please help me.

We started the paluwagan again today Mama, upon the request of EA. Maybe he really needs money.

That's all for now Mama. Please help me.

Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Edgar, Angel and Ralph

Dear Mama,

It's 1:09 AM, I was about to sleep but I remembered I haven't written for some days now. Edgar is not here Mama, he is in a 'stay-in' seminar being held at Balibago. I allowed him to go so he would learn to be by himself. The seminar is about visual arts Mama. I hope he's just fine.

Ralph will go to Arayat tomorrow. He said they would have to reviews or study the place. Perhaps, they would conduct some interviews too. I just hope, he'll be okay too Mama.

Angel will have their practice in school tomorrow too. And after lunch, they might go to their classmate's house or they would go here to continue practicing. Either way, I'm worried Mama.

By the way, we went to Kyla's birthday this afternoon. Fortunately, nothing untoward happened. I wish everything was sincere. At least the kids saw their cousins, aunties and uncles from your side. We also chance upon Apo who was about to go home.

That's all for now Mama. Take care of yourself. I miss you Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Thank you for taking care of Angel

Dear Mama,

Thank you for taking care of Angel. She has fever this morning, and I know that you took care of her that's why she's well now and can already go to school tomorrow. Thank you Mama.

Louie texted me this morning Mama. He's inviting us on Friday, it's Kayla's 7th birthday. Angel wants to go. Maybe we would go. I hope nothing untoward happen on that day Mama... I hope.

Take care of yourself now. I miss you Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

What should I do Mama?

Dear Mama,

Lately it seems that I've lost zest in blogging. Ironically, it started after I won the emerging influential blogger award. It doesn't feel like fun anymore Mama, somebody took my enthusiasm and threw it out of the window.

What should I do Mama? I know I should keep on going, it's my bread and butter, that's why I am giving it my all. You know how I work when I give everything I got Mama. Why does thing need to happen?

They were my friends Mama. Yes, until now I still see them as friends. I no longer want any enemies Mama... all I want to do is write.

I'm sorry Mama, bothering you again with all these nonsense. I really wish I can hug you now, I'm sure it will everything alright.

Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Be here for me Mama...

I really need you now Mama... I wish I can be with you...

I want to hug you Mama

Dear Mama,

I need your hug now... I wish I can hold you Mama

I hope you're proud of me Mama

Dear Mama,

I really wish you could be here now, and share with me the joy that I'm feeling right now. So that I can offer it to you, and once again make you proud of me.

Last night I was awarded as one of the emerging influential bloggers Mama, it's not that big an award I know, but still it's a recognition of all the efforts that I put in my blogging. I really hope you're proud of me Mama.

This award is for you Mama... I love you.


Daddy

Good night Mama...

Dear Mama,

It's 2AM already. I am about to sleep, 'just thought of writing you a letter just to say good night.

Good night Mama.Take care of yourself.

I hope I can dream of you Mama. I miss you.

I love you.

Daddy

I wish you were with us...

Dear Mama,

Today, the kids and I went to the mall. We didn't have electricity the whole day that's why we decided to spend the day at the mall. We just roamed around, ate, and then roamed again. After which, we went home. We were just killing time Mama because there's nothing to do at home, and it's so hot. You know how Angel gets irritated when its hot.

There were so many people at the mall today Mama. Perhaps they were there for the same reason too, to get away from the heat. There were families... complete families.

I wish you were with us this afternoon Mama, we could have more fun... because we're complete. I miss you Mama... I really do. I wish I could be with you... I miss you.

I love you Mama.


Daddy

I'm getting good!

Dear Mama,

You know what? I think I'm getting good in budgeting Mama. I am listing all our expenses for the last two weeks. Last week, I spent more than P1,000 on food but this week, it's only P500 plus. Isn't that good Mama? I noticed, every time I went to pick up Angel at school, I passed by the grocery store and buy something. And I always end up with food in the freezer - uncooked. This week, I went to the grocery store only once.

I hope I can keep this up Mama. Right now, I'm concentrating on the food, which is a necessity. I'm also cooking now Mama, only I'm doing easy dishes. You know, the frying thing, maybe I'll try to cook 'real' food soon.

The contest is over Mama, the winners are not yet announced. I don't know what to expect and I don't want to think about it.

That's all for now Mama. Take care of yourself. I miss you Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

I'm nervous Mama

Dear Mama,

I'm nervous Mama. Today is the last day of the contest for the influential blogs, I don't know if I'll make it. I'm hoping I would Mama, but I just don't know enough people. Times like these, I could use your help, I know you can convince a lot of people to support me.

This means a lot to me Mama, I hope to make you proud by proving that I am good in what I'm doing. I hope people can get to read my blogs and believed that I'm worth the vote.

Angel is in the school now Mama, and so is Edgar. Ralph will have a class this morning too, he'll be on his way anytime now.

Haven't taken my breakfast yet, I'm on my second cup of coffee though. I feel restless Mama. I know, my life doesn't depend on this. But it's been so long since I really got something to prove for myself.

In moments like these, I really could use your hug Mama... I miss you.

Take care of yourself. I think I bothered you enough, just please pray for me, okay.

I love you Mama.


Daddy

Just an update letter

Dear Mama,

I just arrived home. I took Angel to her school, Edgar is also in school now. Ralph is still sleeping. His class is still in the afternoon.

You know what Mama? Yesterday, I paid for our electric bill, last week I was able to update my Digitel account and also paid for the water bill. Both electric and water bills are for just one month, and they're already paid. Isn't that what you always tell me Mama? So that they won't pile up.

But what I'm really proud about them Mama is that, I paid them all from my blogging income! Finally, I'm getting something from blogging Mama. Still, not enough to cover for all our expenses, but at least I'm getting somewhere Mama. I hope you're proud of me.

Edgar once again asked me about his intention to join a band. He said they would have practice on Friday. I am inclined to allow him Mama. We both promise not to get in the way of our children's dreams. Let's just hope that we have laid enough foundation on him to avoid all those negative things attached to being a band member.

That would be all for now Mama. Will take my breakfast now. Ralph would be waking up soon I guess. Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Going out with the kids

Dear Mama,

We have just arrived home. We went to watch a movie, me and the kids. Last night I treated them to a dinner. I'm doing this Mama so they could take a break from home and also so that I could bond with them. I'm not really a good housekeeper for them at home.

I want to tell you something Mama, lately I've been feeling strange. Since last month, I always feel sleepy most of the time. This past few days, I feel pain at the back of my neck and a recurring headache. I hope it's nothing serious Mama. I plan to see a doctor soon.

That's all for now Mama. Take care of yourself Mama.

I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Edgar wants to join a band

Dear Mama,

Edgar asked me the other day if I would allow him to join a band. He has been invited by a schoolmate to be their lead guitarist Mama. They would even join a battle of band competition once I allow him.

Would I allow him Mama? Half of me said I should, perhaps if you were here, you would allow him too. We know that we should encourage their talent, and Edgar is taking a shot of what was my dream before, to be a part of a band.

But I'm worried Mama. The skeptic in me is concern about what would happen to him. What type of influence would his band mates bring to him.

I haven't told him yes yet Mama, and didn't tell no either. I want him to pursue his dream, but I am afraid for him. I hope would make the right decision Mama. Because I know that whatever my answer is, it would have an affect on his future.

If only you were here Mama... if only you were here.

Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

About Angel... and her dog Chuchi

Dear Mama,

It has happened. The thing that I most feared has happened Mama. Angel has her first 'visit' and it came while she was in school. It's a good thing her classmate thought her Mama, otherwise I wouldn't have known what to do.

Last Sunday, on our way home from the homecell, she said she's felling pain below her abdomen and told me that 'it's about come.' I don't know how she knew it, but we passed by the drugstore and bought napkin just to be prepared.

It didn't arrived that night Mama, but on Monday I told her to bring it school just in case it does. And she didn't tell me anymore about it. I just found out this morning because she's bringing another one and told me she has used the one she brought yesterday.

I was relieved Mama that someone was able to assist her. It wasn't really as scary as I thought it would be. But of course, it would have been different if you were here to guide her. I hope there wouldn't be any complications.

Angel's dog Chuchi is also our concerned now Mama. She hasn't eaten for two days and refused whatever we give her. She doesn't want to play anymore.

I'm worried because Angel loves her so much. She makes Angel happy just to see her. I hope she recovers and gets well.

That's all for now Mama. I wish I was saying these things to you personally. I really miss you Mama.

Take care of yourself.

I love you.


Daddy

A rainy Saturday morning....

Dear Mama,

Good morning. Good thing today's Saturday Mama and there's no school. The rain have been pouring all night long. I don't know if there's another storm.

I was supposed to write you last night, but I held if off lest I would rant to you again. Because it was already past ten in the evening and Ralph wasn't home yet. And if I hadn't text him, he wouldn't inform me that one of his classmate was having his birthday.

Like I said, they're growing up Mama, and I can't prevent them from having their social life. My request from Ralph was simple, just to inform me so that I won't worry. I don't know if it's intentional or not, but he doesn't Mama. And I don't want to be breathing over his shoulders always, it won't help him.

Wish I knew how to handle him and make him even more responsible. I don't want to think I'm failing... but it looks like I am Mama. I really wish you were here.

That's all for now Mama. Breakfast in a moment.

Take care of yourself. I miss you mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Before I go to sleep

Dear Mama,

Before I go to sleep, I thought of writing you a letter just to keep you updated with what's happening (although I'm sure you already knew it). Like I said before, the two boys are growing up and they are getting 'busy' these past few days, Angel on the other hand is really getting serious in her studies.

I'm doing better in my blogging now Mama. Hopefully by next month, I would get something more tangible for all my writing efforts. Pray for me Mama.

Sometimes I wish that you just left and went to a far away place Mama. At least I can expect to see you again then. But whenever the reality of what happened comes to me... it still hurt Mama... I still miss you. I really wish you're still here.

Take care of yourself Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

I miss your embrace

Dear Mama,

I really need your hug right now... I miss your embrace

I wish I can hug you again Mama, even if only in my dreams... I need you Mama


Daddy

It's inevitable Mama... the kids are growing

Dear Mama,

It's really inevitable, and I don't kno if I will be ready Mama. The kids are growing up fast.

Yesterday, Edgar went home late. When I asked him, he said they worked late in school. But since I sensed he's not telling the truth, I asked him again... he said, he accompanied a classmate home. I supposed it's a girl.

Today, Ralph didn't go home for lunch. He just text me and said they are going to his classmate's house. Not to ask my permission Mama, but just to inform me. He knew I would be waiting for him for lunch.

And Angel have been getting lots of calls at nights... mostly from her girl classmates, but there were also boys. I know, they are harmless and all... but they're still boys Mama!

They are growing up fast Mama... making decisions on their own... the boys already looking at their girl classmates.

I know it's normal Mama... but if you were only here, this could be easier to face. I wish you were Mama.

Take care of yourself now Mama. I really miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Tatay is in the hospital

Dear Mama,

Yesterday, Tatay was admitted in the hospital. Ate Det rushed him there because they noticed him pale and having a hard time breathing. He was later diagnosed for pneumonia and other complications, he has a high BP too Mama.

The kids and I were at the movies yesterday when Ate Det texted me Mama, I thought we can finally celebrate a very belated father's day. These past two weekends, all the kids got sick. This time since I didn't get sick, I thought we can celebrate. But I was wrong Mama. Looks like celebration of any sorts is forbidden for me.

Sorry Mama, I'm ranting again. I just don't know what say. I really thought that everything will be fine for us finally.

I'll stop now Mama, please help me pray for Tatay to recover without any further complications.

Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Hope everything goes well

Dear Mama,

The kids are all fine now, nobody is sick anymore. I didn't get sick either, although I always feel sleepy most of the time. If it weren't for the kids' sickness, the last week would have been great for us Mama.

Anyway, it was over and I'm glad we survived it. Hopefully, things will be better from now on.

My blogging income is now becoming regular Mama, I also received money from GSIS. Now I can pay for the children's tuition fee. I was also able to pay some debt, at least now, I can start again with a clean slate. I hope this is the start of good things for us Mama.

Wish you were here. I want to share something with you. But I'll just tell when it finally materializes.

Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Is it my turn now?

Dear Mama,

Hi! Finally, Ralph is fine now. I almost want to ask, "Is it my turn now?" Sorry Mama, I didn't mean it to sound to sarcastic, it's just that I haven't done anything right lately. Edgar, Angel, and then Ralph. I always have to go through these kind of things.

Of course, things would be easier if you were here with us Mama. The kids would get better faster because you knew how to take care of them. I am still bungling, trying to do what I thought you would have done. But there's no substituting a genuine touch and care from you Mama.

That would be all for now Mama, lest I write something sad again. Take care of yourself.

I miss you Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

It happened...

Dear Mama,

I was really hoping it won't happen, but it did Mama. It was late, but still, it did. Ralph came home from school last night not feeling well. He said he was worse while in school, he went to the clinic and they gave him paracetamol.

After eating dinner, he went to sleep. At around 1AM, I woke up to his voice calling. He was asking for medicine, he said his head aches and he was cold. I placed my hand on his forehead and he was very hot Mama. He was almost crying in pain. We know how low Ralph's tolerance to pain is.

Why do this thing happen Mama? I thought what happened last year won't be repeated. But it did. They all got sick again. Ralph is now bed, trying to sleep.

I can only do so much Mama. How can I make him well?

I can only wish you were here Mama... if only for the children

Everything's fine now, except...

Dear Mama,

Everything's fine now. Edgar went home from school feeling well, I was afraid he'll have fever again. Thank you again for helping me Mama.

Now, my problem is about Ralph. Although it's not really a problem. Maybe it's me who needs to adjust Mama. He's getting older and trying to have his own life now, yet it seems I'm trying to hold him down.

Last night, he went home at 10PM Mama, his class ends at 9PM. I asked him why he was late, he said he took his classmate to where she needs to ride to get home. That is after having eaten out, together with some classmates.

I wouldn't really have a problem Mama, except that he didn't even bother to text. I was worried sick. Should I get used to it Mama? I don't know, I guess I should.

Take care Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Edgar is in school now

Dear Mama,

Edgar is in school now, thanks God he got better. Last night, he wasn't able to sleep. Complaining of various pains, he felt better after throwing up. I guess it's all those toxins inside him that's ailing him. I still told him to take his paracetamol, just to be sure.

Thank you very much Mama. I know you helped me take care of the kids.

Ralph is still sleeping, although I will wake him up after writing you this letter. His class will start after lunch.

That's all for now Mama. Take care of yourself. I really miss you Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Angel is now in school, Edgar is still in bed

Dear Mama,

Angel is in school now, she's already fine. I hope she will still be while in school. But Edgar is still in bed Mama, he isn't well yet. He said he was feeling dizzy this morning. He's still hot Mama.

As of this time though (2PM), he looks better. He asked me to buy him apples. That's all he ate for lunch. He didn't eat rice, he said his stomach aches. I hope he gets well soon Mama. He's been missing 4 school days now.

That's all for now Mama. Help me take care of the kids please.

Thank you Mama. Take care of yourself too.

I love you Mama. I miss you.


Daddy

Update on Angel and Edgar

Dear Mama,

Angel seems to be fine now, her body temperature normalized this afternoon. I hope it stays that way, she wants to go to school tomorrow. Unfortunately, Edgar still has fever, although he said he will go to school tomorrow too. I said, we'll see, if he gets better tomorrow morning.

They are both asleep now Mama. Ralph, is not yet home, he'll be here anytime soon.

I hope the kids gets better soon. Thank you for helping me Mama. I really wish you were still here with us.

I miss you Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Angel is still sick

Dear Mama,

Angel is still sick. She was already fine this afternoon, now she's hot again. I'm taking her to the doctor tomorrow Mama. I hope her pedia is still holding clinic in the same place. I'm getting worried about her Mama. Please help me Mama, pray for Angel's recovery.

I was about to text our friends and ask for prayers Mama, unfortunately my cellphone load was stolen again by Globe. I still have P17 balance this afternoon, now it's zero, when I didn't text anyone. This is really irritating, especially in times like this.

Help me Mama. She will be absent again tomorrow. I hope she won't be confined. I'm really worried because it's an on-and-off fever. Make her well Mama, please.


Daddy

Angel has fever too

Dear Mama,

I hope this is not a repeat of what happened last year. When we tried wake Angel up this afternoon, Edgar noticed she feels hot. I asked him to get her body temperature, and when he did, the thermometer read 38.5.

I was worried Mama. I remembered last year when all of them got sick, one after the other. Edgar's lip is still swollen. He is still taking medicines.

Help me Mama, help me take care of the kids. I'm giving them their medicines.

Wish you were here Mama.


Daddy

Help me Mama

Dear Mama

Please help me. Edgar's lower lips has swollen due to an insect bite. We can't tell what kind of insect it was Mama, we woke up yesterday morning and his lower lip was already swollen. I have given him terramycin to apply to the insect bite and he is also gargling with bactidol. He is also taking an antibiotic now Mama, to prevent infection.

I'm worried Mama, he's been absent for two days already, and if it doesn't subside, he will be absent again next week. But what scares me is, he is mumbling now, as he tries to sleep. He said he is feeling pain near the part where the bite is.

I have already given him medicine, I was asking him to sleep, telling him the medicine will be having their effect soon. He also has occasional fever Mama.

Please Mama, help me. Help me take care of Edgar. I don't know what to do now. Help me make her swollen lips subside. Take care of him Mama. Please

Daddy

Follow-up on Angel

Dear Mama,

Like what I told you this morning, I will write about what happened to Angel in her first day alone. I was worried sick this afternoon Mama. It was already 4:30 PM and I still cannot catch a glimpse of her on the road.

I think I went outside every 2 minutes or so. Finally, at around 5PM, I saw her walking. I was relieved. Thank God, she's okay. I asked her why she was late, she said they extended their time by 5 minutes per subject.

When we were inside the house, she said that she no longer wants to go home alone and asked me to pick her up tomorrow. I asked her why, at first she didn't want to tell me and she said she can't remember.

Apparently, it was about her experience in the jeep, since she was small, others didn't give her much respect. She said, she wasn't able to sit well. That's why she no longer wants to go home alone. Which of course, I like best.

That's all for now Mama. My eyes are already closing.

Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Angel on her own

Dear Mama,

This morning, as I was taking Angel to school, I asked her if she wants to go home alone this afternoon. As expected she said yes. So, I will be letting her go home alone today Mama, I won't be picking her up. I hope I made the right decision. Please watch over her.

I'll see how it turns out this afternoon. Maybe, I will write again tonight.

Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Before I sleep

Dear Mama,

I was about to sleep, but I remembered it's been 3 days since my last letter. So I thought I'd write one before I sleep.

But I really don't know what to say now Mama, except that my wrist seems to be in pain more often lately. I hope it's not the carpal tunnel syndrome they've shown in TV before. Angel too, has been complaining of too many pains lately Mama. I hope nothings wrong with her.

I still haven't allowed her to go to school alone Mama, although she was always pitching it in indirectly. Like saying a younger brother of her classmate is already going home by himself. I still couldn't find it in me to let her go Mama.

My eyes, it seems are not normal anymore. I can hardly read Mama. Letters seems to blur, looks like I could be wearing glasses soon.

Well, father's day is here soon. But we don't really celebrate that. But I still you wish you were here.

I'll stop now Mama. I really don't have anything much to say, except that I miss you.

Take care of yourself.

I love you.


Daddy

Angel wants to go solo

Dear Mama,

This morning, while we were riding the jeepney on the way to school, Angel asked when me would I allow her to go to school all by herself. I was surprised Mama, because I thought it was just okay with her. I mean, me taking her to school every morning and picking her up in the afternoon.

She said she wants to experience it Mama. One more thing is that, her best friend lives just two blocks aways from us, which I believe is why she wanted to go by herself.

I would like to be independent Mama, but I don't think she is ready yet. I don't know. What would I tell her Mama? I am worried.

I hope you can help me Mama. Take care.

I love you.


Daddy

School has started

Dear Mama,

Angel and Edgar are already in school today. It's Angel second day while Edgar started their classes last Monday. Ralph, is still sleeping because his class will only be starting next week. Even then, his schedule will be in the evening, so he will still be sleeping longer too.

I'm still having a hard time adjusting to our new schedule Mama. Especially now that Ralph's class will be in the evening, it won't be fair for him to wake up early just to cook for Angel and Edgar, although he helped me these past two days.

I'm planning to get back to making chocolates lollipops and bars Mama. I hope I can squeeze it in between blogging so I can get additional income. Or maybe, I should prioritize them, I'll think about it Mama.

That's all I want to say now Mama, just updating you on the kids. Take care of yourself.

I miss you Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

miss you

Dear Mama,

I feel down... low... tired and confused

I really wish I could embrace right now Mama

Edgar's request

Dear Mama,

Yesterday, Edgar made a simple request for our breakfast. He requested that we have a pandesal dipped in egg and then fried/toasted. I remember that you used to always give in to these simple requests of Edgar.

So this morning, after I bought pandesal, I also bought 2 eggs, and tried to prepare it as Edgar's requested. It wasn't really that hard, but it's something that I won't ever think of doing if only EA did not request it.

I could have said no, cause we were fine with the plain pandesal. But I know it's just a simple request that you will gladly do for him, that's why I made it. Angel and Ralph enjoyed them too.

That's all I want to say Mama. I also told Edgar that I did it for him, because of you.

Take care of yourself Mama.

I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Just finished watching movies with the kids

Dear Mama,

It's 11PM here, just finished watching all episodes of Star Wars with the kids. We started last night, and completed the set tonight. We're just taking advantage of the remaining days of vacation Mama. And I also need to return the CD's tomorrow to my friend who lent them to me, and also the VCD player I borrowed from Blez.

The kids are still watching now Mama. I think they're watching Ghostbusters. I told them I will not join them anymore because I haven't worked since last night. I need to write some for tonight to make up for my non-production yesterday.

How I wish you were with us while watching the movies Mama. You could have enjoyed it, we could have enjoyed it better if you're with us.

I miss you Mama. Take care of yourself.

I love you.


Daddy

Tired and sleepy

Dear Mama,

I'm tired and sleepy. It's already 12:19 AM, but I think I will write one more article before I retire. I hope my eyes can cope. The children are already asleep Mama.

It's less than a week now and soon they'll be having their classes again. Angel is already excited. Ralph's got evening schedule today Mama. I hope he won't have a hard time adjusting to it..

Anyway, I really don't have any news to say today. I just want to talk to you while I take a break, and say how much I miss you.

Take care of yourself now Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

The monthly prayer meeting of Familia

Dear Mama,

We have attended the monthly prayer of the Familia this afternoon. Angel and Edgar was with me, Ralph didn't come with us though, because he said they have a fellowship today in the youth community where he belongs.

Anyway, I was looking forward to the prayer meeting since it's been a long time since I have attended one.

But of all topics that have to be discussed, it's about marriage and how to make it successful. It was supposed to be fine, but as the speakers were sharing their stories, I can't help but think of you.

I am thinking now, "Do really need to be in this community?" I mean, it looks like I don't fit in anymore. It's supposed to be for couples, and yet I am alone in attending these activities.

I guess, I just miss you so much Mama. Almost everything reminds me of the times we were together. I know it's too late, but I wish I have done more to make you happy while you were still here with me.

I miss you Mama. I love you.


Daddy

Should I stop going to mass?

Dear Mama,

Yesterday, I was able to buy Angel new shoes and also a few school materials for the kids. This morning, we were fortunate to find a store which sells Edgar's uniform. At least, we won't need to have one tailored-made Mama.

I was lucky that Koya Zal gave me money so I can buy some of the kids school needs. At least, I was able to pay the electric with the money I earned from blogging, which is just enough. Next week, I hope I can buy the rest of Angel's books.

We attended the anticipated mass this afternoon Mama. But these fast few Saturdays, it doesn't really feel good inside the church.

Whenever I see the commentators, lectors, the knights, the choirs.... everything inside the church, I remember those days when we were still young and serving in the church Mama. Those times when we were both working, either in the choir or outside teaching kids in public schools.

Because of that, it seems I can no longer concentrate on the mass. All I do is recall the days we shared together Mama.

To be honest Mama, there are lots of things that reminds me of you today.

I miss you Mama.

Happy Anniversary Mama!

Dear Mama,

Happy Anniversary!

It's May 19 again, it could have been our 23rd year anniversary today. I still remember how you said 'yes' to me then... it was full of hesitation. Yes, I've felt that Mama. And I know too that you just want to help me then.

But I don't want to put such an opportunity to waste. I knew that I wanted to be with you forever. So I did everything to prove myself to you, and I'm glad you appreciated my efforts and reciprocated what I gave you.

The life spent with you was always worth looking back Mama. All those happy memories, our petty quarrels... cards, pictures, joys, pains, laughter and frustrations -- everything Mama, as long as its with you.

I know, I didn't make the 'perfect' criteria for you. I fumbled... I stumbled. Yet you accepted me, and we renewed our vow of forever.

Unfortunately, as fate would have it, forever isn't for us to spend with. You have to leave early, and for a good reason. You need to rest.

Now, that I'm alone, I can only look back and treasure those memories... memories that will stay with me forever.

Happy anniversary Mama.

I love you.

I miss you.


Daddy

Ralph is enrolled and my blogging progress

Dear Mama,

Sorry for not writing for a few days, I'm having problems with my schedules. Not really that busy, just don't know how to manage my time well.

I was also able to enroll Ralph last Friday Mama. Ate Let already sent the money for his enrollment, including our back accounts last semester. I just hope Ralph would do good in his studies, so as not to put to waste Ate Let's financial support. I keep telling Ralph that. I was also able to buy a few of Angel's books and notebooks with the money.

Another news I want to share with you Mama is that I was nominated as an emerging influential blogger this year. I know this is far from the Palanca Awards, but at least its something that proves I can accomplish something with my blogging. I have been getting feedback that I am wasting my time with my blogs.

I really don't expect to win Mama, but it's already a big deal to me. I hope you will be proud of me with this sort of recognition Mama. I just wish you're still here, so I can share with you all the excitement I'm feeling even though it's just a few votes.

That will be all for now Mama. Take care of yourself.

I miss you Mama. I love you.


Daddy

Edgar is now also enrolled

Dear Mama,

This morning, I was able to enroll Edgar. He'll be in third year now. He is lucky he was not removed from the SPA class. I told him to do better this year, because we will be having a difficult time finding for a new school in his fourth year.

Only Ralph is not yet enrolled as of now Mama. We're still waiting for the money to come. We still have a balance from last semester. Anyway, his enrollment will be on May 25, although some of his classmates have already enrolled as early enrollment are allowed to avoid the crowd on the actual enrollment dates.

I really don't have anything much to say Mama. Take care of yourself. I miss you Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Happy Mother's Mama

Dear Mama,

It is our second Mother's Day without you by our side. I don't think I have learned to live with that fact... I don't think I ever will.

We didn't really celebrate it Mama, although I took the kids to the mall today, only because there was no electricity the whole day and it was so hot in the house. I can only imagine that you were with us while we were walking in the mall Mama.

I can see different family groups, all celebrating this day with their mothers still with them. While we seem to be an odd group, two kids with a father in tow. Obviously, we really don't have any business about the occasion.

Anyway, I just want to greet you Mama, even only through this letter...

Happy Mother's Day Mama!

I miss you.

I love you Mama.


Daddy

No celebration for us today...

Dear Mama,

Today is my birthday. Of course you know that. The kids thought that I'm going to take them out today, maybe at the mall. But I didn't.

After going to the bank to do some errands, we just stayed home Mama. There was no special celebration for us today. No special meal even. Just our regular easy to cook fried food.

Yes I know it's boring Mama. So is my life right now. I don't know how to let my days pass. It's always a struggle everyday. Trying to be positive, or at least trying not to show the kids that I'm almost giving up.

It's difficult Mama. I'm struggling.

How I wish I can be with you soon.

I miss you Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Thank you Mama

Dear Mama

Thank you for making Ralph well. We woke up this morning with him already feeling okay. Thank you for taking care of him Mama.

Take care of yourself too.

I love you Mama.

I miss you.


Daddy

Ralph is sick...

Dear Mama,

I was able to enroll Angel this morning. At least I can rest from worrying for a while now knowing that she won't be stopping again this year. But I still have to work hard because I still have to pay for her next installments.

But the reason I wrote to you again today Mama is that Ralph is sick. He is vomiting, and we can't tell why. He was just fine, even after dinner. But after doing the dishes, while he was resting, he said he wasn't feeling well. Then he run to the bathroom and he vomits.

He has already vomited more than 3 times now Mama. I already gave him medicine, and bought him candies. He is trying to rest now, although he said he still feels like it every now and then.

Please help me take care of Ralph Mama. Only your touch can cure him.

I hope he can go straight to sleep so he can rest, it's almost 12 midnight here Mama.

That's all I really wanted to say Mama. Help me take care of Ralph. Thank you Mama. Take care of yourself too.

I miss you Mama

I love you


Daddy

Angel's enrollment

Dear Mama,

Tomorrow I am going to enroll Angel. She will be Grade 5 now Mama, she is really growing fast. As of late, she is getting very talkative and inquisitive again. Maybe because she's always home now, since there's no classes yet.

It's fortunate that Ate Let gave me money for Angel's enrollment, otherwise I won't be able to enroll her. She also said she will help me with Ralph's tuition fee, I just hope Ralph will do good in his school.

My birthday is almost here Mama. Nothing I want really. I just want to tell you. Of course, I know you remember.

Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

I love you


Daddy

Angel had fever last night

Dear Mama,

Angel had fever last night, I gave her paracetamol. She seems to be fine now, they are having their breakfast. I told her to take paracetamol again after breakfast. I don't understand why she had fever Mama, she was just fine yesterday afternoon, but after taking a nap at around 5pm, she was weak when I woke her up at around 6:30 for dinner. I hope she'll get well now.

But what I'm really worried about today Mama, is that today is month-end and my check is due again. My boss didn't give the cash advance I was requesting, and my creditor isn't answering me yet regarding my request for an extension of the check until Tuesday next week.

That means I need to produce the money today Mama. My boss will be giving me my salary, and a little cash advance, but not the full amount I need to pay for the amount due. I'm still short by P3,000 I hope I can find it today Mama.

Well, I really don't have anything more to say now. I'm sorry for bothering you with my financial problems Mama. Please help me take care of Angel so that she won't get fever again.

Take care of yourself Mama.

I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

A day after the swimming

Dear Mama,

The children are still asleep, it's only 4:31 AM here. I was meaning to write you last night, but my internet was not cooperating. I really needed to have my computer reformatted Mama.

Anyway, Angel and Edgar had fun yesterday, although I have to cut it short because we have to go home early. But they're not really complaining Mama, I'm pretty sure they had a good time. I also played with them on the pool, it's unfortunate though that we don't have pictures together, but I was able to take some pictures of them on the pool Mama.

Ralph, from the looks of it, had a good time too in their outreach Mama. For one, he said there were plenty of food, he didn't eat dinner at home anymore last night. He didn't tell us about the other details though Mama, only food. So typical of Ralph.

As for me, here I am, blogging as early as 4:00AM to make up for the lost time last night. I will upload the pictures in multiply later Mama, hope you can see them.

'til my next letter Mama. Take care of yourself.

I miss you Mama. I love you.


Daddy

Today is Familia swimming day

Dear Mama,

Today, the Familia will have the 'annual swimming family-day activity' and the kids are excited, especially Angel. I really don't want to go Mama, because if you remember last year, they all got sick after the 'swimming day.'

But Angel promised me that she will stop once I ask her, and I don't really want her to miss childhood fun because of 'being afraid' I just need to take really good care of her I guess. She needs to have fun while she's still young. I know you will agree Mama.

What really saddens me this time Mama is that Ralph won't be coming with us. He will have his outreach with the Immaculate Heart Community and he doesn't want to be absent. Now, as much as I want him to be with us, that is really a worthwhile activity for him to be involved in. I guess, I just have to accept the fact that he now have his own 'community' besides his family.

I just wish he'll give more priority to his family though. We're such a small family, and you know I don't want missing any of our kids. Maybe some other time, he would choose us.

Anyway, that's all I got to say now Mama. Help me watch over Angel as she enjoys swimming today.

Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Trying to get by

Dear Mama,

How are you? I really don't have any new things to say to you today Mama, I just wanted to talk you. How I really wish I could.

It's 1:19 AM and the kids are all sleeping, while I'm still here in front of my computer. I am not really doing anything 'enterprising' as there aren't really anything on the net that can earn me income today.

I'm just fixing my blogs Mama, updating some, and creating new ones. Angel said she wants to have a blog. I said I will create her a blog next week. I'm not sure though if she can really do it Mama.

We played under the rain today Mama, although it was only Angel and I. Ralph and Edgar took the opportunity to use this computer and play on the internet, while I was playing with Angel under the rain.

It's less than 3 weeks 'til my birthday Mama. But we don't really celebrate it, as it's not really important. I only wish that I will dream of you, that would be a perfect birthday gift for me.

That's all I can say now Mama. I really would love to say a lots of things, but you know I'll just be whining, so I better just keep them to myself.

Take of yourself now Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Playing in the rain

Dear Mama,

It rained so hard this afternoon. I just woke up from the afternoon nap then, so I decided to take a bath under the rain. Angel asked me if she can take bath in the rain too, I allowed her since we won't be staying under the rain long.

Ralph also joined us. I was asking Edgar to join us but he didn't want to. You know him, always choosing a different option. So it's just the three of us - Ralph, Angel and me. We were playing and jumping under heavy rain. We were having so much fun Mama, especially Angel who have been wanting to play under the rain for so long.

But Ralph went inside early because he said he's already getting cold. Angel and I stayed under the rain for about 10 to 15 minutes more. After that I told Angel to stop, even though we're still enjoying the rain. I'm afraid she'll catch fever if we stayed longer Mama.

Well, she's fine. They are all sleeping now Mama. Just want to tell you how much fun we had under the rain. Wish you were here with us.

Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Visita Iglesia, children's vacation

Dear Mama,

I was planning to write you right after we finished our Visita Iglesia last Thursday Mama, unfortunately we came home at almost 12 midnight and we were already tired because of too much traffic then.

Then I became occupied with writing that I wasn't able to write again on Good Friday and even this morning.

Anyway, the children are already sleeping now Mama. Last Thursday, our Visita Iglesia was not as smooth as last year because of too much traffic and the kids are always having an argument. But they like to go on continuing this practice.

We arrive home I think at around 11:50PM or something. We were able to visit 7 churches here in Angeles City. How I wish you were here with us Mama.

Anyway, that's all I want to say right now.

I remembered, I dreamt of you yesterday. Unfortunately, it wasn't quite a happy dream that's why I don't want to talk about it.

I miss you so much Mama. Take care of yourself.

I love you.


Daddy

MaundyThursday

Dear Mama,

Today is Maundy Thursday, and the children are looking forward to another Visita Iglesia tonight. We were able to start that last year Mama, I hope I can continue this tradition with them.

Although, this family activity would have been much happier for us if you were here.

I'm sorry, here I go again. I didn't mean to say that, I know it won't be possible. I just thought of, why we weren't able to do it when you were still here. We could have started the tradition then,

Anyway, it's only 7AM and the kids are still sleeping Mama. I have no plans of waking them, I'll let them sleep for a while.

Take care of yourself Mama.

I miss you

I love you.


Daddy

Wanting to be with you sooner...

Dear Mama,

I hope I can prepare everything for the kids, so I can be with you sooner.

I'm tired Mama. I miss you.

Daddy

Vacation time

Dear Mama,

It's summer vacation for the kids now and they are here at home all day. They don't do anything except rest, read, and play in the computers. Of course, they also do house chores. Ralph is cooking, while Edgar does the sweeping.

Angel also has a new pet dog, but I think I already told you about that Mama. Aside from that, nothing really I can say now. I wasn't able to enroll her to the tae kwon do lesson.

Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Cramming, rushing, and Edgar's birthday

Dear Mama,

It's 2:49 AM. I'm still writing and submitting articles. Actually Mama, I started at 1 AM, I stopped last night because of occasional brownout, that's why I decided to continue it this early.

I'm still cramming Mama, trying to write as much as I can to meet my required quota. Personal quota that is, so I will earn enough to pay for my loan amortization due this month-end.

Edgar turned 14 yesterday Mama. Unfortunately, we didn't celebrate it, we just stayed at home. I hope he understands Mama. I am planning to make it up with the kids, when everything gets better... if ever they will be.

That's all for now Mama. I'll go back to writing. Take care of yourself Mama.

I miss you... hope to see you soon Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Ralph's recognition day

Dear Mama,

I meant to write last night, unfortunately I got caught up with a lot of writing. Anyway, I just want to tell you Mama that Ralph got his certificate yesterday for his being included in the Dean's List last semester. There was even a recognition ceremony held at Holy Angel yesterday morning.

It was a first for me to be on stage with Ralph Mama. Finally, he got proof of his genius. I hope he continues to be serious with his studies now Mama.

Next week will be their issuance of grades for the second semester. Although, I know he can't get it yet cause we still have a balance in his tuition fee. Still haven't found any lenders yet Mama. I hope can find some miracles soon.

That's all for now Mama. By the way, Angel got a new dog. Her friend's mother gave it to her. She still don't know how to be a responsible pet owner yet, but hopefully she would be able to cope with taking care of her dog.

Take care Mama. I miss you.

I love you.


Daddy

Still no luck

Dear Mama,

Still not having any luck...

How can I make Atching Ledy pay?

Dear Mama,

School is almost over and I still haven't raised money to pay for Ralph's balance on tuition fee. I really don't see anything happening or coming to us now. Nanay already has enough concerns and I don't want to bother her anymore, Ate Let it seems already had enough of me, and I can't blame her.

The computers are still unsold and they are depreciating. The only thing that I can think of right now Mama is Atching Ledy's loan from you. How can I make her pay Mama? Even when you were here, she wouldn't pay, even though you went to her even while you're sick.

I don't hear from her anymore Mama. I hope she would come and give assurance that she would pay. The last time I saw her was during your interment, and I've never seen her since then.

If only she would pay Mama, that would give me a chance to start again because I can pay some of our debts, including Ralph's tuition fee.

Don't be surprised if I may write to you again from an internet cafe soon. Any day now, I might get my connection disconnected again. I'm already 3 or 4 months delayed in my account. I have to prioritize the kids' daily school expenses Mama. My income from writing isn't just enough. Most of the times I still have to ask money from Nanay just to see us through the next payout.

I'm sorry for bothering you like this Mama. I know I should not trouble you with things like this anymore, but I don't have anyone to talk. I wish Atching Ledy would pay Mama... I really wish.

I guess I troubled you enough Mama. Please take care of yourself. The kids are all in school having their tests right now.

I miss you Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

Angel wants to take tae kwon do lessons

Dear Mama,

There is a tae kwon do gym that opened near the house, Angel wants to take tae kwon do lessons this summer.

I told her I will enroll her. She is already excited Mama. I hope I can enroll her. Remember, we are planning to enroll her in a tae kwon do class? Now there's a gym just right beside us. That is why I'm working late so that I can write more.

Today is their last week in class Mama. She is begging me to let her go with her classmates for their closing party. I still did not said yes.

That's all for now Mama.

Take care of yourself. I miss you Mama.

I love you.


Daddy

There's that feeling again...

Dear Mama,

I don't like being alone... I don't like the feeling of being alone. Everytime the children goes to school Mama, I am left alone at the house. Unless I get myself busy, crazy things enter my mind Mama...

Most of the times I am talking to you, asking you what to do. I know I won't get any answer... but how I wish I could.

Everytime I visit you at the La Pieta, I don't want to leave you anymore. I wish I could stay there and be with you forever Mama.

I miss you Mama. I wish to be with you soon...

A 'discussion' with the neighbor

Dear Mama,

I had a not-so-good discussion with our neighbor this morning. You see Mama, they've been burning leaves almost daily, their smoke are being blown toward us. Usually, I just let them especially when the kids are in school.

But today, the smoke were too thick, I can't hardly breathe Mama. And Angel is here, she is inhaling all the smoke who is already getting inside our house. Afraid that it might affect her health, I went out the talked to the neighbor and told him about the damage he's causing us.

He put out the fire Mama, but apparently he didn't take it well. Even saying that I should not get mad and should tell him nicely. I was not shouting Mama nor am I cursing. I was mad, because I really can't breathe well. He didn't like what I did. I sense a threat somewhere.

Knowing that there were plenty of them who live in that house, I mellowed a bit. But it didn't feel well Mama. I appeared that I was the one who did wrong. I noticed too that they were not Kapampangan... who knows from what province they came from.

Next time, I might go directly to the Barangay hall Mama. I need to protect the kids. That's all for now Mama, I just wanted to talk to you because I really don't feel well right now.

Take care of yourself Mama. I miss you. I love you.


Daddy

School's almost over...

Dear Mama,

It's almost 9AM and Angel is still sleeping. I just let her be, anyway it's Saturday. Ralph and Edgar are already in school. Edgar have class today because they are preparing for the NAT on March 21.

In just a few weeks, school will be over Mama. I have no problem with Angel as I have already paid for her tuition fee last month. Unfortunately, I can't say the same for Ralph. They will be having their Finals exam in two weeks and we're still delayed by about two installments. I wish I can earn more money this week Mama.

Edgar's birthday is also near Mama, although I don't know if we can do something to celebrate it. As for Angel, do you know that they are planning for a closing party? They planned to go SM Clark when the school ends, it made me laugh, as if I will allow her to go by herself.

I guess I need to wake Angel up now Mama. Take care of yourself. I miss you Mama. I love you.


Daddy